Emily had been trying to figure out if Rocky Douglas liked her for approximately three weeks when his younger brothers got kidnapped by ninjas.
Well, not exactly ninjas. They looked more like generic henchmen in black outfits, but Rocky had yelled something about "bad ninjas" while performing what appeared to be an actual backflip off a wall, so Emily was going with ninjas as the working theory.
The thing was, Rocky had been walking her home from school—actually walking her home, like he'd offered and everything—and they'd been having a completely normal conversation about the science project, and Emily had been pretty sure he was about to say something important based on the way he kept starting sentences and then stopping.
Then a van had pulled up, several men in masks had jumped out, and Rocky had immediately shifted into what Emily could only describe as "ninja mode," which involved a lot of yelling and impressively acrobatic fighting that would have been really cool to watch if Emily hadn't been terrified and confused about what was happening.
The men had grabbed Rocky's brothers—Colt and Tum Tum, who Emily had met exactly twice and who had both times asked her extremely embarrassing questions about whether she "liked" Rocky—and driven off while Rocky chased after them doing moves that Emily was pretty sure weren't taught in normal karate classes.
Which left Emily standing on the sidewalk, her backpack still on, her science textbook still open to the page about photosynthesis, trying to process the fact that her potential maybe-crush had just fought off multiple adult men using martial arts and was now presumably going to rescue his brothers from some kind of criminal organization.
"Okay," Emily said to nobody in particular. "That happened."
The problem with having a crush on Rocky Douglas, Emily was discovering, was that normal middle school dating logic did not account for the fact that he was apparently some kind of trained ninja warrior who fought actual criminals on a regular basis.
Emily had done everything right according to the advice she'd gotten from her friends and older sister. She'd made sure to sit near him in class. She'd laughed at his jokes (even the ones that weren't that funny). She'd asked him for help with math homework despite being perfectly capable of doing it herself. She'd even orchestrated that walk home by mentioning that she lived "kind of near" his house (she didn't, but two miles wasn't that far).
What she had not accounted for was that Rocky's life apparently included elements like "fighting armed kidnappers" and "performing backflips during combat situations" and "having the kind of younger brothers who got targeted by criminal organizations."
The next day at school, Rocky wasn't there. Neither were Colt and Tum Tum. Emily spent most of first period trying to figure out if she should be worried about their safety or if this was just normal Douglas family stuff that happened sometimes.
During lunch, she overheard some kids talking about how the Douglas brothers had been in the news for "helping police apprehend suspects," which seemed like a very official way of describing what Emily suspected had been another ninja situation.
"Did you see Emily's boyfriend on TV?" one of her friends asked with a grin.
"He's not my boyfriend," Emily replied automatically, even though this was getting increasingly frustrating to keep saying. "We're just... we're friends."
"Friends who walk home together."
"One time! And it got interrupted by kidnappers!"
Her friends looked at her like she was making this up, which was fair because "our walk was interrupted by kidnappers" sounded like the kind of excuse you'd invent if you didn't want to admit that nothing romantic had happened.
Rocky came back to school two days later with what looked like a bruise on his cheek and a slightly different haircut, both of which somehow made him look even cooler than usual, which Emily decided was completely unfair.
She wanted to ask him if he was okay, if his brothers were safe, if he'd actually fought criminals and won, but when she approached him before science class, all that came out was: "Did you finish the photosynthesis worksheet?"
Rocky blinked at her, clearly expecting a different question. "Uh, no. I was kind of... dealing with some family stuff."
"Right. Family stuff. That's totally fine."
They stood in awkward silence for a moment. Emily tried to think of a way to transition from photosynthesis to "so I heard you fought crime?" but couldn't figure out how to make that sound casual.
"Hey, um," Rocky said, and Emily's heart did a small flip because this was the same tone he'd used right before the kidnapping van had shown up, "thanks for not making a big deal about what happened the other day."
"With the... the ninjas?"
"They weren't technically ninjas. Just really well-trained criminals working for my dad's business rival who wanted to kidnap us for ransom."
Emily processed this sentence, which contained several pieces of information that raised more questions than they answered. "That's... that happens to you?"
"Kind of a lot, actually."
More awkward silence. Emily was trying to figure out if "gets kidnapped regularly" was something that should affect her opinion of Rocky as a potential boyfriend when Colt and Tum Tum appeared from nowhere like tiny chaotic ghosts.
"Hi Emily!" Tum Tum said with the kind of enthusiasm that immediately put Emily on alert.
"Rocky talks about you ALL the time," Colt added, grinning in a way that made Rocky's face turn bright red.
"No I don't! Emily, I don't— they're exaggerating—"
"He has a whole notebook where he—OW!"
