itโs been so long since iโve been on here and honestly i didnโt ever think i was gonna come back. i donโt know if the people i met or the friends i made on here are still here but if u guys are still here then i just wanna give everyone a big hug.
nothing feels the same anymore. it feels as if my whole world has been snatched away from me and thereโs such a big gap in me thatโs sadly never gonna be filled. i feel so empty and numb and regardless of having gone thru something similar before it still hurts so much.. itโs so painful. i end up crying whenever i see him but at the same time i end up going to search for him on my own bc iโm still not ready to let go of him yet and iโm scared that if i donโt end up seeking him then heโll just be a memory somewhere along the line and i donโt want him to be that, just a memory. iโm so scared of losing him and him just disappearing slowly and the world moving forward as the days goes on as if nothing happened. as if he didnโt even exist in the first place.. i know the pain is gonna lessen as the years goes on but i donโt think iโll ever be ready to say bye to him fully.. like iโm still feeling so numb i donโt think i even wanna fully accept that heโs just not here anymore.
my heart truly goes out to anyone who knew him and to everyone who loved him. he truly was such a wonderful person. someone who gave many warmth and im gonna miss that smile of his so badly. the smile that cheered so many of us. gonna miss his goofy sides too :โ) i just miss him so much..
and like i said before idk how many of u guys are still here, especially the 2017 tumblr aroha moots, but if u are here pls donโt hesitate to reach out to me ๐ค i guess grieving together is gonna be a little bit bearable than grieving alone so yeah feel free to come talk to me tho iโm not sure if iโll be able to respond immediately cause everything sucks and hurts so bad haha but iโm trying my best and i hope u guys will also try ur best and try to take care of urselves ๐ซ sending hugs and love to all of u
