#zesty zed

Conagher brothers ‼️‼️

When he was first walking in, expecting to just find Maynard messing around, he was in his usual state of dismissive authority. Walking tall, talking loud and without much thought, everything in his posture was casual albeit annoyed.

But the second that he saw the wrangler in Fritz’s hands, everything was dropped. Zed immediately froze, losing his sentence as he realized that things were serious, and that if Fritz were standing right here in front of him, Maynard was likely gone.

We know that Zed is an incredibly persuasive man; he is constantly manipulating Maynard and controlling his decisions, and Zed is used to getting his way and being in charge. But all of that seems to change when it actually matters, when he’s under any genuine pressure.

Zed didn’t know what to say, he was caught off guard. When he first speaks, his voice is lighter and hesitant; saying “Now that ain’t a toy son, put it down” to a grown ass man with your own weapon pointed at you, is not gonna work.

But he tries his best to fake that usual confidence again, he adjusts his posture, AND STEPS ON THE CIGARETTE AGAIN!!!

Just like when he was showing Jeremy that he was in charge, Zed dropped his cigarette to the floor and pressed it out. This was obviously intentional, it’s his way of showing authority, of reminding both himself and everyone in the room, that he is the one making the decisions.

After the action, he had brought back his voice and was ready to shoot back. Or, so it seemed. Now we get to the actual moment that brought him down.

Zed is incredibly particular about his tools (although we don’t have any evidence of it, I feel like we can all agree, he certainly wouldn’t let Maynard use his shit), and is shown to be fairly intelligent. If he were as collected as usual, he would have grabbed the gun. When people get scared, they are so much more likely to make mistakes, even when it really matters.

He knew this. He knew that it was his own fault. I like to think that’s why Zed laughed; not because he grabbed the drill, or anything about how he had failed, or even just the circumstance.

He laughed because he had been scared.

This blog will have mostly daily posts featuring characters at the Conagher Slaughterhouse in the movie Emesis Blue. All of the days will be pre-canon (for obvious reasons), and feature Emesis Blue characters such as: Maynard Conagher, Zed Conagher, Cyclops, the Butcher, the Hunter, and the Surgeon. 

I’ll have a paragraph or two about something interesting that happened to a character or two during their day, and the days are very loosely connected to our current today (I’ll have snowy weather in the winter, but not much more than that). But I might do holiday themed days if I remember!

Due to little canon material about each individual character, I will have my own headcanons to fill in the unknown details. If you don’t want to see these headcanons, you can block this blog. If you have any general questions, send in an ask! If you have a question about a specific day, please comment or reblog on that post! My main blog (@roshancampbell) typically answers asks about the Conagher brothers if you’re asking about them, but you can send any kind of ask to either blog!

Under the cut are some links to posts that might help you understand the context and characters a little better, if you’d like.

They were growing up in the late 30s / early 40s, so times were a lot different with the Great Depression and WWII.

Despite the drastic economic decline, the Conaghers weren’t too awfully affected. The prices of meat and other farm goods had risen dramatically, and they easily sold to those in the city.

While the city folk rushed to grab new fake trees (due to the lack of manpower and shipping throughout the country, real Christmas trees were harder to get a hold of), the twins and their father just chopped a tree on their property. Maynard and Zed enjoyed getting to do all of the work themselves, for themselves. It was a rewarding task, and they always got to pick a tree that was just right. However, another thing that became popular in wartimes was homemade ornaments; magazines and newspapers often printed patterns for families to cut out and made into paper ornaments.

The twins collected pinecones and sticks and whatever else was lying around in the woods surrounding their property, instead of decorating with paper ornaments. (Mostly because Fred was an ass and didn’t want to go to town for them) While the decorations didn’t look professional or fancy, it was all their own.

Dell, who lived in the city with his mother, preferred to spend Christmas with his brothers since they had a real tree and everything! Of course, he would go back home in time for presents, but the feeling of Christmas was on the farm.

ft. Zed’s lower pants

He has such a specific pattern of speech, everyone he talks to is different. With Maynard, Zed ends or starts all of his sentences with “brother” or “dumbass” or something of the like. With Jeremy, he constantly refers to him as “boy” (which is OUGHHH MY HEART). Then, even with Fritz, Zed calls him “son”.

AND WITH HIS VOICE ITS SO AHHHHH

But how would he refer to a woman? Or anyone else for that matter? Zed never calls any two people by the same name or title, and with women (especially in the 60s), there are so many condescending pet names he’d definitely use. And we know that he isn’t fond of women in the first place (referring to my post about the Conaghers and romance).

