tales of a thirty something nothing.

take me anywhere

he saw me settle into adulthood through my 20s and mid 30s

he was an anchor and showed me what pure, selfless love is

but most of all, he was my best friend.

my heart broke into so many pieces the day he left

and those pieces are still mismatched and scattered.

but despite his death,

I've learned so much about myself

I've taken chances I never would've before

I'm leaning on my friends and family

I'm learning and creating art to help fill the mountain of a gap that he left.

I'm putting in the work to be the best person that I can be

more so than ever in my life

I don't know what that really means

it's a strange dichotomy.

I celebrated him with McDonald's chicken nuggets, fries, and Andy's custard

and reminisced about his sassiness, but how much he loved his people.

Ryder, I miss you more than everything I am.

you're my favorite thing I've ever done.

I miss you forever.

where I'm justifying large expenses

(concert tickets, trips, etc.)

because my dog died a year ago around this time.