#zarathuse

yours is a bitterness i share SO DEEPLY. FOREVER MAD ABOUT IT.

Here is a list of the best works of fanfiction on the internet.* Some of them are on this list because of their charm. Some of them are just hands-down great works of literature. Some of them have changed the way I see the world. They are all the fics that I would want with me were I to be abandoned on a desert island, and all of them should be read, by you, right now.

*technically it’s only a list of the best fics that I’ve read since discovering fandom 8 years ago, but let’s not be pedantic. 

53 blowjobs: a love story, by zarathuse. Hockey RPF. At the intersection of blowjobs, spreadsheets, and the ineffability of the bro code exists this fic. If you have no background knowledge of hockey, don’t worry - none is required. You will need, at most, basic background knowledge of blowjob etiquette, but since Our Heroes seem to be pretty hazy on that themselves, consider it very optional. 

In the interest of full disclosure, I once recorded a podfic of this fic that I never did nor ever will post to the internet, because as it turns out it is impossible for me to get through this story without braying with undignified laughter. Fortunately braver souls than me have tried, so let me point you to Rhea314′s version here for your podfic needs. 

He Says He Is An Experimental Theologian, by SailorPtah. Welcome to Night Vale. I have thought long and hard about how to rec this fic. You see, my best friend recced it to me by explaining the actual PREMISE, so that I never in a million years would have downloaded it if I didn’t know I was going to be stuck at my Oma’s without wifi, because based just on the premise it sounded like a train wreck. Naturally I should never have doubted Bestie’s judgement, and thank god my Oma doesn’t have wifi because this fic is a fucking tour de force. There. That’s all you’re getting from me. Click the link.  

Always Should be Someone You Really Love, by thingswithwings. Stargate: Atlantis. This is the first sexswitch/cisswitch* fic I ever read, and to this day nothing I’ve read since has lived up to it. It was also formative to wide-eyed baby teenage me because it was my first time reading about someone not conventionally attractive being someone’s *type*. If you, gentle reader, are a sweet young thing beginning to worry that you do not meet Hollywood’s standard for beauty, as I was, read this fic and learn to say fuck the patriarchy from an early age. 

*which used to be known as genderswitch - if you’re curious about why fandom is trying to phase out the term, read the comment by hobbitkaiju on this post. 

Après moi le deluge, by Lake(beyond_belief). Generation Kill. Something you should know about me is that I love soulbond fic with the fire of a thousand suns, a fact that I attribute to my childhood obsession with the Wheel of Time series and the bond between Aes Sedai and Warders.* I can’t point towards what it is about this fic that makes it such a perfect example of the soulbond trope - maybe its how understated it is, maybe it’s how slowly their realization of what’s happening unfolds - but either way this fic is mashed potatoes levels of comfort fic for me. 

((*sidebar: why is Warder fic not a major trope in fandom??? It’s soulbond with built-in The King and His/Her Knight feels! There should be millions of Aes Sedai/Warder AUs! Imagine Merlin -- only while Merlin is Arthur’s wizard, Arthur is Merlin’s WARDER. SGA AU where the Ancient gene is the One Power. Super powerful Aes Sedai Sidney Crosby and his Warder Geno “The Bear” Malkin. What I’m getting at here, folks, is that you write me a Warder AU I will kiss you directly on the mouth and never wish for anything in life ever again, except maybe more Warder AUs.)) 

The Beltane Cycle, by astolat. Merlin. I know modern-day AUs are very popular in Merlin fandom, but as a fan of Tennyson and T.H. White I appreciate a Merlin fic with shades of the Arthurian legend. The Beltane Cycle in particular is structured like a fairytale, and astolat borrows just enough from legends of the Wild Hunt and of the Once and Future King to build her own in-universe mythology. I for one am 100% HERE FOR IT. 

Eight Sessions, by Speranza. Due South. The premise of this fic is relatively simple: Ray and Fraser have to go get therapy after a case goes haywire. A good writer could take that premise in a number of directions: humour, angst, hurt/comfort, case fic. Since Speranza is a GREAT writer, she manages all of that plus. Eight Sessions is the defining character study fic for Due South, in my opinion, on top of being an example of a fic with great narrative structure. 

Excerpts from Carver Edlund's Magnum Opus, by twentysomething. Supernatural. AKA the Bones AU. What could be better than case fic involving crop circles with exploded people in them? Well, all that PLUS an adorable child that your buddy cop partner has been helping you raise long before either one of you realized you were married, that’s what. Plotty and sweet by turns (in between all the, you know, blood spatter and stuff), this is one of my favourites in Supernatural fandom. 

Freedom's Just Another Word For Nothing Left to Lose, by synecdochic. Stargate: Atlantis. You’ve either read this fic or you haven’t been in SGA fandom. If it’s the latter, do me a favour. Don’t click the link yet. Start in the kiddie pool. If you’re not sure where to begin, merelyn has a great rec list here. I want you to learn to love the characters, to love Atlantis, to love the whole damn crew for always trying so desperately to survive. If possible, I want Freedom’s Just Another Word to be the last fic you read in SGA fandom because I guarantee that if you read it then, you’ll love it best. 

y u gotta be like this tollig

that drove me SO CRAZY. i know you think it looks cool marvel but this is not fucking tron CHILL OUT

i think u'll find his real name is tollig

you and your canadian agenda have been discovered

every time i have previously posted this gif it's been a lie

bc i was actually speeding

towards

p sure that’s the real tj oshie

maybe he'll forgive me when he reads the one where he's the triwizard champion???

Babe

zarathuse replied to your post: i always like wearing this headband bu...

yr beauty is too much for me