Stinky Pants Studios

The biggest mental health issue we see when speaking with ABDL’s and littles is the shame/desire cycle with regard to wearing & using diapers. This is especially pronounced when they believe they’d be happier if in diapers all the time but have struggled to make it work.

Feelings of shame often are the catalyst which temporarily kills ABDL desires only for them to return stronger than ever a few hours or days later. This leaves your partner feeling both guilty about not committing to what they know would be good for them and guilty for having the desire to start with.

The good news is them having a supportive partner is the biggest advantage possible and you as their partner have the ability to transform their lives for the better.

Ask yourself if the following are true:

- They seem to be happier and/or less stressed & anxious when diapered

- They’re wearing diapers several times a week and often for multi-day periods

- They’re comfortable using them for #1 & #2

- They’ve worn in different public situations

- They’ve mentioned a desire to be 24/7 before

- They may have even tried 24/7 for a period before.

- You are comfortable with them wearing and using diapers

- You are willing to make some changes to your life if it makes them happier

- You are willing to be involved in their diaper wearing

- You can afford $200+ a month for their diaper supplies

If you answered yes to them all, using diaper discipline to “force” them into the situation they actually want can be extremely beneficial.

We have talked about many ways to use diaper discipline and although this may feel like one of the more extreme options it has proven to be very effective for couples we’ve spoken to and to us directly.

So what are we suggesting? Well in short, you return your partner to diapers full time and stop this negative cycle for good. Think of this more as an intervention than a discussion.

Yes this will be hard at first and there will be times they resist but I guarantee if you stick to it the positive results will speak for themselves.

For this approach I don’t recommend any half measures as this leads to gaps which can cause you and them to waiver and lead to the collapse of the benefits.

So if you’re willing and ready to take on some challenges to help your partner what should you do?

First decide a date from which this will start.

This should be 1-2 weeks away to give you time to prepare and the absolute ideal would be if they’re away for a day or two immediately prior to this date.

Second is to get yourself fully comfortable with the rules you’ll be setting out for them.

These are:

1. They will be diapered 24/7

2. The only exception to this is at work and with friends and family where they can wear pull ups but otherwise they’ll be in high absorbency medical or ABDL diapers.

3. When in diapers the toilet will be fully out of bounds, including at home, in public and on vacation.

4. They should now be treated as having bladder and bowel incontinence.

5. This isn’t a short term change and will likely be permanent.

Also decide on these three rules which we highly recommend but are optional:

- At home all checks and changes will be carried out by me.

- All diapers must be worn until full or have been messy for over an hour.

- At home diapers aren’t to be hidden and should be either be fully exposed or obvious through ABDL clothing.

Third, prepare for the change:

- Make sure you have a good stock of diapers for them.

- I’d recommend having around 200 in stock with a mix of high quality but thinner medical diapers (e.g. Tena Slip Ultima), thick medical diapers (e.g. Megamax) and ABDL themed diapers.

- Gather diaper changing essentials including adult sized wipes, powder, barrier cream, disposable gloves & disposable changing mats (bedwetting mats are perfect)

- To help things along get a stock of suppositories, mini-enemas, laxative tablets, fibre supplements and I’d also recommend devrom to be used to reduce smells.

- Buy some ABDL clothing essentials if they don’t already have them:

- A couple plain onesies to be used in public

- A couple of ABDL onesies for at home and nighttime

- A few ABDL outfits for use at home for example a romper, play dress & baby style tshirts

- Create a dedicated diaper changing room for them including at a minimum:

- A changing table. Ideally this would be built but a dedicated bed with a changing mat can work ok as well.

- A diaper pail (try buy a big one as otherwise you’ll be emptying it daily)

- Shelving / storage for their diapers and other supplies where they’re not hidden.

- A good air freshener or air purifier

- Having a full day or two to prepare can be extremely helpful if you can time it to be around them being out of the house

- This is optional but some light restraints can be fun and a big help, primarily:

- Wrist and ankle restraints on the changing table

- A locking diaper cover

- Padded mittens

- Straightjacketshop is our favorite for these

The big day

This day is going to change both of your lives for the better. Make sure you have everything ready for when they come home. In preparation also do the final step to commit to this and throw away all of their underwear.

Upon arriving home tell them you have a surprise for them leading them up to the diaper changing area. Help them strip down and importantly dispose of their underwear into the diaper pail before getting the to lie down on the changing table. Attaching the wrist restraints are a good idea at this stage if you’ve opted for them.

It’s likely they will actually be excited at this point with this development so don’t expect much resistance.

Diaper them into a thick ABDL diaper before telling them what you’ve decided. It’s best to give the background to your decision and focus on how you think this will be best for them and how you know deep down this is what they want.

