#yourfool

dizzy eyes try to focus on the dirty bathroom tiles beneath them. always gets so anxious before things like this, things where rory has to talk about themselves, what inspires their art, things that feel a little too personal to share with strangers. it’s an hour or two before they’re supposed to go on and they’re feeling a little sick from the alcohol that they’ve quickly consumed. they’re all too aware that eren’s behind them while they’re clutching the toilet seat and retching, not too anxious to be embarrassed about it. ‘ sorry.. ’ they breathe, clammy hands pushing messy curls back while their head is spinning. ‘ you .. you don’t have to be here you know ? ’ manages to get it out before vomiting into the disgusting toilet in front of them, shame burning into their cheeks. ‘ sorry..’ voice is quiet as they bury their head in their hands. / @yourfool .

the words leave their lips before they have time to think about them. doesn’t know why they thought they could handle this, just wanted to have a nice night with lucas so they suggested they go to a show together. but god, the fucking lights and the loud music and everyone talking over it. it’s not something rory can handle even on the best of days. find their head growing dizzy, their breathing getting heavier. doesn’t have a single thought in their brain besides getting the fuck out of there, pushes through the crowd of sweaty and loud people into the cool quiet air outside. can barely catch their breath, kneeling on the curb with their head in their hands when they feel the other come up next to them. and as much as they love them, their stupid fucking brain overrides the feeling with fear. ‘ just - just leave me alone for a second, okay ? ’ they regret it the second it leaves their lips, not something they would ever say to lucas on a good day. head still in their hands, heart racing and now met with the guilt with saying those words to him. ‘ fuck - i didn’t mean - luca ... ’ voice is shaky, feeling dangerously close to a panic attack. ‘ i didn’t .. fuck. ’ / @yourfool.

just another stupid situation that rory could have avoided if they could just be fucking normal. and they’re so embarrassed. always, so fucking embarrassed by the way they are. the way they act. sometimes they feel like everyone else was given some kind of manual on how to act in the right way and rory’s just been left out. because everything they do feels wrong. the way that grocery store employee was looking at them like they had two heads. can’t get that image out of their brain. hates how it makes them feel. they can never understand the way they’re supposed to fit in the world. and eren’s holding them so tight, whispering sweet nothings to them and trying to soothe their frantic head. face is red, hot tears silently streaming down puffy cheeks. ‘ i - ’ a deep shaky breath, heels of their hands pushing into their eyes. ‘ i - i don’t know why i act like .. like that. ’ they couldn’t speak the whole drive home and even now a good while after it’s almost physically painful for them to talk. ‘ i’m sorry. must’ve been really embarrassing for you ... it’s just like .. like i couldn’t f - find you and i felt like i did when i was a kid and i’d get left behind a lot and i didn’t know if they were coming back .. ’ wipes away stupid tears and tilts their head up to look at eren. those soft eyes that always feel like a salve to their wounds. a big exhale and their eyelids flutter shut. ‘ sometimes it feels like i just wasn’t .. wired right. do you ever feel that way ? ’ 

casual  bar  talk  was  for  the  birds  .    well  ,    in  this  case  it  was  .    running  into  her  best  friends  ex  at  the  local  bar  had  been  a  miracle  in  disguise  .    at  first  ,    she  was  throwing  sideways  glances  and  giving  them  the  cold  shoulder  .    however  ,    a  few  drinks  in  she’d  found  herself  sitting  right  next  to  them  on  a  barstool  .    elbow  pressed  against  the  sticky  laminated  wood  ,    chin  resting  against  her  palm  as  she  studies  their  expressions  .    ❛  can  i  ask  you  a  question  ?  ❜    there’s  a  whimsical  curiousness  in  her  tone  ,    her  posture  immediately  straightening  upon  request  .    she  doesn’t  wait  for  an  answer  .  ❛  when  you  and  thea  broke  up  .  .  .    did  you  wish  you’d  put  up  more  of  a  fight  ?  do  you  miss  her  ?    do  you  wish  you  could  still  touch  her  ?    ❜    brow  quirks  before  she  realizes  she’s  leaning  too  far  forward  ,    she  straightens  again  ,    throwing  her  hands  up  in  defense  .    ❛  it’s  just  a  question  .  ❜

The synths used at 0:40 is reminiscent of future house but the song as a whole is quite "poppy" and fits more with progressive house. The drop is groovy and catchy.