If/when this site finally dies it’s slow heat death, I’ll probs post a bunch of fic all at once on ao3 intermittently until another suitable webbed site is found so uhhhh
Just so y’all know the one I’ve finally mostly plotted out & am determined to start posting is that old Zeelina fic, so if anyone wants to help me out as a beta/soundboard for it lmk 👀
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That Catanna was wonderful, truly thank you. How about the trope as old as time: Fake Dating?
listen i KNOW i said i would totally work on that Catanna fic a bit more full time and i WILL eventually but for NOW plz enjoy this bc i think i figured out how im gonna end it at least fjkdls;a
…
She hated everything about this plan. She hated the sloppy way her tie had been tied, all too quick when they were running short on time. She hated the itch on her scalp, the barest tingle of a glamour spell keeping her black curls in a tight bun and curious gazes from staring too long. She hated the wandering eyes and whispered tones, a constant reminder that they were in enemy territory.
But more than any of that, she loathed the woman who held onto her arm as they made their way through the crowd.
“Remember to smile, darling,” Selina chided, a self-satisfied smirk gracing her own lips, “We’re having a ball.”
Zatanna’s frown turned into an outright grimace.
“We’re on a job-”
“Oh honey, this isn’t work,” she snickered, “This is pure pleasure.”
Her eyes roamed appreciatively over the magician’s form, smiling as they met again.
“Though, I suppose that pleasure is purely mine.”
She turned away from the thief on her arm, taking in the people around them instead, straining to smooth out her scowl into a neutral expression.
Their outfits guaranteed their anonymity. Selina, dressed in a simple, muted violet number, would keep any wandering eyes on her and away from the Leaguer whose arm she held. Zatanna’s usual corset and fishnets were replaced with a slimming vest and freshly pressed slacks.
Tonight she was no longer a magician or a hero. Tonight she was simply another business mogul, a woman with too much time on her hands and money in her bank.
And tonight she was going to buy back a few priceless paintings, and set more than a few federal investigations into full motion.
But first she’d have to survive an evening with the thief who stole many of those same works of art in the first place.
“Ready to do a little reckless spending, darling?” Selina hummed, her hand trailing down Zatanna’s arm until she had the magician’s in a vice grip.
She took the lead now, laughing as she led her date away from the hall. They bobbed and weaved through ever more intimate viewing galleries, Selina occasionally pointing out a prominent member of Gotham’s underworld or art that she ‘had an eye on’ or ‘almost liberated’. Despite the attitude she normally carried, it never came across as a gloat. An anecdote waiting to be shared, but not something she took actual pleasure in.
Heaven forbid a thief take pride in her work. It was a matter of fact, not feelings. And it was something that surprised Zatanna.
As they stood before an impressionist painting, in a particularly small viewing room, Selina took a moment to slide closer to the hero, tilting her head to whisper in Zatanna’s ear.
“Don’t look now, but Angelo Beretti and his entourage are in the room.”
Zatanna stiffened at the name, one of the heads of Gotham’s Five Families. If he or any of his men recognized them, everything could come to a grinding halt.
Or worse yet, they could find themselves in serious trouble.
“I need you to relax, now,” Selina chided, gripping the magician’s arm with renewed force, “Now laugh after I point, like I’m saying something just slightly amusing, but not too funny. And follow my lead.”
The thief leaned her head against Zatanna’s shoulder in an intimate gesture, pointing off to the corner of the painting and digging her nails into the magician’s arm for missing the cue.
She forced a quick laugh, turning her own head to whisper back for Selina’s benefit.
“Is that relaxed enough, darling?”
“Hmm, almost,” Selina smiled, lifting her head and kissing the magician all in one swift movement.
Zatanna felt her shoulders tense of their own accord, quick to recover as she tilted fully into the chaste kiss. Her eyes fluttered open as Selina pulled away, and she felt her face redden as realization struck.
“You’re completely fucking with me, aren’t you?”
“Oh, absolutely,” she laughed, “But we did pass by Beretti three rooms ago.”
Consider: Selina and Zatanna getting drunk-Vegas Married (& ofc getting it annulled) but joking at every opportunity that Selina tried to take Zee’s tiger in the “divorce”
we REALLY dont appreciate them enough smh... REALLY gotta start rectifying that my damn self huh?
…
The thing that most people fail to realize about cats and rabbits, is that they usually are naturally social and cuddly creatures.
When it’s on their own terms, of course.