Next, run through the rules slowly and a standout moment for me was reinforcing these to him by saying that this meant he’d be never using the toilet in our house again. This will be a lot to take in, and expect them try negotiate some changes to the rules but you should stay firm on all the major points.

Once they’ve calmed down from the excitement and nervousness of it all, dress them in ABDL clothes and try have the best possible evening. Cook their favorite meal, watch their favorite film, etc and keep them relaxed.

Likely more questions and worries will come up but you can normally handle these easily.

The question you will certainly get is “How long will this last for” and it’s important for both of you to accept that this isn’t a game or short term experiment but a permanent change. It’s very important you highlight this but you can provide a review period after a significant period of time.

I would recommend having a review after 6 months and decide if it should continue. 6 months is a good time period as it’s long enough to get through the initial challenges and far enough away to prevent them/you just waiting it out while not accepting the new reality.

First week

The first week is going to be a big adjustment as they realize you’re serious and you both get used to this new world.

As part of proving this isn’t a temporary thing get them to try on all their clothes while thickly diapered and get rid of all which no longer fit well. Follow this up with a shopping trip to replenish their wardrobe with clothing for public wear.

Make sure their diaper area is completely hair free, we find hair removal cream works wonders.

You should also use this week to ensure they know the rules are serious. I’d recommend using a suppository or laxative twice to ensure they fill their diaper and try make one of these be while around you.

Provide huge amounts of encouragement and praise all week. And reenforce that this is going to be great for them and you both.

Keep their diaper exposed at home or covered only by ABDL clothing, there should be no opportunity for them to not be wearing their diaper.

Finally try be as involved as possible in diaper checks and changes.

First month

With the first month try and get into the routine as much as possible and tick off different wearing and usage scenarios. Have meals out with them diapered, go on a day trip with a diaper bag packed, etc.

Continue to provide as much encouragement as possible and continue to check and change their diapers at home when you can.

You should also introduce daily fibre supplements for them as these are good for bowel health, can be used long term and although they will increase the volume of their bm’s it actually helps reduce the smell. Reducing red meats and fatty foods also helps keep the smell down.

This is also the perfect time to experiment with different diapers to see which are best for different scenarios. Try extending how long you keep them in the same diaper before changing to get familiar with their capacities. Expect several diaper leaks during this process and never punish them for these. A waterproof cover on your bed is a good idea.

Second month

Now you’re 30 days in you should be both used to the new situation and they should be now accepting this isn’t a short term change.

This month you should encourage them to begin diaper training and form a bedwetting habit. When diapered they shouldn’t be holding so check their diaper 30 minutes after a change and tell them off if it’s not already slightly wet.

Every night make sure they have 1-2 large glasses of water before bed and tell them you expect them to be wet in the morning. This process will take a few months but if you encourage them to relax and let go in bed and add punishments if you wake up in the morning and find them dry.

Finally you want them to become comfortable using their diaper fully even when out of the house. Have a day trip where they’ll be using their diapers a lot

Third month

This is the perfect time to go on a vacation together so if you’re able to, book a 1-2 week vacation. As they’ll not be around friends or family this whole period should be in diapers only from leaving your house to returning. When going through airport security a dry diaper is recommended to avoid setting off the scanners.

A vacation is a great time to get them even more comfortable with their diapers in public as they won’t be worried about meeting people they know. Experiment with them wearing thicker diapers than normal especially if you’re going on a longer day trip.

Also remember you should be treating them as if they’re fully incontinent so this means swim diapers are a must. If you have your own pool then I recommend using an ABDL swim diaper but also take a discreet adult swim diaper option for use in public.

A vacation is also the perfect time for you to take 100% control of their diapering. Even if you’re not doing this at home I’d recommend you doing all their diaper checks and changes for the whole period and make it clear they can’t ask for a change.

Do not make any exceptions for toilet usage and if you have a day where a messy accident would be very inconvenient use a suppository in the morning or some ducolax tablet the evening before to ensure they’re emptied out prior to the day’s activities.

Forth month

They’ll pass 100 days diapered this month so make sure to celebrate and congratulate them on the achievement.

You both might still be a bit shy about messy diapers at this stage and now is the right time to try change that. If you’ve noticed they hide away from you when messy tell them this and that messy diapers are normal and not something you expect to change your activities together.

If you’re not checking and changing all their diapers already at least start a rule that they must ask permission to change. When they ask, conduct a complete diaper check where it’s fully exposed and either pull back the rear waistband or use your hand on the back of the diaper to check for messy accidents. The other key thing is don’t always give permission, for example if it’s just messy and still has capacity tell them that it looks like it can hold more and to come back in an hour.

To help them get used to messing in your presence force the situation:

- Give them a suppository before settling down for a movie and don’t allow them to getup or change until it’s finished.

- Make them take 2 ducolax tablets in the evening which will result in them messing overnight.

