#yoongi request

You chuckle, the noise not holding much humour as Yoongi just continues to stare at you. You take another sip of your drink, this one much bigger. You need it. He invited you here and yet he’s sat in silence. It was a surprise he even invited you out, something so unlike Yoongi that you thought something was wrong, you had no other choice but to say yes. He’s been there for you so much recently that it’s the least you could do for him. But when you turned up there was nothing wrong. Just the same calm, near silent Yoongi.

You place your now empty glass on the counter and then reraise your hand in the air to try and get the bartenders attention.

“Who did that to you?”

You jerk your arm down, trying to get a fresh drink long forgotten. You force a smile to your lips as you look back at Yoongi, slip your sleeve back down your arm as you feign ignorance. But it’s no use, he saw it and your immediate reaction was telling enough.

“It’s nothing,” you go on the defensive instead.

“It’s not nothing, Y/N,” Yoongi searches your face before looking down at your arm. “Let me see it.”

You shuffle, uncomfortable. Yoongi looks back up at you, his gaze firm but somehow still soft.

“If it’s nothing, then you can show me,” he says.

You sigh, debate it for a second longer. Yoongi gives you the time to think it through. He may be questioning it and asking to see it, he may be being firm with you, but you know he would never force you. If you really don’t want to, he’ll ultimately drop it.

But you know you must show him. For yourself, you have to do it.

Yoongi reaches out as you lift your arm and pull back your sleeve. Five circular bruises in the shape of fingers gripping you.

“Y/N,” Yoongi whispers shaking his head.

You don’t know what to say. You can’t explain it away and really, you don’t want to.

Contrasting how you got the mark; Yoongi is soft as he touches your arm. His fingers more like a ghost as he skims the surface. His face like thunder as he focuses on the mark. You’re not scared, you trust him. It’s the only reason you feel ok to show him.

“I’m going to help you, ok?”

You sigh, strolling mindlessly through the square as you keep your eyes rooted to the ground so you weren't forced to acknowledge the crowd of students that surround you. Despite the internal panic you were experiencing, no one seemed to care about the lost girl wandering around the campus. It was like that in college, people minded their own business, had their own shit to deal with.

Your feet travel instinctively, unaware of where it was taking you as you quicken your steps—and really, you should've learned from your numerous fumbles throughout the course of your life, but old habits died hard. Your carelessness eventually sends you stumbling into a firm surface as you yelp at the impact.

"Oh my God—I'm so sorry—!"

"Hey," the voice returns coolly as your eyes dart up, wide and stunned. "Was looking for you."

From the corner of your eye, you're aware of a group of students stopping in their tracks as they gawk at your interaction.

"I-I was doing fine on my own," you huff, blowing a strand of hair out of your vision as you turn your face away indignantly.

"Never said you weren't," he raises a brow before he's shoving a bag into your grasp. "Here."

"What's this?"

"Lunch," he says simply.

You immediately flush, and at the same time—you hear hushed whispers by your side. You know exactly what they're talking about even if you couldn't hear the contents of their conversation. You were a little dense, not unperceptive. This was why you insisted on exploring alone.

"I had my lunch already," you lie.

Yoongi nods unconvincingly before he sighs, reaching out towards your bag strap as you immediately dodge his hands. He shoots you a dry look as you stick your tongue out at him in response.

"Let me help you," he says.

"No," you retort petulantly, "I'm a big girl."

"A big girl who forgot her lunch," he reminds gently as you scowl.

"Not now," you hiss, suddenly hyperaware of the girl that passes you with her eyes ogling the person in front of you more so than you, immediately leaning to her friend and whispering into their ear.

"Baby," he says blandly and you briefly hear a person choke next to you.

"God—say that louder, will you?" you snap.

"Baby," he increases his volume as you clamp a hand over his mouth while he shoots you a blank stare.

"Yoongi," you grit, "Did you forget that we're in public?"