Rocky had apparently kicked Colt under the desk with what looked like impressive precision. His brothers ran off giggling, leaving Emily and Rocky in even more awkward silence than before.
"Sorry about them," Rocky muttered. "They're... they're the worst."
"It's okay," Emily said, trying very hard not to smile too obviously. "Little brothers are annoying."
"So you talk about me?" Emily heard herself ask, immediately regretting it but also desperately needing to know.
Rocky's face somehow turned even redder. "I mean, sometimes? Like, normal amounts? The way you'd talk about anyone who's in your class?"
The bell rang, saving them both from further awkwardness. Emily spent the entire science class pretending to take notes while actually trying to figure out if Rocky talking about her to his brothers (who were apparently also ninjas?) meant what she hoped it meant.
The next incident happened during the school assembly two weeks later.
Emily was sitting with her friends, half-paying attention to the principal's announcements about upcoming events, when she noticed Rocky and his brothers having what looked like an urgent whispered conversation several rows ahead.
Then Rocky stood up, whispered something to a teacher, and all three brothers left the auditorium quickly.
"Where are they going?" Emily's friend whispered.
"I don't know," Emily replied, but she had a sinking feeling it was another ninja situation.
Her suspicions were confirmed an hour later when the principal made an announcement that there had been a "security situation" in the parking lot that had been "resolved by some very brave students," and could Rocky, Colt, and Tum Tum Douglas please come to the office.
Emily watched through the classroom window as all three brothers walked past, looking remarkably calm for people who had apparently just dealt with a "security situation." Rocky glanced toward her classroom, made brief eye contact with Emily through the window, and gave a small wave before continuing to the office.
Emily waved back automatically, then spent the rest of class trying to figure out what the appropriate response was to a boy who casually waved at you after fighting crime during a school assembly.
The conversation she'd been trying to have with Rocky finally happened three weeks later, during what started as another attempted walk home from school.
"So," Emily said, deciding to just address it directly, "the ninja thing. That's just... part of your life?"
Rocky looked embarrassed. "Kind of? My grandpa trained us. It's a family tradition."
"And the criminals? They just keep showing up?"
"My dad's business is complicated. There are these people who want to get revenge or whatever, and they think kidnapping us will help with that."
Emily tried to imagine casually explaining to her parents that she might be late for dinner because she'd been kidnapped by her dad's business rivals. "That sounds really stressful."
"It's not that bad. Usually we just beat them up and they go away for a while."
"Usually you just beat them up," Emily repeated. "That's the usual solution."
"I mean, we also call the police afterward. It's all legal."
They walked in silence for a bit. Emily was trying to reconcile the Rocky she knew from science class—who got nervous during presentations and always shared his extra pencils—with the Rocky who apparently fought crime as a regular hobby.
"Does it... does it bother you?" Rocky asked quietly. "The ninja stuff?"
Emily considered this. On one hand, it was definitely weird. On the other hand, Rocky had looked really cool doing that backflip, and there was something kind of admirable about someone who would immediately jump into danger to protect his brothers despite them being extremely annoying.
"It's different," Emily said finally. "But I don't think it's bad different."
Rocky's face lit up in a way that made Emily's stomach do that flip thing again. "Really?"
"Really. I mean, it's definitely not normal. But you're... you're pretty cool when you're doing the ninja stuff."
"I didn't say that. I said you're cool when you're doing ninja stuff. That's different."
"That sounds like the same thing."
"It's not the same thing."
"It sounds really similar."
They were both smiling now, and Emily realized this might actually be the moment that Rocky said something important, the moment she'd been waiting for since she first decided that yes, she definitely liked him and not just as a friend.
Then Colt and Tum Tum jumped out from behind a hedge where they'd apparently been hiding, yelling "Rocky and Emily sitting in a tree!" with the kind of perfect timing that could only come from extensive ninja stealth training being used for maximum sibling annoyance.
Rocky's face went from happy to mortified in approximately half a second. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH!"
His brothers ran off laughing while Rocky chased them with what Emily had to admit was impressive speed. She watched the three of them disappear around the corner, their shouts of "K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" fading into the distance.
Emily stood alone on the sidewalk, her backpack still on, her homework still unfinished, trying to process the fact that her almost-moment with Rocky had been interrupted by his ninja brothers who had been literally hiding in bushes to spy on them.
"Next time," she said to herself, "I'm going to ask him to a movie. In a public place. Where his brothers can't hide in the bushes."
The movie date happened two weeks later, after Emily had explicitly told Rocky "no brothers allowed" and Rocky had promised they wouldn't even know he was going.
