My friends make me laugh @talkingtomyfriends - Tumblr Blog

I'll be back in a second. By a second I mean 10 minutes.

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You’re not fat, you’re distributed

One of my colleagues..

#quotes #fat #jokes #work friends

I could spend forever in your eyes, I could spend forever here tonight, and even if you never care for me, I will cherish every memory

Spencer Schmidt - Bittersweet

#quotes #songs I like

Elliott Erwitt

#quotes #photography #observation

Sometimes music can make you want to close your eyes and drift away

Me.

#music #quotes #personal #takemeawayfromhere

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I'd rather die of mercury poisoning than a ruptured anus

A friend when asked "if you had to choose between.."

#choices

I didn't know slow-worms were lizards

A friend

#slow-worm #lizards #sillyness

Is a leech a worm?

Some silly girl I overheard

#leech #worm #education

Brighton pie...where they're cutting costs everywhere, including on lettering

#brighton pie #brighton pier #spelling #cost saving

The sign for both sexes.

#bathroom humour #funny signs #male and female

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Terrorism and herpes

One of my friends had to go through a terrorism check to ensure he didn't have ties to any terrorist organisations...alongside a medical exam. He replies with

Hopefully they won't find out I gave a terrorist herpes.

#jokes in bad taste #terrorism jokes #herpes #medical exam

Marking territory

On leaving a hickey on my neck, I ask if she's actually just marking her territory...

Oh I did. It's like calling dibs or something.

Genuinley made me giggle.

#love bites #hickey #marking territory #kissing

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My friends make me laugh