Mystrich

the duplicitous and scheming radical left tricked me into eating too much rice and now my tummy hurts

angel with pronouns be like "he/hymn"

the alternative girl with pathetic boyfriend thing has to end

Hi, I run a small Etsy business selling replica Scott Pilgrim cosplay items. You’re personally hurting my livelihood by saying this. Think about the effect your words have on others.

take your carriage very slowly by your rival’s home, that she might see your latest hat

Eat your heart Catherine, you toad-eating hag.

Elizabeth, you must surely be aware that I am unable to view the roads from my apartments due to the vastness of my estate…

Oh, please do forgive my mistake, Catherine, I had only assumed you could see from that ostentatiously high pedestal atop of which you have placed yourself

We are working on developing impenetrable body armor making the user completely unkillable, but the materials are so expensive we are only making child sizes that way we can make kids fight in war without any serious ethical implications.