Today I was so tired I connected one half of my hoodie’s zipper to the other half of my jacket’s and wondered why it wouldn’t zip up
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Today I was so tired I connected one half of my hoodie’s zipper to the other half of my jacket’s and wondered why it wouldn’t zip up

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So, I bought some riding pants back in, like, February. They are up with the best pair of pants I've worn. The kevlar-woven lining that goes from the knees to the waist keeps me warm on the cool days (though it is a bit hot in the afternoon), they fit wonderfully, and the pads in the knees don't show too bad. There is one glaring problem with them though. The fucking zipper won't stay up. Like holy shit, I don't want to have to do what Ed Roland did when I saw Collective Soul last year and duct tape the fucker up. That looks trashy as shit, but at this point, it's either pull the shit up every 30-45 minutes or taping it. Shits annoying as fuck, yo.
Crap... help?
I just got Belle's new shoes in the mail and I broke them first thing trying to get them to zip up on his gigantic feet. Pulled the zipper thing right off. I can get it back on easily, but it no longer zips. Anyone know how to fix it?
There is no good way to tell someone their pants zipper is down. Because no matter what you are really saying is, "So I couldn't help noticing your crotch..."

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Tip - Troublesome Zippers
"Release a stubborn zipper by lightly rubbing a candle along the teeth on both sides to smooth the way."
I just read this tip from Real Simple's site. And here's something, they're a magazine as well! Okay, none of you are gonna agree with the placement of that last exclamation point, but it's warranted. WARRANTED. 'Cause that's amazing! That site's the best, so I'm definitely adding that subscription to my Wishpot. Such good ideas in that guy.