#ysgrifennu

Some of these have been hanging around unpublished on my pc for a few years with the hope that one day I'd add to them, but I'm setting them free now👋

So far:

chap 1 F!Mercar x Neve

this is from something I was writing about Buddug/Boudicca

"Y ffurf puraf o gariad ydi i amsugno, a dyna'r hyn a wnaeth hi."

     “Dad,”

     “Mmm,”

     “Dad!”

     “Yes?” Malcolm looked up at last from the book he was trying to read, it was a beginners guide to spirit healing but was so chantry censored that it barely mentioned spirits at all and he was beginning to think it was a complete waste of the paper it was printed on. His eldest daughter was swinging up and down onto the balls of her feet in front of him, she looked excited to show him something.  

     “Look!” she said, proving his suspicion, she cupped her hands in front of her and he peered into them. Empty.

     “Mina da’len, has it gotten away?” he asked, and the young girl laughed.

     “No!” she said, “look!” and then there blooming between her grubby six year old fingers was a spark of flame, there for a moment then gone again. Malcolm felt his heart stop and then restart again.

     “Have you shown anyone else?” he asked, unable to keep the edge out of his voice entirely if Mina’s dimming smile was anything to go by.

     “No,” she answered.

     “Let’s keep it between me and your Mother for now hmm?” he stroked her hair back, tucking the fiery red strands behind her round ears, and tried to keep his tone calm, offering her a smile that he hoped didn’t look too fake. Mina nodded.

     “Okay,” she said, then, “why?”

     “It might make other people scared d’alen,” he answered. She seemed to think about that for a minute.

     “Not you,” she said.

Mae’r ymwybyddiaeth bo ti ddim yn arwr yn brifo.

Nad ti yw’r person cryf a medrus yna fydd yn sefyll fyny am be sy’n iawn. Ti fydd y llwfrgi pragmatic yn y ffilm rhyfel.

Bo ti’n gyfrinachol gudd yn hollol hapus mewn nyth domestig. Bo ti wedi tyfu i ofni cyfrifoldebau’r byd go iawn.

Wyt ti erioed Wedi bod ofn gymaint ti'n caru rhywbeth? Wirioneddol, bob hyn a hyn dwi'n gorfod eistedd mewn gwewyr ar ôl sylwi mod i'n caru mhlant gymaint. Ei fod y peth mwyaf brawychus yn fy mywyd.

Mae'r eiliad na lle mae dy ddychymyg yn rhedeg yn gyflymach na dy feddwl deallus yn meddu ar y fath fraw. Yr eiliad lle ti'n gweld eu pennau'n torri. Yr eiliad lle ti'n gweld y corff bach yna'n gelain - a ti'n credu be ti'n gweld yn dy feddwl.

Mae dy gorff yn ymateb yn reddfol, yn hyrddio sŵn anifeilaidd o fan tyfnaf cyntefig dy berfedd. Sdim anadl ar ôl yn dy gorff. Ti'n gweld dy ddyfodol yn rhwygo'n ddarnau mân. Ti'n teimlo’r erchylltra fel pydredd trwy dy gnawd.

Yna, o fewn eiliad arall mae dy reswm yn taenu cwrlid tew i fygu'r braw, a gadael i ti gario mlaen i blygu crysau-t bach ar y gwely.

Wnes i grio yn ystod dosbarth Yoga Heno. A gwthio mhengliniau a nghorff i wneud gormod. Camddeall a dewis anwybyddu holl ystyr yoga. Y llifo, tawelu a gwella pob yn fymryn.

Crio achos blinder a chyffyrddiad aden anobaith, chwa o orbryder. Noson o wres a chosi. Allen i fyth fod yn fam newydd ddi-gwsg eto.

Ond crio yn ystod asanas gorwedd, gan fod fy meddwl yn neidio a chrwydro - meddwl mwnci