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ur twenties are weird. i have the priorities of a kindergartener again. i don’t know what in the hell is going on EVER. i like colors. i like soup. i want to take a nap

WHY DO GUYS ALWAYS FREEK OUT WHEN I ASK THEM TO SPIT IN MY MOUTH? NEED A REAL KING THAT CAN HANLDE

I have never seen anything more accurate in my life

I remember in my high school junior year psych class, my teacher explained to us if you drew the sun like that, then you had an absent father figure. Crazy.

I came out for a good time and honestly I feel so attacked right now

oOF

Shut the fuck up I hate this

is this true cause like…mood

IS THAT TRUE BITCH WAAAAAAIT A MINUTE

Oh GOD this explains literally everything

I have been called out

I REBUKE

bruh how many baby mamas does goofy have

and miss marpole…goofy really just has a surplus of ass to clap in huh

How the fuck did goofy swim in so much pussy and how did we never realize this before now

Goofy “Pussy Destroyer” Goof

Goofy been throwing dick around like a Gatling gun

Issa metaphor for how all y’all hoes be fucking wit one goofy ass nigga

This entire post was hilarious

Posts like these are why i have a tumblr

If you have $1,000 in cash and spend 1 penny, that’s the equivalent of Jeff Bezos spending $1.5 million

having a permanent full time job is you thinking to yourself “so this is really the rest of my life huh” as you come home every single day before using your 4 hours of recreational activity to do nothing and then going to bed

just wanna sit on his lap and feel him get hard

Leave the mall santas alone