"No," he returns easily, "did you forget that I'm your boyfriend?"

"He has a girlfriend?"

Your face falls as you attempt to tug him aside, but Yoongi remains rooted in position as he sighs; as if you were the inconvenience.

"N-No—I just—I didn't want to make things weird," you whine, stomping your feet childishly as a small and fond smile makes its way to Yoongi's face.

"You're weird," he says as you pout at him. The look he gives you is nothing short of gentle, especially when he manages to slip your bag off your shoulder and lug it over his own. "Come, I'll show you around."

You're still flustered at the eyes on the two of you. You knew that this would happen—Yoongi was Yoongi and you ... well, you were the new girl. And Yoongi's always been the aloof, mysterious heartthrob. You didn't blame their reaction.

"You got me strawberry sandwiches," you beam up at him excitedly.

He chuckles softly before he nods.

Just as you were about to go off about the wonderfulness of the sandwich and how you were excited to sink your teeth into it—Yoongi extends his free hand out, palm facing upwards as you stare at it owlishly.

"W-What?"

"What," he smiles teasingly, "new girl's too good to hold her boyfriend's hand?"

You flush, ears turning red as you immediately snatch his waiting hand so that he wouldn't make a show out of it. Your head ducks down to avoid the gawking from the other students on campus as the whispers get exponentially louder.

"You're so dumb," you mumble, especially when he intertwines your fingers together.

"Love you too," he says softly as he presses a kiss to the crown of your head.

That rainy Monday in junior year, the first time ever hearing of BTS, you were hooked. That was in 2015, two years after they first debuted, and the first time your friend had shown you them. To be honest, you were not into KPOP, but for some reason, BTS intrigued you. You never knew way, it could have been their passion for music and dancing, or their personalities, or just how intriguing they were. They were different from all of the other KPOP bands your friend has shown you, and you have always loved different.

Four years later, the love for BTS has never faded. You were always up to date, or tried to be, on them. You were not like one of those sasaeng fans, or the obsessed fans that you have seen. Of course, you did fan girl if you saw them on tv (sometimes exaggerated when your cousin was around you), and you did use memes of them in conversations with your best friend just to mess with her. You do know that the memes always made her day, in her words, ‘one of the unique things about you.’

So, the day when BigHit did a special contest, the reward the person winning having the chance to spend one day with BTS exclusively, you of course signed up. You are definitely no heathen. The night you signed up, you went to bed playing different scenarios on winning. It took two days on BigHit getting back to you, and you dreaded on opening the email. You had the thought on not getting the chance to win, knowing that the email could be a possible ‘thank you for signing up, but I hate to inform you that you did not win,’ kind of one.

That is why when you saw the ‘Congratulations!’ on your phone screen, you almost pissed yourself. You could not contain the excitement that you felt, having the urge to call your best friend and scream into the phone the whole time. That night, you were pretty sure that your best friend went to bed with a blown ear drum. You reread the email at least fifteen times, letting the realization that you will be meeting the seven dwarfs who have helped you through the both bad and good times.

“Holy fucking shit.” Was the first thing you said when you pulled up to a very expensive hotel in your city. It was so nice, and so classy that you felt intimidated. Of course, you have stayed in the ‘Holiday Inns’ and had considered those to be classy, but this, right in front of you, is a new kind of classy.

The man in the black suit opened your door, helping you step out of the limousine, before shutting the door behind you. He then led you inside the hotel, chuckling at your ‘awe’ expression by everything that you saw. But the chuckles that followed his chuckle was what made you freeze in your spot. You recognize those chuckles.

Turning around, you felt the urge to cry.

There stood in all of their glory was the seven saving graces that you have been wanting to meet for the last four years. The fangirl inside of you was overpowered by the overwhelming emotions you were feeling.

“Oh my gosh,” you gasped out, not knowing how to react.

You could hear their chuckles, something that made you relieved. This was a sign from them that was basically silently said by them ‘this is a normal thing for us.’

