#yther

Please use this photo for my Obit, etc.

Maybe frame it and put it in a haunted mansion, too.

Thanks.

How else can someone sympathetic to the cause take that? I genuinely don't understand. But this post was about me. So. Dang. You don't have to take your anger out on ppl with genuine criticism or feelings about what you said. I mostly added the reply because this is the disabled ppl website and I want to make sure people don't suffer huge consequences because they don't realize the legality issues of even donating $5 while on welfare. Blessings to you.

Fun little fact: This post was not about you! You are a stranger to me + you did not even cross my mind until you commented because my world does not revolve around you.

If you had read the rest of the post instead of assuming the 1st paragraph was attacking you specifically? This entire interaction could've been avoided.

oh goddamn

I just realized. much like

the way I move about my life~ with

cautioned staggering steps of stage fright

I,

when the art begins well

I am possessed by the worry of ruin

as I complete more, the higher and

higher the stakes

climb

I slip.

Or I am still. Afraid to budge.

When the art is bad, when the ruin is guaranteed, when the expectation or hope is beside it

I move soft and freely, through the mess

it's when it's all shit that I can loosen myself, dance

throw myself into life

the prospect of success is not

what I have ever deeply sought, though I have denied and lied my way into rationalizing self-sabotage as.... a negligible factor

when in fact

it is the only factor, my only factor, in the equation of Living

I fear success so deeply, how is it possible? when I resent failure?

...masochism. I relish in the pain of failing, I must. part of me beneath must be driven to it.

all my behavior, regardless of my conscious thoughts, points to this.

I take the impasses, the impassable tracks, the hopeless ways

I long for, search for, meader through

what is doomed

and in it find some sort of ecstasy. a softness a kindred light, or notion

to my soul

an attachment to the Absolute Certainty. (of it all- THIS IS MY HIDDEN HEART)

I will help u out girl