Noah Kahan
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@tailor-with-drawers

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”…well then. I guess I’m just. Here. Now.”
“Cheese and crackers.”
yeah, he's gone, he's tired. so have fun in the kingdom!!
”As if I’m not equally as disappointed in you.”
He bursts out laughing, beaching the boat and walking onshore.
thank you, come back tomorrow.
he says as he walks off.
”Wh- I’m not going to fight your dragons?? They’re not going to track me, I won’t attack them.”
hmmmmmmmm no, you have pissed me off enough for one day.
he gets off the boat.
”No, no, I’m curious, what do you consider dragons here?”
oh my fucking god, no I don't think I trust you around my dragons.
half of them are hibernating anyways.

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”It is TOO COLD OUT FOR THIS WE ARE GOING INSIDE.”
I am going to leave you to do whatever I don't care. im going to go take care of my dragons.
”Great, amazing, I still don’t know what dnd is and i don’t care what you can do here because that has nothing to do with the Lindwyrm from ANTIQUITY!”
IT DOESNT MATTER WHERER ITS FROM IS A FUCKING DRAGON AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL!!
”Look, all I’m saying is that maybe, just maybe, I’m a tad more knowledgeable about antiquity than the guy who hasn’t stepped foot in antiquity.”
He spreads his hands and smirks, though it’s lighthearted.
this had nothing to do with antiquity??? this had everything to do with proper mythology. I have played dnd since I was 12 and I AM A FUCKING DRAGON MASTER!!
”Be a little charitable, he did bring me all the way out here out of kindness.”
well yeah.......but he is kinda annoying to be fair. mostly because we have been arguing about dragons for 30 minutes and he doesn't even know what dnd even is.
”What??”
“You know, I’m really not surprised.”
and you've been stuck with this guy???

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”What’s D&D?”
Oh....
That explains alot about your knowledge of mythology actually.
“I feel like I’d DESPISE playing board games with him. Which means your kingdom absolutely needs to start a board game night now.”
what board game?
certainly not dnd right?
”Do those dragons have four legs or-“
“SHUT! UP! WE’RE GOING NOW.”
.....
i want to kill this guy.
”Well-“
“Shut it both of you before I throw you overboard.”
i will have my dragons help me if you do!
“Then call them both reptiles but not iguanas.”
“WE’RE HERE.”
dragons is a broad term, multiple things fall under the category or dragon. wyrms are a type of serpent dragon.
look i would be happy to refer you to my boyfriend about this topic, but you are wrong and i hope you realize that.

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”No, they’re used the same term for two different things. I mean, would you call a snake an iguana?”
no but I would call them both reptiles.
”Nope, they’re more closely related to sea serpents.”
no they are serpentine dragons, the term wyrm was used for any snake like creature including dragons.