“I’m so sorry, I just love you guys so much. And like, I—”

“- Love, it’s okay. Don’t apologize.” Hoseok reassured you, coming over to you to hug you. “Jungkook felt the same way when he met IU.” He chuckled, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Hyung!!” Said boy whined, “Don’t call me out like that.” He pouted. Jungkook’s reaction had you laughing and shocked. Shocked because you never thought you would be able to witness this side of him in person. You have been so used to seeing him do this kind of reaction over youtube videos and fan made videos, that the real thing is so much better. Turning to look at you, Jungkook gave you his famous bunny smile, “Hi! You must be Y/N! I’m Jungkook, but you must already know that.”

“H-Hi,” you stuttered out. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, stop saying sorry. You have nothing to be sorry about,” a cool, calming tone demanded you. Looking towards the person who said this, you saw Min Yoongi giving you a teasing demanded look.

Clapping his hands, Namjoon got everyone’s attention. “Alright, how does lunch sound? We have the whole day, and let’s start it off by getting to know one of our biggest fans!”

When you guys got to the restaurant, you automatically felt out of placed. You insisted on having the boys take you to McDonald’s or even Taco Bell, but both Jungkook and Taehyung were very persistent on this place because of the reviews that they heard.

“You seem very surprised,” Namjoon spoke beside you, a small smile on his face.

“That’s an understatement,” you laughed, looking up at the tall man. “It’s very … classy.” You said in awe, looking around at everything, trying to take in what you are seeing and ingraining it in your memory as best as you can.

“She’s so cute, Hyung.” Jimin giggled next to Hoseok, a goofy smile on his face.

Blushing, you tried to hide behind your hair. You could not believe that you are actually in the presence of your idols. This whole ordeal seems so unreal, so dream like to you. Lost in your thought, you did not notice a presence beside you, that is until you felt a hand on your shoulder.

Looking up, you were met with a concerned looking Min Yoongi. “You okay?” He asked you, concern laced in his tone.

“Yeah, I’m just still in shock. It seems so unreal.” You told him in honesty, not losing eye contact with the older male (he’s only older by three years).

“Well, it seems unreal to meet someone as beautiful as you.” He confidently said, a smirk on his face when he saw you blush.

“Oh,” you were lost for words, taken back by the compliment – especially one from the one and only Min Fucking Yoongi.

“Guys!” Jin yelled, catching everyone’s attention, “We got our table!”

Shaking your head, you tried to get yourself composed before following the boys, not noticing the rappers stare. As you were walking, someone threw their arm around your shoulders.

“Ahh, young love,” Taehyung spoke, pulling you into his side, “it’s so magical.” He smiled down at you with his boxy grin.

“What do you mean?” You asked, giving the taller boy a confused look.

“Noona will just have to wait and see,” the maknae teased beside you giving Taehyung a knuckle punch.

Sitting you down at the table, the two boys sat beside you, making you even more confused. Yoongi sat right in front of you, smirking at you.

The rest of the lunch resulted in you telling the boys about yourself, answering their questions, and was loaded with laughter. Once lunch was over, the boys decided on taking you to an amusement park, something that was encourage by the maknae line. On the way there, Yoongi walked beside you, asking you questions about your favorite taste in music. The both of you found out that you two have the similar taste in music, something that had the both of you getting excited about the fact. As you and Yoongi were talking about music, you two did not notice the six boys cooing and making kissy faces at you both.

“Wait, you used to sing at your old job? But I thought you said that you used to be a waitress?” Yoongi questioned, giving you a confused look.

“I was a waitress, but my boss allowed me to sing, which brought more customers in.” You cleared up, “the people loved it.” You smiled, reminiscing.

“That’s awesome!” Yoongi gave you a gummy smile, making you smile back at him, not being able to resist his contagious smile. “Would you like to do a song with me?”