Emily had chosen a movie that seemed normal enough—some action thing that Rocky had mentioned wanting to see—and they'd made plans to meet at the theater on Saturday afternoon.
She arrived ten minutes early, which gave her plenty of time to stress about whether this was officially a date or just two friends seeing a movie together, and whether she should have worn something nicer than jeans and her favorite sweater.
Rocky showed up exactly on time, which Emily was starting to recognize as very typical of him—ninja training apparently included punctuality. He was wearing a button-up shirt that looked like he'd put actual thought into his outfit, which made Emily feel slightly better about her own wardrobe anxiety.
"Hey," Rocky said, smiling in a way that made Emily pretty sure this was, in fact, a date.
"Hey," Emily replied, trying to sound casual despite her heart doing gymnastics.
They bought tickets, got popcorn (Rocky insisted on paying, which seemed like another date indicator), and found seats in the middle of the theater. Everything was going perfectly.
Then, about twenty minutes into the movie, Emily noticed two small figures sneaking into the theater and sitting several rows behind them.
She turned around and made direct eye contact with Colt and Tum Tum, who immediately ducked down behind their seats like that would somehow make them invisible.
"Rocky," Emily whispered, "your brothers are here."
Rocky turned around, saw his brothers, and his expression went through several stages of disbelief and rage before settling on resigned frustration. "I'm going to actually kill them this time."
"They're really committed to this," Emily said, trying not to laugh.
"I told them I'd put them in a headlock if they followed us. They specifically promised they wouldn't."
"I mean, we could just... ignore them?"
Rocky looked at Emily like she'd suggested something revolutionary. "Ignore them?"
"They're all the way back there. If we just watch the movie and don't react, they'll get bored."
"You don't know my brothers. They live for this."
Rocky hesitated, clearly torn between his dignity and the fact that they were on what was definitely a date. "No," he said finally. "No, we're staying. They're not going to ruin this."
"Ruin what?" Emily asked, because she couldn't help herself.
Rocky's face turned red even in the dim theater lighting. "You know. This. The movie. Us... watching the movie."
They sat in charged silence for a moment before Emily made a decision. If Rocky's brothers were going to be there anyway, and if Rocky was going to be too flustered to say what he was clearly trying to say, she was just going to have to do it herself.
"Rocky," she said quietly, "is this a date?"
Rocky looked at her with an expression that suggested he was trying to calculate the right answer to a very important question. "Do you... do you want it to be a date?"
"That's not how this works."
From several rows back, they could hear Colt whisper-yelling "Just say yes!" followed by Tum Tum's "Rocky, you're messing it up!"
Rocky closed his eyes like he was praying for patience. "Yes," he said finally, looking at Emily. "I want this to be a date. I wanted it to be a date when I asked you. I should have said it was a date but I got nervous and just said 'movie' like an idiot."
Emily felt her face break into a huge smile. "Okay. Then it's a date."
"Even with my brothers spying on us?"
"Especially with your brothers spying on us. At least now they'll have something accurate to tell everyone at school."
Rocky laughed, and some of the tension went out of his shoulders. "You're really okay with all the ninja stuff? And my insane family? And the fact that criminals keep trying to kidnap us?"
"I think it's kind of cool," Emily admitted. "Weird, but cool. Besides, how many people can say their boyfriend fights crime?"
"Boyfriend?" Rocky's voice cracked slightly on the word.
"Yes! Yes, definitely, boyfriend works."
From the back of the theater came the sound of Colt and Tum Tum trying and failing to contain their excitement, followed by an usher telling them to quiet down.
Emily and Rocky looked at each other and started laughing, and then Rocky did something that Emily had been hoping he would do for weeks—he reached over and held her hand.
His palm was slightly sweaty, probably from nerves, but Emily didn't care. They sat there holding hands in the middle of a movie theater while Rocky's ninja brothers spied on them from the back row, and Emily decided that even if this was the weirdest dating situation in the history of middle school, it was still pretty much perfect.
"For the record," Rocky whispered, "I'm definitely putting them both in headlocks when we get home."
"That seems fair," Emily whispered back.
They settled in to watch the rest of the movie, hands still linked, while in the back row, Colt and Tum Tum gave each other victorious high-fives and immediately started planning how to embarrass Rocky at school on Monday.
Being a ninja warrior, Rocky had told her once, required focus and discipline and years of training.
Being a ninja warrior's girlfriend, Emily was discovering, required patience, a sense of humor, and the ability to maintain composure while his younger brothers orchestrated elaborate spy operations during your dates.
But looking at Rocky's smile and the way he kept glancing at her like he couldn't quite believe this was actually happening, Emily decided she could definitely handle that.