im going to talk about my hiatus that happened when i said i was out of hiatus and then disappeared. here's a post where imma explain everything,

i cant remember if i said anything about it, but in 2022 i had a boyfriend that was young and dumb but also a toxic situation, also someone as in @wickizer who wants to beat the shit out of, yall know that, and that guy was technically my first ish ever boyfriend. we just dont talk about that one.

well, last year i mentioned how it was going to bed sad and whatever, but here is an inside look at the last two and halfish years of what was once a fairytale but it is now going to have a piece of me missing. in march april of 2024 i hooked up this guy i used to go to school with and thought it was gonna be a casual thing... well feelings happened and we began dating real quick. we fucking moved in with each other that ending of june beginning of july. i thought i legit found my forever person. i have never felt these emotions for someone before. someone who felt like actual home to me. everything was amazing, or maybe hes good at lying and here it fucking goes. i should've left when this happened but i was scared of losing someone as my best friend, my forever. yall know how it goes, a new bitch started at his job and he was secretly messaging her on snap and there was nothing that was alarming but why didn't you tell me typa thing and i believed him, turns out he did have a crush on her and its dawning on me rn. i found this out october/november 2024 time and was trying to be cool with it, didnt listen to my gut feeling, i then got sick of it in june of 2025. and called it off when i seen that was talking to her still and talking shit on me to this bitch and him replying 'damn' to her snapstory photo shoot she was doing. btw im calling her a bitch is because she knew i didn't like them texting and me telling him to stop talking to her because its not being insecure or crazy, but wtf are you forming streaks with her on snapchat and talking to her outside of work. whatever, i went fucking batshit crazy in january of 2025 with her present and lmk, my mom said she saw the her in her come out and was shocked lmao (imma be honest, a crazy side came out of me and im a very quiet person and cant stand up for myself in general),

well, i decided to give the fucker a second chance and he said that give him a year living on his own and we can start over but move slower since in the beginning we did move in after dating for like not even 2 months, well, that fucking year was a wasted year, why? my friend who was curious on if his friend was telling the truth about him having a tinder for a while now 3 weeks ago, i had people looking for it. and he did. and the whole time throughout the year is that at any point he doesnt want to do this anymore to tell me and itll hurt, but don't lead me on. id rather be hurt by the truth than be devastated by lies. and... they found it. and answered why he was ignoring me for like 2 weeks, first week talkative but different, but that next week he was straight up ignoring me. so i was mentally preparing myself for the end. what finally made me walk away was when i was bawling my eyes out to him, begging him to choose me and to be honest with me, asking him why couldnt he just be honest and what this whole year thing was,.. while all of that, he was laughing at me dead in the face, calling me bipolar, and so many hurtful things. and when i asked for him to give me a hug just one last time, and his response was only if i let him fuck me... and when i said no he said he wouldnt have anyways.

so when i came back the first time, is when he began begging for me again and wanting me and wanting to work on things and just give him a year to live on his own. it feels like everythings been a lie you guys. he was talking about marriage, future, me, us, and one day he snapped. like where did my sweet baby go who i thought cared for me, because im wondering was this just a sick game? how the fuck am i supposed to do love ever again. well, you know who wouldnt fuck me over? my babies in BTS and doing different scenarios that ive seen from the masked men side and bikertok. it seems to have lit a spark in me again from this heartbreak. so, ive been making small notes on everything and am also asking

so, i know i have written about split!aus (more to come) mafia!aus, im wanting drabble into smut and have tried it, but i think now i have the confidence for some pretty interesting things. now, i dont know why im asking, i dont know if my page is still exisiting to you guys or have a following sitll, but i did owe youu all an apology and feel like everything i did get out before didnt seem to get enough attention, but some things are gonna change on here. ive read a few books tho that involve stalking and masked men (iykyk)

anyways, that's it. i do have shit in the works. never trust men with your heart, idk if imma ever recover from this shit but i hope my writing will.

Mafia!Au Split!Personality!Au

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Summary: you are out with your boyfriend and a man decided it was a good idea to hit on you, well… that did not end well for them.

Warnings: violence,, (aka, mafia themes and talk of death and acts of violence and violent themese) some sexual themes, angst, fluff towards reader because they’re the boys worlds, split personality disorder, and yeah, im back bitches.

W.C.: 1.2k

Notes: what’s up everybody, I hope you all enjoy this series!

Mafia!Au SplitPersonality!Au

Summary: you are out with your boyfriend and a man decided it was a good idea to hit on you, well… that did not end well for them.

⇢ Regular Masterlist

⇢ BTS Masterlist

Updated: 09/28/2025

Split!PersonalityAu Mafia!Au

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x Female!Reader

Summary: you are out with your boyfriend and a man decided it was a good idea to hit on you, well… that did not end well for them.