Feeling confident, “is that your way for asking me out on a date?” You teased, butterflies filling your stomach.

Smirking, Yoongi pushed his shoulders back, gaining confidence in himself, “Yes, it is.”

Smiling at him, you nodded your head, “Then yes, I would love to do a song with you. Or, go on this date with you.”

You were opening each beautifully wrappedpackage one by one. All the fan gifts were piling up in a corner of thepractice room.  

One fan sent you a cute Tokidoki figurinewhich you were planning to display in your room, and some from your fanclubgifted you a pair of really flamboyant flowery-designed sneakers. To you, thejoy of it was more in reading each of the hand-made cards that came with thepresents. Although you usually did not accept gifts from fans, your birthdaywas always an exception.

You reached out to pick up the next one, awhite box wrapped with a neon pink silk ribbon. The box was exceptionally heavyand you were wondering what it would reveal. You opened the cover and abruptlythrew down the box in horror, gasping. Jooyeon, your fellow member, who wassitting next to you screamed and shrinked away at the sight of the contents.

The sudden noises caught your othermembers’ attentions and whoever turned to look towards the box, either yelledor cursed.

One of your managers barged into the roomupon hearing the commotion from outside and saw the box lying on the ground,some of its contents spilling out – a mixture of blood, wings, tails, heads andpieces of animal parts. A piece of paper was stuck to the inside of the cover,it simply said “I wish you were dead like them bitch”.

—

Your hands were still trembling as youreached for the door handle to your apartment. It wasn’t the first time youreceived a death threat, but each only carved a deeper scar within you.

You were a pretty vocal idol, an idol whostood up for what you believed in. You often endorsed social causes, which inevitablygot you into the bad books of a few powerful people who choose to be on thewrong side of law.

While there were these “mobsters”, aslightly different group of people also had a vested interest in terrorisingyou – your boyfriend’s sasaengs, who were really closer to being voyeurs. Yourrelationship with Yoongi has never been publicly acknowledged, it remains a runoff the rumour mills. But in reality, the two of you were very much together,in love. His sasaengs knew it as clear as day, and they hated you beyondanybody’s imagination.

Yoongi had always known you received hateletters and death threats, it wasn’t difficult to not spot them all over theinternet. He was always worried that it was because of him, although he didn’tquite express it much. You never wanted him to feel shitty about such thingsthat were clearly beyond his control, so you always chose to pin it on themobsters, the people who hated your activist stance.

As you creaked the door opened, your housewas shrouded in darkness, with sparkles of light coming from the living room.

A loud pop burst into your ears suddenly.“HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BABY!!!”, an unusually excited Yoongi shouted whileappearing from behind a sofa holding a confetti popper.

You stood frozen at the doorway, confettisnowing down on you, unable to move your feet into the dark room, only nownoticing that the sparkles of light came from cubes of candles Yoongi hadplaced around your living room.

He came to you instead. “Hey Y/N, what’swrong? Did I scare you so badly? I thought this was supposed to be romantic…damn, shouldn’t have taken Jin’s advice on this.”

You were just too relieved to hear hisvoice, and you took a few steps closer to him, wrapping your arms around historso and burying your face into his chest. You tried your damnest best to lethis heart beat soothe your traumatised mind.

“Don’t leave me, Yoongi-ah", you saidin the smallest voice.

Given that he was a member of the nowworld-renowned boyband, everyone assumed Yoongi had the everything and foundthe happy ending he worked so hard for. But despite all his achievements, healways still felt like he had nothing. That was until you came into his life,and he finally knew what it meant to have somebody. You became the entire worldhe had and the happy ending that he pines for.

But now, his entire world is weakly hidingin his arms. He knew there was something going on, and the fact that you werenot telling him outrightly suggests that it was related to him.

“Aigooo our birthday baby is feeling sadthat she’s growing old? Since it’s your birthday, can you make my wish cometrue? Wish that I’ll turn into a rock so that I can’t and won’t need to goanywhere, so that I can stay by your side forever”, he only ever showed hischeesy side when he wanted to cheer you up.