This was something that annoyed Selina to no end. Just when she was ready to broaden their length of PDA, or when she simply craved casual physical touch, Zatanna seemed to find endless ways to spurn her.
Whether it was pulling away all too soon from an embrace, or sitting just far enough apart as to be maddening, there seemed to always be some new torture that the magician found to inflict upon her when she most desired that unspoken intimacy. Selina would often sit and play through the week’s conversations, looking for signs of trouble or possible faux pas committed. She came up frustratingly empty every time.
They currently sat in Selina’s apartment, Isis between them as they sat on opposite ends of the couch, each of their legs carefully placed so as not to cross over the other’s. Selina was ostensibly reading, stealing glances of the magician after every couple of pages, slumping further down against where she leaned upon the back of the sofa. And as if catching on to the thief’s ever souring mood, her cat had begun inching further away from her, snuggling closer against Zatanna’s legs instead.
The stage magician sat more centered on the couch, one leg spread across the cushions with the other dangling dangerously over the side. With her phone in hand, Selina guessed that she must be either scrolling through social media or texting with a friend. The passing thought of the second didn’t make her nearly as jealous as when she caught the Justice Leaguer reaching idly with one hand to scratch between Isis’ ears. No, that would be the final straw.
Selina snapped her book shut and mumbled an excuse about making tea, carefully backwards somersaulting off of the couch before making her way to the kitchen.
She didn’t catch Zatanna’s subsequent eye roll, but she did hear the magician apologizing quietly to Isis as she stood up from the couch to follow Selina.
“At the risk of sounding hypocritical, that was a rather dramatic exit there,” the magician chuckled. She leaned against the doorway, staying all-too-distant at the threshold instead of entering the room fully.
Selina stayed silent. Fuming, but less than willing to share it. Not just yet.
She busied herself with selecting just the right tea and searching cabinet after cabinet for the kettle. This time when she turned to the stove she caught Zatanna’s eye roll, just as the magician opened her mouth once more.
“You’re going to need to use your words, kitten. Much as I wish, mind-reading isn’t one of my powers.”
The thief threw up a hand in the air, the kettle clattering against the stovetop as she slammed it down with the other. She gestured for a moment, her hand waving between them as she failed to find the words.
Zatanna bit back a smile at the gesturing, and Selina finally landed on a question.
“Was there something I did?” she glared, a tinge of glee when the smile slid from the magician’s face at the sound of her tone, “Because you’ve been avoiding me-”
“We were just-!” Zatanna made one big sweeping motion with her arm, pointing back to the couch as she stared incredulously back. “-Literally! Just now!”
“That’s not what I mean!” she groaned, turning away to focus on the kettle once more. She settled for a low flame, watching from her periphery as Zatanna finally crossed the threshold to stand just shy of the counter now.
“Then what is this really about?” she asked, “Because I’m certainly not the one mad about anything right now. So it must somehow be something I did.”
“It’s… what you’re not doing,” Selina sighed.
“And that is-?”
“You don’t cuddle!”
The magician was taken aback, blinking a few times in order to smooth her expression.
“I thought you didn’t want to cuddle…” she admitted quietly.
Selina began running both her hands through her hair, half-heartedly laughing and shaking her head.
“You’re kidding.”
When the magician shook her head in denial, she let another roll of laughter loose, turning back to check the kettle as steam began to rise from it.
“Un-fucking-believable.”
“Selina-”
“We could have been cuddling this entire damn time!?”
The frustration she felt began to quiet as she felt Zatanna’s arms snaking around her waist, the younger woman’s cheek pressed into her neck as she whispered in her ear.
“Come cuddle with me,” she smiled, pressing a firm kiss along the hollow of the thief’s neck, “I’ll make it up to you.”
Much as Selina hated to admit it, it made her heart absolutely melt.
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Happy (late) Birthday, Tee!!! (@dykehelenabertinelli) i think we’re BOTH been itching for some Catanna w/out realizing it. not absolutely sure if I want this to be part of Catwalk Caper yet, but I hope its an intriguing enough start for you! its more about the Tension with these two after all lmao LOVE YA DUDE
...
Over the low din of conversation and laughter, Selina chuckled idly to herself as she spotted the magician in the crowd. Spying her at the end of the outdoor bar in a strappy, flowing gown and with heels perched carelessly on the stool underneath her, Selina made quick work, darting through the throng of CEOs and models. A beeline straight to her chosen prey.
