still breathing.

Sorry, but you might need to get used to it because I’m a hugger.

I can deal with an occasional hug.

I feel like screaming “I’m a celebrity get me out of here.” This lack of air conditioning is a sin.

I've been fanning myself with a shoe for the past hour. I'd rather be on I'm a celebrity at least there you just eat a kangaroo nut and then leave.

A fat guy punching a lamp post? I don’t know what you’re talking about, that sounds like a hoot. Total scrapbook material.

You'd be surprised how annoying it gets after the first two times.

Oh, that sucks. But I’ll do my best to be an adequate replacement friend, if you’ll let me. Starting with this hug

Oh.. I'm not much of a hugger, but thanks I guess.

You don’t care about anything? What about your family and friends? What about me? Hmm, I wonder what I would write about with that title, aha

Well my friends are across the ocean and my family left me at a boarding school. I'm currently undecided about you, munchkin. Only good things, I hope.

I’m glad you’ll be coming along. We need someone around who will be sure to keep us all from becoming bored and you sound like that person.

You can count on it, love. Although safety is not a guarantee whilst on the Tate Experience so you should be at least ten paces away from me at all times.

I bet I can find some other emotions in you Tate. Maybe I could write a story about you

I doubt it, and I don't really mind. It saves a lot of trouble if you don't give a shit about anything. Please do, although I demand it be called 'Tate Grayson Hot Hot Hot'.

One of the many exotic tales of a night out with Wyatt and Jacob. I would say Elliot, too, but he got knocked out by a rodeo bull earlier in the evening and taken away in an ambulance. 

American nights out sound amazing, back in England the best you got was that token fat guy who always got too drunk and punched a lamp post.

I’m allowed to do that? Cool! I’ll save it all then, and hopefully I won’t explode. You should do the same too.

I don't have any excitement, I'm just sarcasm from head to toe, no room for those other silly emotions.

It was a dark and stormy night and Wyatt convinced me it was a good idea to drink a dipping bowl of hot sauce when we stopped in on the way back from a party. Anyway, there I was, chugging Satan juice and pumping my fist, when a gaggle of nuns happened by apparently wanting milkshakes. One of them gave me a disapproving glare with a particularly saggy eyelid and I felt it the correct time to hurl my chicken wing through the air — it was lathered in barbecue sauce, too, but that’s not the point — and catapult it against her ass cheek. The chicken actually fell apart and flew everywhere like shrapnel, God knows what kind of bionic butt cargo she was carrying. Then I nearly got throttled in the name of the lord and I had to gallop off into the street to avoid an early grave.

Oh my lord, that may possibly be the greatest thing I have ever heard. Waste of a chicken wing, though.

What would you suggest then? Since you are the boss

Save up your hour of excitement each day and then use them all at once and hope your head doesn't explode from too much fun.

Oh my, I would love to see you dancing.. Right before I actually teach you a few moves that will get you some ladies. All you have to do is watch Dirty Dancing with me in the studio and then we can get to work.. On the dancing, of course..

It's actually quite painful to watch. I take dad dancing to a whole new level. What kind of a person would I be if I turned down an evening of Dirty Dancing? That film is my guilty pleasure. Wait, are you going to teach me how to do the lift from the end?

Well, as long as my grandparents believe it will I’m stuck here.

No need to get bummed out about it, love. It's pretty cool here once you've figured out who's a good laugh and who's an assmonkey.

Not one I’d happily associate with. A man needs his panties like he needs his meat — preferably also served on a steaming silver dish though I’m not a picky soul.

I'm not entirely sure what to do with this information.. I don't have a silver dish unfortunately, perhaps next time I'll be more prepared.