You huffed a laughter into his chest, stilltaking in his comforting scent. “Stop learning all these bad lines from Jinplease”, although your murmurs were muffled you were already feeling safer andbetter. Even if the whole world hated you, even if the whole world wanted youdead, it was sufficient that in this moment, he was holding you.

—

Two weeks passed and it was the end ofanother year, the season of award ceremonies again. Dressed in all the glamourand glitz, your members and you strutted down the red carpet. A reporter hadtried to throw a few questions as you guys walked by, in particular whether youhad a response to the rumours that you were dating Yoongi.

Inside the hall, your group’s table waslocated diagonally behind BTS’ table. In an attempt to appear less blatant, youlet Jooyeon take the seat that would closest to where Yoongi sat and youoccupied the next seat instead. At least you had a clear view of him, you weremore than satisfied.

As the night passed, Yoongi’s staring atyou became more and more frequent. You were in such a fabulous gown, he justcouldn’t control his idiotic smile every time he looked at you.

One of the programme directors approachedyour table indicating that you girls should start preparing for the upcomingperformance. As you slowly slipped away from the table to the back of the stageyou gave Yoongi one last glance and he just beamed back at you.

—

The stage was pitch black, you were all inyour positions. There was chanting and screaming which you had difficultytrying to hear through the earpiece you wore. Lights came on, music erupted andyou girls did your thing.

You always had flare in your performance,being one of the main dancers. You would catch glimpses of Yoongi watching you,his thumb under his chin and his fingers covering his slightly dropping jaw.

The performance reached the first dancebreak and Jooyeon had a solo dance part before it will transition into yourpart. As a result, the choreography required you to stand way in the backhidden by all the other members. Your eyes were staring at the floor in frontof you focusing on the music flowing through your earpiece and mentallypreparing to tear the stage in a few moments.

From nowhere a strong force tugged yourarms causing your entire body to follow the motion and you belatedly realisedsomeone dressed in a black hoodie was pulling you off the stage in the cover ofthe darkness. You were dragged a few metres from where you had stood but youresisted and flung your arms forcefully, your struggling voice was picked up bythe microphone and eventually you were freed from the grasp of the stranger.

As you turned your back to run away fromthe shadows, a booming sound resounded, resembling the shattering of the earth.Instantaneously, it subsided into absolute silence.

You couldn’t hear anything. You saw yourmembers turn to face you. Two seconds, you felt a shard of coldness shock youthrough your veins. What followed was indescribable. Pain, torture, shock, yourbody was incapable of breathing or functioning. You collapsed.

A part of your back felt like someone wastrying to rip your soul through it, but you couldn’t even focus on that becauseyou were losing all senses. Someone was holding your head, shaking you,shouting at you and then…

Have you ever felt it before? Fallingasleep? You have never, because you only realise you have fallen asleep afteryou wake up from it. So… what happens if you never wake up again?

—

It was a love-hate relationship that Yoongihad with your performances. He loved watching you dance, but he hated otherpeople watching you. Ever since your performance started, he was busy splittinghis attention between intently appreciating your existence and looking out forother idols ogling at you. Sometimes he could tell that the other idols enjoyedyour performance a little too much, but he couldn’t do much about it since thetwo of you were not publicly together, which was a fact he hated more. At leastwhen it came to his own members, if he caught any of them staring a tad toolong at you, he would hurl a sweet from the table at them discreetly.

During Jooyeon’s dance break, you werehidden from the audience’s view and Yoongi finally managed to find some time tocatch his breath again. Jin was making funny eyes at him and internallylaughing at his friend being too mesmerised by his own girlfriend. Yoongilaughed at himself slightly too for being so… not himself when it comes toyou.

He didn’t notice the scuffling noisesseeping through the sound system, but the atmosphere around him grew noisier asthough everyone was curious about something.

