#young shit

crying.

I have no specific reason to be crying. not one, more than one.

loved ones ive lost to suicide and age, to overdoses.

being alone, when im accompanied by friends, who never seem to notice.

not even my " bestfriends"

everyones so fuckin obliviant its unbelievable, they dont see a thing wrong

they see a pothead hyperly active woman who lives each day.

I see an overweight, insecure, sad whimp, who cant make one decision

without flaw.

I think the worst feeling is when the love of my life, cant even tell half of the time.

I tell him, im upset, he says im strong enough to get over it.

He doesent help me, and when i ask he just becomes a smart ass

He blows me off frequently,

Hes lazy when it comes to attention,

He puts no effort into plans or even talking to eachother,

When he does do somthing, i fall even more inlove. And i love that concept. but hate it.

But i bet im not better either.

I probally put him through hell, everyday.

maybe thats why i cant tell if he loves me or not.

A year and the most i've gotten is "miss you. <3"

What am i saying. i dont even know anymore..

i just want to be the skinny girl, tattoes piercings everyone loves, would kill

to spend time with, and all the boys chase.

To be the girl who can make her family proud.

To be the girls everyone expects me to be.

Im a shamefilled mess.

A nuecence to the world.

I am nothing.