I donāt wanna be clocked as the āIām better than you disabled typeā for saying this, so please donāt go there. But I feel like people do have a problem with getting way too comfortable in their misery over the years here and I hope people see what I mean one day. Back when I was miserable myself and didnāt have the resources I do now, I used to get angry at those who said Iām capable of ādoing moreā or related but after receiving the help Iāve needed Iāve come to realize its a kind of fucked how normalized its been in these spaces to just.. use specific experiences or illnesses as a scapegoat? For a lack of better words. I used to do it but again, itās normalized here I guess.. weāre capable of so much more and Iām growing more and more tired of the āIām x so I canāt do xā thing..
Iām diagnosed with various things, some expected some new, Iāve been through heaps of traumatizing both irl and online situations resulting in the cptsd, chronic depression, BPD, some sort of dissociative disorder etc all being treated. What gets me though, is I see people experience way more mild things that they end up intensely identify with and blaming it or a few bad experiences on every negative trait they have, and donāt try and change anything. A lot of the time leading to misdiagnosing themselves as well with something serious, and yeah, I get mad about it. I get that people donāt all experience things the same but the same awwrghwk729191
The more I see this sort of thing taken happen between mutuals/acquaintances etc after I provide my insight the more (unreasonably?) angry I get? Because in my mind I guess people should know better but at the same time they havenāt been āenlightenedā like I have so to speak. Iāve helped a couple of people, but some are so, so stuck in the āIām this so I canāt do that or be expected toā thing and I only see this mindset in people who are very stuck on social media. I do not see this in people who are more āofflineā or focus more on projects/friends/etc who have been through a lot like I have as well.
[CW experience dump of unpleasantness];
If I can go through 13ish years of back to back domestic violence, witnessing my parent trying to kill themself multiple times, being woken up to screaming at 1am almost every day for months at one point, see people get beat, get beaten myself, have someone try to run me/family over twice, have a sibling die, endure s/a and on top of that be sent through multiple manipulators online after thinking I was through it all; Iām sure others with more āmildā problems in comparison theyāve ever went through can pull out of the āIām so constantly drained and I canāt do xyz thing,ā like I have, with work. But they have to really want it, when I get angry is when I see someone perfectly capable of using those resources and they donāt, but instead sink more into the āI canāt to blahā mindset.
I guess yeah thereās no hiding that this is a direct nod towards something that happened to me/someone recently, but nothing would change even if I dumped my feelings which Iāve done way too much of and itd always amount to nothing sooo instead Iāll just dump about what I see it all relating to in online phenomena. Iāll never be satisfied with how a friendship fell apart because of [the everything], and I could explain my pov further but I donāt want to get anymore specific than I am + Iām all around very certain it all culminates to this sort of thing. Out of all the worries I have recently reflecting on this is the only upsetting thing Iāve really been through recently besides random works issues and I think this will plague me for a long, long time. Wegh
Ty for the like attention span of idk 3 peanuts of my 50-ish followers who would read this post š
