Himbo Rights!

“that’s kind of what i was going for, tanner, but i feel like my skills may be fading in the pageant department.” whitney grabbed a muffin herself with a small laugh, taking a small bite and swallowing before speaking. “my dad just assumed raising girls meant forcing them into beauty pageants. which, let me tell you, isn’t for everyone and is not as fun or glamorous as they’re made out to be.” she took another slow bite and looked at him again. “what about you? what’s the one recipe you’re an expert at making?”

“Guess we’ll have to sign you up for another one then. Can’t let all that talent go to waste. I’m sure there’s some Miss Jersey Shore we can throw you into.” the boy chuckled. Tanner squinted in thought, thinking about all the pageants he had been forced to go to because an ex girlfriend was taking part. He faintly recalled his exes complaining about how teasing their hair made their scalp hurt, but was always was too distracted with looking at their bikinis. “Aw c’mon it couldn’t have been that bad. You were probably better than you think, you’re just being hard on yourself. . . I bet getting to hang out with a bunch of other chicks was super fun though!” he said, again oblivious to just how complicated women’s relationships could be. “Uhhhhhhh. . .” Tanner managed to burn water, so finding something to answer with was taking him long. “Love.” he answered sarcastically, bursting into laughter as he grabbed for another muffin. “Nah, I can’t cook for shit. Don’t tell anyone else I’m not good at something though. I don’t want them knowing I’m humble.”

“i don’t know if we could have continued being friends if you didn’t like banana chocolate muffins,” whitney joked, smiling as she watched him eat with expectant eyes. when he gave his approval, whitney punched her fist in the air in victory. the recipe was still perfect. she laughed, shaking her head. “unfortunately juggling is not one of my many talents, no, but i can do this,” she said, using the kitchen as her mini runway as she walked back in forth, posing like a model and making it a little silly to make tanner laugh. her beauty pageant days where ones she’d rather forget, but she’ll never forget the man her dad hired to help her win yelling at her while she learned the proper way to walk and pose. 

Tanner gave the girl a small fist pound to show his approval and praise of the muffins, mouth too full to speak properly. “Walking is quite the talent. I bet Steven Hawking is real jealous of all your little moves there.” he swallowed with a chuckle. “You remind me kind of, of those girls who’d have to pose all fancy as they walked in at those debutante ball I’d have to go to in high school.” he teased, “Were you one of those kid models for Baby Gap or something?”

Sand was constantly blowing its way up to the roof deck or falling off of his roommates like fuzzy bees pollinating flowers. Although Tanner appreciated a nice foot exfoliator as much as the next guy, it was starting to irk him that he couldn’t walk on the roof without feeling the ground up micro rocks sticking between his toes. In an act of desperation, Tanner got the hose and was washing the fake grass of the roof deck. While working, he noticed one of his housemates sitting peacefully and completely unsuspecting to trouble. Tanner, hose in hand, moved it from the floor and pointed it at his housemate, spraying them. “Oopsie.” he halfheartedly apologized, smirking at them.

to say she felt humbled living in a place like this was an understatement. however, she knew she’d have every move of hers watched, every eyeroll caught on camera and every scoff emphasized and twisted to be related to something completely different. so, she was trying her best to keep her positive demeanor, even if she had to sneak into the bathroom to throw a tantrum every few hours because of how terribly uncomfortable the mattress of the twin bed she was forced to sleep on was or the fact that she’d have to go a summer without visiting the hamptons. deciding to treat herself, she ordered an entire pizza for herself and bought it up to the roof, sprawled out on a loungechair as she worked on her tan and indulged in the cheesy goodness. offering the person who had joined her on the roof a smile, she nodded her head down towards the box of pizza. “well isn’t it your lucky day since i’m feeling like sharing.”

Tanner had attempted to make pasta, but had failed miserably and left the stove a mess. He swore to himself that he was going to clean it up once the weight of his failure had gone away, but that was hours ago and he had forgotten about it until one of the housemates started screaming about who left the mess. As soon as he heard then, Tanner dipped to the roof to hide away and play dumb if anyone came up and asked him if it was him. “Good, because I wasn’t gunna ask.” he laughed, pecking the top of her head before grabbing a slice and jumping over to the lounger next to her. “You know I think I heard somewhere you can use pizza grease as tanning oil.” he joked, looking down to the girl’s legs. “You’re looking a little white there.”

he had a great time getting to know his new roommates last night but unlike the rest of them, a night in was not something he was vibing with. after everyone had went their separate ways, he got dressed and made his way to karma where he partied all night long. it was late in the afternoon and he had just called last night’s conquest a cab. leading her to the front door with promises of ‘i’ll call you laters’ and ‘i’ll see you soon’ theo slammed the door shut, letting out a laugh as he looked towards the person sitting on the living room couch. “gotta keep this shit going like a revolving door, you know?” he said, plopping down next to them as he took a piece of whatever was on the plate they were eating from. “one goes out, another comes in.”

“Oh yeah I totally feel ya. You don’t want a stage five clinger on your hand. Especially if they’re prone to getting fuckin’ stabbed.” Tanner agreed, though most of the time he’d spend the next day trying to calculate how long is long enough to call the girl again. Perhaps even look through her instagram. Tanner was a self proclaimed player, but really he was the water boy. “She was real hot though. Good for you, brother.” he nodded, offering Theo another pizza bagel. “That ass was song worthy."

whitney had spent the day sunbathing, mostly, occasionally talking to some familiar faces in the house, but after a while of strumming her guitar in her room, she decided to go to the kitchen and find something to eat for lunch. after making herself a sandwich, she came across a cupboard of baking materials, and she had spent an hour slaving away in the kitchen, she pulled out a tray of perfectly done chocolate banana muffins - the only recipe she’d remembered from her brief trips to cooking classes. she let them cool for a bit and was unloading them on a tray when she noticed someone walk into the kitchen and she smiled, nodding at the muffins she was plating. “want one? they’re fresh out the oven.”

Tanner was pretty clueless when it came to being on his own. He relied on his dad to cool when he lived at home or one of his roommates to make something for him so he didn’t have to live off of cold Chef Boyardee cans. So when it seemed like most people in the house knew how to cook already, he was able to breathe. Tanner could go another summer without learning how to cook for himself. 

“Duh, those are the best kind.” he smiled, taking one before heading to the fridge to grab butter. He sat down at the kitchen island across from his roommate and spread it on his muffin, groaning as it melted. “This is hotter than a Macklemore track.” Which was kind of an oxymoron to anyone with taste, unbeknownst to Tanner. “Thank you, Miss Houston. What a renaissance woman my favorite roommate is. You got any other talents?” he asked, taking a bite. “Can you juggle too?”

Introducing TANNER “HOUSE” MOTTE !