“You look lost, darlin.” “That damn dame!” “Now angel, I need ya to listen here.” But all in the most misogynistic and patronizing way, he absolutely hates women.

I ain't going to no potluck with them involved 😭

Maynard wouldn't realize he had to bring anything until Zed reminded him, and his first thought would be chips or pretzels. But then Zed would argue he was already doing that (see below) and Maynard would have to pick something else. So he'd pick something up at the store along the way, probably a microwave meal. Maynard would pick out one or two of the cheapest mac and cheese ones, and call it good enough, thinking that whoever wanted it could warm it up at the potluck.

Zed would bring chips, like the asshole that he is. Not multiple kinds or homemade, just a single bag of chips randomly picked at the store. It's probably some strange spicy flavor that no one really likes, and the bag remains unopened through the entire event.

The Butcher, of course, is bringing human meat disguised into something that looks surprisingly well made. I like to think that they are an excellent cook, but no one ever wants their food either because A) "They're a fucking psycho" "I don't trust them" or B) All of the meat in their cooking is 100% human. Despite that, the food is delicious. They'd probably bring a potato and "pork" roast, or a wonderful stew. Only one or two people would try to eat their cooking.

The Hunter, despite being uninterested and a little rough, is also an okay cook. He doesn't have much experience, but he also doesn't trust any of the others to bring something worth eating. So the Hunter took it upon himself to make lamb ribs. They ended up overcooked, and a little tough to eat, but still edible and probably the best option. He is one of the first guests to arrive, but definitely reserved and not too social.

The Surgeon is a busy man, working by himself to find an alternative to the Respawn Machine. He doesn't have time for a dinner party, much less to cook something for it! He buys a cheeseboard, doesn't care to look for the best or cheapest option, just the first one he sees. The Surgeon drops it off at the table with a note stating he's "sorry" he can't attend, and steals one of the microwave meals, making sure to avoid everyone on his way out.

Cyclops probably wouldn't be invited to the Slaughterhouse dinner party lol, assuming there even would be one in the first place. But he'd definitely bring the drinks, and some rolls or simple appetizers (this man is not showing up empty handed, he’s great at potlucks). He'd be one of the last to show up and possibly drunk before the potluck starts, however, the fact that he brought enough drinks for everyone would be appreciated.

If you're wondering why Stalingrad or someone else isn't included, all of my Slaughterhouse stuff is pre Emesis Blue events, for reasons you can imagine (they're all dead after canon). But I can also answer for individual characters too.

Zed

Has a very negative view on romance after his own experiences, and realizing that all it would do to his brothers is just take them away. (All three of them have attachment issues goddamn)

Being part of the legacy of Conaghers, he has considered the concept of a family, but Zed is smart enough to know none of that is for him, and said “eh Dell will figure it out or something”

He has erectile dysfunction but blamed it on all of his girlfriends so he killed them (mostly because he’s sadistic but also because he got embarrassed and that doesn’t ever happen to him, so he didn’t know how to deal with it)

PDA? Hell no. Fancy dates? Absolutely not. He is the least romantic person, wouldn’t take any woman on a decent date unless it somehow benefited him.

Maynard 

Doesn’t know shit about romance or sex, never really cared or paid attention

I feel like once separated from Zed, he wouldn’t be difficult to get a date with. Maynard isn’t used to being treated as an equal, much less someone of independent value.

Steals clothes,, not in a cute way, just has no concept of what clothes are his which are someone else’s.

If he ever did get interested in anyone, Zed would immediately shut it down. He would go on to list all the possible reasons it could go horribly wrong, and why no one would ever actually want Maynard, so obviously any woman (or man) interested in him is just a trap.

^ Of course, Maynard would believe Zed, and it wouldn’t go anywhere.

Dell

Despite being well suited to social life and aware of what is right and wrong, he wouldn’t be able to identify a manipulative partner. After being put down and told that his needs were always second to his brothers, he sort of had the fight beaten out of him. He’d easily fall back into that mindset with someone else

Has learned not to bring anyone near his brothers after hearing about Zed’s dates

Very romantic, loves women and just meeting people in general. Skilled at flirting after being a bartender for so long

He has also considered that the rest of the family is expecting an heir from one of them, but doesn’t think that he’s important enough (being the youngest and with little to say in terms of inheritance) to have anything expected from him