#yrs2

And you think about similar reactions to stress of parent and child and you remember the queen told Wille to take three deep breaths when he freaked out over Simon´s date and how she sends him to therapy to control his outbursts (ugh).

And you think where did it all go wrong that she can´t ever connect with her son when she´s obviously got some experience in that department. I think we meet her so far into her own history of controlling her emotions that she´s unable and mostly unwilling to connect even when Wille is outright asking her to be his mom (gah!), because oh hey, those would be more emotions she would need to allow to break through, and those walls are staying. Maybe in her mind even for Wille´s own good, to teach him how it´s done.

And there´s certainly reasons for those walls and it´s probably part self-protection and probably people telling her from a young age she needs to have them, and probably also because she´s a woman on the throne, so people would probably insist a little extra on them.

The most honest and raw I´ve seen her in the show is the moment she throws up.

(I usually question what she´s saying to Wille or August, no matter what warm or soft tone she´s using about what the court allegedly wants her to do, how it´s not really her, and how she actually supports Wille etc, as she´s been proven to manipulate Wille (and August in S2) into doing what she thinks is best for the institution she´s the head of. The one whose survival is always the priority, as per her own words.)

She´s shown to do royal business in what looks like pyjamas after all, the most casual and private of clothes, telling us there´s no separation, ever, that she´s always the queen. She rolls her eyes at her son after ending a phone call in which a rattled Wille sits among shards of glass negotiating with her (!), after she wanted to forcibly remove him from school. She doesn´t ever truly seem torn or conflicted, except that one time she throws up.

When her emotional core literally breaks its way out of her against her will.

No wonder she completely underestimates Wille and the depth and power for change his emotions hold after he´s finally allowed some therapy (that he could have used long ago just for growing up in that institution) and experienced actual emotional growth and healing instead of using it for control like she probably has. No wonder she and the court collectively underestimate Simon and what his love, what their love and connection mean to Wille. (Looking at you, Jan-Olof, allowing Wille a moment with Simon, you fool!) It´s simply been too long behind those impenetrable walls that she can´t even see it anymore. Until her son shows her. And you wonder if he´s even breaking through to her, or if she´s just been confirmed in her fears about his emotional unruliness and will dig in deeper inside her fortress. (Another time if feels like we see some honest emotion from her is of course in S1 when she´s visibly angry as she says that nobody ever chooses the royal life, so maybe Wille can relay Boris´ message about choosing how to live your life to her? Maybe she´s not beyond Boris´ wisdom. Anyway.)

The show shines such an unforgiving light on that institution that chokes all feelings and individual freedom out of you, especially over such a long time as with the queen, but I love love love how hopeful and defiant Wille´s journey of deliberate progress is in the face of it.

(please ignore how freakin ugly and un-uniform these gifs are it was taking foreverrrrrr and I gave up *sob)

So, I feel like there are massive similarities between Simon and Wille's confrontation in the music room in episode 5 and Simon and Marcus' confrontation in episode 6, and I simply cannot continue to ignore them. They proceed like so:

Start off with an incredulous rhetorical question from party 1 followed by a lackluster attempt at defense by party 2. Sarcastic rebuttal from party 1 ensues (the eye before the storm), and then they go OFF, calling out party 2 on their (perceived) hypocrisy, essentially reaming them out for treating them poorly out of selfishness. Party 2 has no come back, party 1 drops mic and leaves.

The really interesting part here, is that Simon is the accuser in the first scene, but takes on the opposite role in the second scene. It's like the show is turning all the things he yelled at Wille in on their heads and giving him a taste of his own medicine. I don't know if this was intentional or I am off in delusional fan-land or what (come on in ya'll, the water's finee!!).

These two scenes together are (for me) a really effective way to emphasize the morally gray area all these characters are kind of residing in this season. It feels super harsh when Simon is yelling at Wille because he is not privy to everything that's been going on with Wille, he doesn't have all of the information. But at the same time, he's not totally wrong either. Wille did make an executive decision to keep Simon in the dark which was pretty shitty.

Likewise, although no one here is really sympathetic to Marcus, mans may have made a point or two. Does Marcus suck? Um, yes. But actually Simon doesn't think that Marcus sucks. Simon quite likes Marcus but is basically unable to get anywhere with him because of his feelings for Wille. Meanwhile though, he still allowed him to think that they were together, and then ditched him at the ball to makeout with his ex, which is kindaaa sketch (objectively. subjectively, it was awesome). However, Marcus also doesn't have all the information about Simon's motives. He doesn't understand how deep this thing between Simon and Wille runs, so from his perspective Simon is just messing him around with the prince of sweden, the elitest godamn elite of all the godamn elites at this goddamn elitist-ass boarding school. And, as a respectable flannel-gay, we all know how Marcus hates those elites.

So all of this really drives home the point that no one here is completely in the right or wrong. It's a messy situation all around, and everyone's suffering for it.

The other thing that I reallllly love about these parallel compositions, is that the argument with Marcus places Simon in Wille's previous position, where he gets similarly hit with accusations that demonstrated a lack of understanding of the full picture. In my opinion, this allows Simon to view his and Wille's confrontation from a different perspective - maybe he was being a little unfair, a little harsh, because he was hurt. But maybe he wasn't seeing the full picture either.

Of course at this point, Wille and Simon have already come to understand one another much better (hey thanks Karen Boye!), and hooked up in the bedroom. But nothing about their situation has truly been resolved, and recall that Simon is still undecided about what to choose re Wille while he is talking to Ayub later in the episode. And when he finally tells Wille he wants to be with him, his condition is "no more secrets between us", referring back to their fight.