I've been wondering for a while, did CRWBY know about your interest in Robin Hood when creating the huntresses/casting you, or was it just the most serendipitous coincidence?
I’ve talked about this before! The answer is... it was a complete coincidence. A happy one! But a complete coincidence.
I usually am someone who, and I say this to my partner a lot, find myself as “A Fandom Of One.” My interests are mine and mine alone. The more people involved the messier things could get and I really didn’t enjoy the idea of losing something I loved because of someone else.
And... actually I kept a lot of myself to uh... myself. Not just enjoyment but everything.
Coming out was scary and I ended up closing myself off more in a lot of ways that only ended up hurting me.
You all see me as someone who is really open and out there but... I wasn’t always like that. I was too afraid to be me even after I finally said to the world who I was.
When I saw the casting call I was super excited to see the characters I loved come to life in a new way but I had decided I was not in the mindset to audition for a lot of reasons...
I actually don’t think I’ve talked about this part much, actually.
The biggest reason was that I was deciding on if I should give up doing VO entirely because hey being trans and working in the entertainment industry is not easy and sucks and people don’t take you seriously and... none of that has really changed.
After years of “You don’t sound like a woman” or “we just don’t know how to cast people like you” or “it wouldn’t be right having you voice a guy since you identify as a female” etc ... I just... I couldn’t keep it up. It was hurting me so much that I began to feel less and less, I dunno, human in the eyes of the people around me.
(Note: None of these things came from RT, it was all from projects unrelated to RT.)
But because of that I had lost all confidence in my voice, in myself entirely actually, and was talking with several people close to me (and a therapist) about finally giving up on the dream and just finding... something else, anything else, as a distraction from it... or just burying my head in the sand and doing the day-to-day and nothing more.
I was done. Completely and utterly done. Dreams were for suckers. Nothing was going to change, nothing I did mattered, so why even bother trying anymore.
Yeah well, jokes on me because two weeks before RTX 2019 Kerry and Miles approached me asking me to audition for May.
I was... happy to have them approach me but I probably came off as abrasive and annoyed... again, I was BUSY, I had a lot of work on my plate AND I was having several existential crisis at the same time... but they wanted to hear me audition so, I did.
When they told me I got the role I broke down and cried for hours... every time I thought about it I’d begin to sob... and then I recorded May’s very first lines just days before RTX 2019 and it was finally real.
...and the rest is history, I guess.
Never thought I’d see the day, honestly. But hey, now we’re here.
So uhhhh... TLDR, actually only my partner and a few close friends knew I was a huge Robin Hood fan until recently. Guess there was still little bits of shell left on my shoulders even after all this time. Whoops.