Warnings: violence,, (aka, mafia themes and talk of death and acts of violence and violent themes), mature, some sexual themes, angst, fluff towards reader because they’re the boys worlds, split personality

W.C.: 1.1k

Notes: what’s up everybody, I hope you all enjoy this series!

This is a mini series and was originally going to be an actual reaction!post but it became really long and thought why not make this an actual series. so, here you go! im going to be making a master list for this! that will be coming here shortly. also, yes, i was mia for awhile. work, depression, and lack of good night of sleep has made it hard to get to writing and posting. dont worry, im still here! enjoy!

But this man had completely blind sided me (typical boy moves lmao), but he made me question my worth. He made me at a point believe that no one will prioritize me and be important to anyone. That’s bullshit. I am worthy, I am important, and I believe one day I will find the person who will erase that thought process. I’m heartbroken as fuck right now so some of the aus! Will have a lot of emotion to it. A lot of severely negative talk, but the art of writing (to me) is writing a character who will erase these emotions that I’m feeling. Knowing how I want the story to end, and in these scenarios they will have my happy ending, and I may throw in a long au that may have a bad ending, but I’ll play with it.

I believe that this betrayal that I just had from the man who I thought was my soulmate sparked the Justcallmenikki7 in me again; because I have completely lost myself by loving a man so much to the point I lost myself. And this is a new beginning for me.

I have stuff in the works, but once I take my day off from work, you bet your ass I’m going to be writing. And I will eventually open up my requests.

I love you all, I love the support that I’ve gotten in the last day from me coming out of Hiatus.

BABY I MET FUCKING PENGUIN, UNFORTUNATELY IVY WAS BUSY, SO I COULD NOT MEET HER.

I’m writing this to give you all, the ones who are still here even tho I’ve been basically hiatus for a while now, with some posts here and there. You probably all, also, saw this coming, but I’m sadly done writing.

God, im crying lmao.

Anyways, I realized after constantly trying to write something, outline, everything, I couldn’t write anymore. Maybe it’s because I went through a severe abusive relationship at the beginning of April 2022 to the end of November of 2022, and it completely changed me as a person. I lost a lot of love, likes, whatever you may call it, from that relationship. It changed me, and one of the things it changed in me was my love for writing. My spark isn’t here anymore, and I’ve been trying to hold on for the last possible year and a half for you guys, but it hasn’t happened. I’m afraid of change, I’m afraid of letting go, and have a bad time of accepting the fact that i mayve grown out of a phase, you know? My love for the boys will always be there, always.

What has also caused me lots of stress, and is a sign of losing my spark, has been trying to write and come up with ideas, and creat stories for those who have messaged me privately, and I feel terrible for not being able to do that, and I hate breaking promises/not keeping my word because I wanted to make you guys happy, and I’ve failed those individuals. I’m sorry for not finishing those requests, and I’m sorry that I never actually started them because I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to make you happy, but I couldn’t get anything out and so I sat for the longest time, trying to get a good paragraph, or in a general a sentence out, but i couldn’t and I didn’t.

And I’ve sadly relapsed the other night after almost 2 years of being clean from s/h. My depression has been in the dumps, and even tho I have so many positives going on in my life and such amazing people, and an amazing partner, my mental health is deteriorating and I need to focus on myself.

I know I’ve once done a short hiatus before and came back because sometimes a small break is good to have, but sometimes all things must come to an end, and I’m officially closing my chapter with tumblr and writing for good.

I’ve made a couple of friends on here, and those friends I want to address real quickly and say my peace.

@wickizer , girl you know everything and ily

@minniepetals . My gosh, I remember reading your story String of Fate when it first came out, and I swore up and down, still today I do, that it’ll be published in the hall of fame. Despite it being on its hiatus, it’s still the best story so far. You deserve an award for your writing, and your story Cry Me A River is such an amazing masterpiece. I’ve been meaning to read it all, but life has gotten in the way and I’m so proud of you. Even tho we haven’t talked in the longest time, I’m still cheering you on, on here and outside of tumblr.

@aft3rhrs . Love, you’re amazing and I hope you take care of yourself and take time for yourself. Self love and self kindness is a priority and make yourself a priority. Your writing is beautiful and I’m glad we befriended each other. I’m cheering you on, and always will. Thank you for being a kind person.

And every other writer that I bonded with on here, I love you and will be a huge cheerleader for you. To those who I reached out to when I was still new for advice, or for me to fangirl to, thank you for being kind and helpful.

And to my followers, the ones who cheered me on to keep writing when I first joined tumblr, thank you for being kind and supportive. I love each and every single one of you. You made this place a safe place for the longest time, and I’m thankful for all of you.

I’m sorry for the longest apology and me basically dumping my issues on here, I just needed to be honest with you all. I didn’t want this to sound like a ‘poor me’ ‘feel sorry for me’ but I needed to, like I said before, be honest with you.

This is scary for me, but this is me saying goodbye.