- Use a suppository before a drive or trip to go shopping


Finally, they shouldn’t be associating a messy diaper with an instant change. It’s important that the state of their diaper doesn’t influence your activities too much. Once they’ve messed try continue your plans for an hour or two until there is a convenient time to change him / let him change. For example if he messes in the early evening, his change can wait until after you’ve eaten dinner together. Devrom and plastic pants really reduces the smell.

Fifth Month

Their diapered life will be feeling very normal now.

Now may be a good time to experiment with swapping out pull ups for thin diapers for work, friends & family. I’d recommend maybe a cloth backed option so they’re completely silent to build up their confidence. Make sure to give lots of reassurance that it is discrete.

Sixth Month

This is the review month so make sure to have a conversation about how they’re finding things. I’m sure you’ll both agree it’s been positive and will want to continue.

Avoid reducing the rules at all and I’d recommend now is the time to commit to them being diapered fully and phase out the pull ups completely.

I think it’s worth calling out to them that this means you’re committing them to diapers permanently. Now is a good time for you to increase your involvement to be checking and changing all their diapers at home.

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This post ended up longer than we expected but hopefully it’s will be useful to you as a partner of an ABDL. As always my DM’s are open and I’m happy to chat with anyone who is thinking about this for their partner and wants some advice.

We’ve talked quite extensively about the benefits in having your partner wear diapers 24/7 (or as close as possible) for their mental health and your relationship.

But getting to 24/7 or having diapers as their default underwear isn’t super easy especially in the first few weeks. Many people reading this will have tried 24/7 and managed a week or two before it fell apart or watched their partner say they want to try 24/7, start and then silently let it slip away a week or so in.

This is where you as a partner to a diaper wearer can make a critical difference and ensure it’s a success in the long term.

But first some hard truths about 24/7:

- It would sometimes be a lot easier for them to not wear a diaper

- It add extra planning and inconveniences to trips out of the house

- Sometimes things can get smelly or embarrassing

- Throwing on underwear would be quicker when they’re in a rush

- They will sometimes not want to wear a diaper or feel shame/regrets about the whole 24/7 idea

So how can you help?

Internalize the idea that they NEED to wear diapers and this is a PERMANENT thing.

If you’re hoping this is just a phase and don’t really want them to succeed in going 24/7 it most likely won’t but your relationship will likely suffer as a consequence.

Also try reset your expectation of them to being that they wear diapers all the time and they need them to avoid accidents.

Provide consistent encouragement, especially in the first month

It’s extremely likely they will be feeling worried & anxious about how you are finding them being 24/7 and will be plagued by all the fears they’d had growing up about having these desires.

Being silently ok with it isn’t enough and they’ll probably just assume you’re hating it & them. So make sure to provide encouragement to them for wearing and using their diapers.

There are several areas of encouragement to provide:

1. Acknowledge their diapers as being normal.
Tell them you’ve laid out a fresh diaper for them in the morning, ask if they’ve packed a diaper bag before leaving the house, ask if they need to order more diapers or if you should pick up more baby powder when shopping.


2. Provide praise for wearing diapers.
Tell them that diaper looks cute on them and that you’re glad they’re now wearing all the time. Check they’re wearing a diaper when they get into bed or when you leave the house and say something like good boy/girl for wearing it. If you see a public restroom or have to go yourself mention that they’re lucky they’re wearing their toilet (this makes my baby blush)


3. Provide praise for them using their diapers.
Talk about the state of their diaper in a positive way for example saying “I’m glad to see this diaper held all of your pee ok” or “remember you should just let go straight away now you’re in diapers”.

Messy diapers will likely cause them the most anxiety so be extra aware in those situations and don’t just ignore it. If you detect a messy diaper acknowledge it with something like “Is that a messy diaper I can smell” or “I think someone might need a change” it can be slightly embarrassing but just saying something shows that you’re not surprised or annoyed they’ve messed.

If you haven’t noticed a messy diaper in a day or two, ask them if they’ve need some help to use their diaper and tell them explicitly that you expect them to use it for everything. Administering a suppository to help force the issue can also be a great way to show you’re serious.


4. Assure them it is discreet.
A fear when wearing diapers 24/7 is other people noticing as often they’ll be wearing in public more than before. Provide simple assurances that their diapers are discreet and that even you struggle to tell.

Even an obvious diaper bulge to you would go unnoticed by the vast majority of people so a small white lie to give them confidence will help a lot even if you can just see the outline of it. Interestingly the more confident they are the less likely others will notice as they wont be touching their bum etc out of fear it might be noticeable.


5. Make it clear this is permanent 
Them wearing diapers 24/7 is now the new normal and you should make sure they know you’ve accepted and expect that.
Talk about diapered plans far into the future, for example if you have a vacation coming up in a few months mention that you’ll need to make sure to order enough to last or discuss if shipping diapers to the hotel is the best option.