An unexpected loud bang broke his tranceand he intuitively ducked his head away from the sound. When he looked up,there was chaos breaking out on the stage, he could see a few men holdingsomeone down, your members were covering their mouths with their hands andpeople were seen yanking them off the stage.

The music stopped and disorder started tospread. Everyone was panicking, everyone was running away and some hid underthe table.

Between the gaps of humans fleeing, hecaught the sight of your lifeless body lying on the dark stage floor. It was nolonger a fight or flight moment, there was only one choice for him, toimmediately rush to your side.

He frantically tried to push past the hoardof people, like that one drop of water trying to resist the tide of the river.Everyone finally got some grasp of the situation and Namjoon who was next toYoongi instantly tried to restrain him from dashing into the perceived danger.

“You can’t be running up there!”, heshouted into Yoongi’s ears. Jungkook and Jimin each grabbed one of Yoongi’sarms to stop him. The strength of desperation is truly a biological wonder, ittook the three of them all their energy to hold down a usually weak Yoongi.

As Jungkook tried to pull him back, heshoved Jungkook off and then grabbed him by his shirt.

“Will you be able to stay away?”, the wordshe spoke were like daggers, “if not then fucking let me go!”, he bellowed.

When he finally reached you, you were nolonger responding. Two or three paramedics were busy trying to get you out ofthis hell. Yoongi was constantly trotting by your side, controlling himself tonot break down into hysteria. As he followed behind the stretcher wheeling youout, a voice stopped him,

“Oppa…”

He turned to face it, she looked like anordinary teenager, the hood that covered her face earlier was now hanging offthe back of her head. Her hair was in a mess and her hands were behind her backas she was currently pinned by two security guards to a wall. A small pistollay on the ground in front of them.  

“She’s gone now. But you still have me”,she said.

—

27 days. You lay in the intensive care unitfor 27 days.

That wasn’t the worst part.

He held your hands which were soft but coldand were pierced by countless needles. He watched as they time and again triedto revive you from the brink of death. He heard the doctor tell them that youwill never be able to dance again, the bullet landed too close to your spineand they had to put a metal rod in you to even save your life.

That still wasn’t the worst of it.

You had regained consciousness that morningbut Yoongi knew he could no longer stay by your side. He knows this will breakthe both of you, but he just wanted you to be alive and safe. He smirked at thecruelty of it all – the path he chose in life, the desire to become asuccessful rapper, the despair that even then he felt like nothing and themissteps of finding himself again within you. Life mocks people in the craziestways, it made him believe that there are happy endings and then it harshlyreminded him that his choices will never lead there.  

Every moment of those 27 days, he heardthat same voice telling him, “she’s gone now”. And he would hear his own voiceanswering, that it was all because of him.

—

He sat across the person who took awayeverything. He wished they would just perish together in this stone-walled roombut that would be too easy on her.

As if she always knew him, as if nothinghad happened, she asked about his day, what he had for lunch, what the weatheroutside was like, saying that she knows he hated sunny days. He didn’t answerher.

Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore, sheslammed her fists onto the table, rattling the hand cuffs resting on herwrists.

“Don’t you want to know why I did it?!”,she begged him, her eyes filling with tears.

“Why would I? Everybody has a reason.”,Yoongi said in his chilly demeanour.

“Every one of those people in there withyou had a reason, good or bad. But the moment you held a gun against adefenseless person, the moment you stooped so low as to do something a humanshould never do, all the reasons don’t matter anymore. You are nothing but acoward.”

“They said she didn’t even die.” Was shepleading for forgiveness? Or was she regretting that you didn’t die?  

Yoongi’s eyes pierced her dilated pupils ashe whispered his response.

“No… but I did.”

—

The world is truly a hopeless place.

Where the righteous hold sticks and standup against the evils holding guns

Where they tell you that love will triumphover hate

But love does not cheat, love does notkill, love does not take