Whether it was a black-tie charity gala or semi-formal networking events, Zatanna always found a way to stand apart from the average guest. Her inky black dress was iridescent in the sunset, the material catching the star’s fading rays, holding them in place as the light fled. Selina had a sneaking suspicion the fabric had a little supernatural help in order to achieve such an effect.
“Color me surprised,” she all but purred, passing a champagne flute from the bartender along to the illusionist. “I don’t recall seeing that little number in Milan last fall.”
Zatanna eyed the thief, subtle surprise betrayed in her eyes, but did not speak as she merely nodded at the greeting. She took the smallest of sips from the glass, eyes darting as if taking mental inventory of the fastest possible escape routes.
They were all ones Selina had already planned for. She smiled at the thought, a step ahead of the game. Just how she preferred it.
“You suit it,” she pressed, holding her glass up to clink against the one she just handed off. “I’m glad to see at least one other girl here has some sense of style-”
Just as she began a grand gesture to her own backless dress, the magician interrupted.
“If you have a point to make, Selina, I suggest you make it,” she glared, setting the drink back onto the bartop, adjusting herself to fully face the thief. “I’m not feeling very sociable this evening.”
“Oh, Zee-Zee, you’re not still mad at me for the museum, are you?” she sang, her lips forming a mocking pout before laughing outright.
She set a hand on Zatanna’s shoulder, the illusionist quick to shrug off the touch. She lowered her hand to the chair instead. An idea forming in her head as something caught in her periphery.
“It wasn’t like they really missed those paintings… much.”
Zatanna turned, as if to tactically ignore Selina’s jabs. Her teeth grit together as she spoke.
“You’ve got ten minutes before-”
“Before what? You call a manager about a cat problem?” she scoffed, “I’ll have you know, I’ve yet to cause any trouble-”
“All you are is trouble,” the magician said, giving a derisive snort. “A troubled kid, a troubled teen-” She turned back to the thief, eyes glancing quickly down and then back up into Selina’s, “-and now a troubled woman.”
“Well, as they say, consistency is key-”
“Your point, Selina,” she reminded, finishing her champagne and pulling up her purse. Selina finally pulled her own hand away. “You’ve got one minute, now.”
“My point, Zee-Zee, is that you don’t know me as well as you think. After all, if you did-” She held up the magician’s credit card then, “-you’d know better, to keep an eye on these types of things around me.”
And though she loathed to miss the flash of anger in the illusionist’s eyes, she turned at the first hint of surprise that began to register on her face, laughing as she weaved expertly through the crowd once again.
The courtyard provided many exits, but the hotel itself was her only hope for privacy.
A quick costume change, a meandering sprint to a getaway vehicle that awaited her half a block from the party. Petty pickpocketing and pawning had been her original plan for the evening, until this tantalizing turn had presented itself.
She only hoped now that the magician would fall for the bait.
…
When she arrived back at her apartment, after setting out food at Isis’ insistence and changing back into more comfortable loungewear for the evening, she found herself brooding over the card in her hand. Playing over their conversation in her head, she began second-guessing some of those jabs.
What was too harsh? What was well-deserved? She should’ve been a lot harder on the woman...
She flipped it over a few times, numbers and words all blurring together until-
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
Zatanna’s credit card flashed right into a playing card before her eyes. The Queen of Diamonds.
“Normally I make it a Jack, for anyone foolhardy enough to, well, jack my card. But I thought you’d appreciate a Queen more.”
“Breaking and entering is a crime,” Selina called almost lazily over her shoulder, “I’m intimately familiar with what you’ll be pressed w-”
“EZEERF.”
Mid-flip, she found her muscles stopping of their own accord, the card falling without so much a flutter. Everything in her was screaming to jump up from the couch, to face the magician and start tearing into her. It was all she could do to send a glare her way as she came into view.
“You changed,” she gritted out, almost smiling.
After all, she was hostage to a conversation with one of her least favorite heroes. Perhaps her nine lives had finally run out. This certainly could qualify as a hell of sorts.
“This?”
Zatanna glanced down at her slacks and dress shirt, accented with a deep blue vest. She began undoing the matching bowtie, shrugging as she draped herself along an armchair opposite of the thief.
“This is what I wear on business. And our business…”
She tossed the tie down on the floor, resting her head against her hand as she leaned against the armrest. The whole movement, graceful and confident, sent Selina’s heart into irregular rhythm, angering her all the more.
“To say the least, it’s been unfinished far too long for my tastes.”