Start discussions with confirmation of this reality, e.g. “Now that you’re going to be in diapers for the rest of your life…
…maybe we should convert the guest room into a changing area”
…lets look into laser hair removal for your groin”
…we should order diapers in bulk”
…I’m going to throw away your old underwear”

Tell them things like “It’s funny to think you’ll never use the toilet in the house again” or “I’ve got used to the fact you’re now always going to be in a diaper”, or “I wonder how long it will be before you lose control at night and in the daytime”

You’ll like notice a positive improvement so assure them you’re happy they’re now 24/7:
“Things have been better now your always in diapers so I’m glad this is permanent”
“I can’t imagine you without diapers now “
“I’m keeping you in diapers from now on, I hope you know that”

Be prepared to “force” them to wear

I can almost guarantee that one day you’ll see them putting on underwear instead of a diaper or realize they’re not diapered when they should be.

Do not be silent. Tell them in no uncertain terms that they need to be wearing a diaper and to get changed immediately, ideally take them and diaper them yourself.

Equally something might come up where they ask if they can not wear a diaper. Maybe you’re going out for the day or some other activity where diaper wearing will be more inconvenient. Push back heavily on this unless it was a pre-agreed exception and tell them no, they must be wearing a diaper.

The other high risk time is post orgasm especially in male partners. The low following this is prime for feelings of shame and regret, so even if they don’t say anything make sure to put them straight back into a diaper and provide positive encouragement about their diaper wearing.

Be prepared for challenges

While you’re both getting used to the new reality of 24/7 it’s very likely some things might go wrong.

Their diaper will probably leak at some point onto clothes or furniture, try laugh these off and learn from them.

Their messy diaper might cause you to react instinctively in a way they perceive as disgust and cause them to feel ashamed. Counter this quickly by apologising and assuring them you do want them to use their diaper for everything.

They might forget to bring a spare diaper with them on a day trip and need to change. Ideally you should approach a problem like this with the mindset that they need diapers so just changing out of it isn’t an option. Go into a drugstore with them and buy some more diapers to wear as a temporary measure, the embarrassment of this will likely help you both make sure a diaper bag is always with you.

Normalize diaper wearing in your house

Now they’re diapered 24/7 and the expectation is they need diapers and use them, it shouldn’t feel hidden or secret.

A dedicated changing area should be setup with lots of diapers and changing supplies on display. Invest in a diaper pail / genie to make disposal easier. Hang up their ABDL clothes in this room. Empty their underwear draw and replace with diapers.

A spare bedroom can often be converted for this purpose. Design it in a way so the room can be locked or items easily hidden if you have guests.

Buy a diaper bag and have it packed and ready to use for any trips out. This can be a real diaper bag but for more discretion a small backpack can be used, ideally buy one that’s more juvenile than a plain black one.

Add a mattress protector to your bed to protect against inevitable leaks.

Convert their wardrobe to suit their diapered status

Early on after making the switch hold a fashion show where they try on their clothes while wearing a thick or wet diaper. Anything that doesn’t hide their diaper well put to one side to go to goodwill.

Next go shopping while they’re thickly diapered to find new clothes which work well. General rules are darker & loose fitting bottoms hide diapers well and dresses and skirts are great for women. Overalls can be super cute and combined with onesies for discrete abdl wear. Longer tops can help hide the extra padding around their bum.

It also might be worth expanding your ABDL clothing for use at home so they have a full wardrobe of options to wear daily.

Get involved

The best way to show your support is to get as involved as possible in their diaper wearing.

Ideally try take control of their checks and changes when you’re around. If you’re uncomfortable with messy changes that’s ok (but honestly they can be the most intimate and positive events if you’re willing to try).

Pick out diapers for them to wear if say you’re not around to change them into a fresh diaper in the morning. Browse and buy new diapers for them. When shopping add diaper/baby supplies without comment such as powder, rash cream or more ABDL items like a kids no spill cup or a cute teddy.

(Side note of one of the things I did which made my partner incredibly happy was coming home from a normal grocery shop with a toddler plate and cutlery set and telling him I thought they would be cute for him. Later he told me this made him feel so accepted and loved 🥰)

Pack a diaper bag for day trips or help him pack enough diapers and supplies for a vacation. Try make this as matter of fact as possible, “Do you think these diapers will be the best for daytime”, “Have you packed your swim diaper”, etc.

Be involved in dressing them with a view to not hiding their diapered state at home. At night especially they should always be in ABDL attire which makes it obvious they’re diapered and in the daytime where possible too.

I do believe that most 24/7 diaper wearing should be combined with ABDL activities as well. At a minimum use ABDL diapers and clothing with pacifiers and bottles used where possible. But definitely experiment with things like crawling, bibs at meals, holding a bottle for them and feeding them. Baby talk can also be a lot of fun to tease them with.

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