#yikes.org

anger  dances  ripe  ‘  pon  his  tongue  ,  snake  eyes  fixating  on  this  woman  :  what  did  she  want  ,  hold  so  frailly  that  she’d  drop  it  for  his  whims  ?  even  with  resentment  shining  through  the  crowd  ‘  s  eyes  ,  he’d  not  fall  to  his  knees  again  :  others  could  do  that  for  him  ,  her  too  if  she  so  wished  .  if  she  wouldn’t  claw  her  way  towards  her  goals  ,  were  they  truly  her  goals  at  all  ?  sacrifice  ,  sacrifice  ,  sacrifice  :  dignity  and  death  ,  the  non  -  believers  huddled  in  the  inn  .  break  it  to  pieces  ,  your  own  body  if  need  be  . 

“  fuck  ,  why  are  you  so  determined  to  follow  me  around  like  a  puppy  ?  “

Fingers shake as he rehearses in his head what he needs to say. His whole body hasn’t stopped trembling since he made his decision and maybe it’s just the pain meds but he’s sure it’s fear. His mom won’t look him in the eye, and he doesn’t even know how to begin this conversation. Standing in the other boy’s bedroom, the boy who he loves so dearly. How can he say this? How can he finally turn this into their reality? How can he break both of their hearts? And even more so how can he actually ask this of Bobby? This incredible favor. Ask him to leave behind everything he knows. Ask him to pretend to be happy for a few months. It’s inhumane. But maybe Max feels a little less human and a little more like a ghost these days. So he raises his hands to begin his speech. No going back now. “Bobby, the treatment isn’t working. And I don’t want to continue with it.”