5:27PM 09/15/2021
๐บ๐ So, I've been having mad anxiety; full blown panic attacks and everything ๐๐and my depression ๐ it's bad, pretty bad. So bad that I spent this past week in bed every day all day and ight I'm in bed just sleepy, exhausted! ๐ด๐๐ค
๐๐พ ๐โก๐๐๐๐๐ป๐๐๐๐๐๐
Ever since New Moon
๐I have been slacking big time !! !
๐บ๐Well, it's all started when I couldn't upload more than one photo at a time on Instagram and then I just quit Instagram altogether. Which I had been started up this Tumblr account and started a couple Tarot games on here and divination services๐๐ฎ๐ but that hasn't been keeping me that happy either which it usually keeps me going and keeps me out of trouble and keeps me occupied and helps me to feel productive and like a normal citizen or whatever you want to call it I don't know what it makes me feel whole I guess I'm not really sure but it gives me the sense of being connected to the world. ๐
๐บ๐ I've made quite a few pick a card Tarot readings; I mean for ME, that's actually, with everything I'm going through.
๐บ๐ I'm not able to really do Tarot full time because of my depression and due to health reasons my chronic illness. My cancer always gets in the way. I'm not going to say much on it because I don't want to put a damper on your day because I know how depressing cancer can be too everyone.โฃ๐๐งฟ๐ฑ
๐บ๐ I've written a small piece of poetry โจ๐it's nothing to flex just a bullshit mood put on paper ๐ I call it Moody Confusion.
Poem: MOODY ๐CONFUSION
Written By: F.R.
โฃ๐ป๐๐งฟโฃ๐โฃ๐งฟ๐๐ปโฃ
MOODY BLUES IN MY BED
MOODY CONFUSION IN MY HEAD
Feel IT IN My CHEST
Heart DROPS
Beat Rocks
HE S LOST
CANT STOP THESE THOUGHTS
I COULDNT BELIEVE IT
I still Can't Believe It
RUN AWAY , BUT WERE RUNNING IN CIRCLES
WHERE TO RUN
WALK IT OFF
NOW IM IN BED
FUZZY DRAMA IN MY HEAD
LOSING MY GRIP
LETTIG THIS SLIP
MOODY CONFUSION IN MY HEAD
Moody Blues in my bed
MOODY CONFUSION GETS THE BEST
Of me
MOODY CONFUSION
LOST THE REST OF ME
๐บ๐ I did turn to divination as a method to help solve my little problem too; I did an Oracle Reading and I feel it's fairly accurate. ๐ I'm sort of relieved that I didn't pull out Oracle deck for nothing and cleanse it with brand new "Tangerine Cream" incents... they smell oh so Divine!! !
๐บ๐For my Oracle Reading I simply had one thing on my mind: my anxiety and depression ๐๐ I wanted to know why I feel this way and what can I do to fix it.
๐Q::WHATS THE TRUE SOURCE OF MY DEPRESSION AND PANIC ATTACKS?
A: Father Sky- Trust in the Unknown, Earth Element- Stability, Leadership
๐Q: HOW CAN I GET OVER THIS ?
A: Libra- Balance, 12- Change, Look at the Bigger Picture
๐Q: What magick should I concentrate on in my mystic craft? Spells I should work on now that woukd boost my self esteem and get me out of this depression and rid me of my anxiety ?
A: 7-Jupiter-Abundance, Middle World, Appreciation, Roots, Meditation Protected: You are safe and Supported While you Change Your Career.
๐บ๐โก So, I'm going to very very briefly summarize this up; in case I need to read this again later! This is a personal entry in my blog ... it will be listed under the tag #YourCosmicGuide #PersonalPost #CosmicGuideSays ( all one word except personal post ) . You will just have to bear with mg tagging system to look and search my blog for the posts you desire to see. Because I'm new to this experience here and I'm unsure of how to create links properly like I have seen many ppl use !? Anybody want to give me some guidance on this ๐๐???? I'd be ever so grateful.
โกSo let's discuss the above Oracle Cards that I pulled ..
๐๐So, basically I see that my anxiety and depression has a root cause and it's my lack of stability and there are issues with myself assuming leadership roles. This could stem from the fact that I do not have as close of a relationship with God/Creator/The Universe as much as I use to in the past ... I used to have a more balanced Spiritual life N I seemed to make time for more religious studies and communication with Spirit; just more of a connection to the other side , even my SpiritGuide, Elm . I've been slacking in my meditation and could use some empowering , uplifting , guided meditation tapes ๐ I should also be manifesting abundance ๐ I could do a Spell for abundance even add in prosperity since I just happen to have orange peels ๐๐ง๐ and I've been making my digital grimoire ! Oh yes there's a reason I've been depressed! Because I lost it my hard copy Grimoire or someone stole it. Then someone stole my old tablet my Samsung galaxy tab A , this new ones an A7 . it's not as good.
๐๐พ๐ I should take my picture of my white pumpkin from the grocery store. I'm impressed with it. I'm shocked that me and Kyle picked the same one out too !!
๐๐ I did edit this just a bit . Hope yall enjoy ๐ it. I work hard!!? Actually yah I do. Really it probly takes me on average so much longer than ost ppl doing just a regular upload like this .. and I'm still not done explaining my reading but I'm sure you get the jyst of it.its pretty self explanatory.
๐บ๐So I'm hearing from this reading that I need to gain courage in order to move on and basically I need to communicate with Spirit and the universe my higher self and also God completely need to let go of my need to control things and let go and let God. I need to give off these ideas of perfection and I need to just move on the best I can with what I have left because I will have nothing at all if I don't just pick up here and at least pick up the pieces and move on. There's not much more I can do other than that so I'm going to have a lot of healing to go from here. I'm going to have to do a lot of self-care work and I'll have to put a note to self that I'm going to be doing more Shadow work also so that's October coming and working on working with spirit channeling guidance from the other side.
