#year ender

Ahhh, 2019. What a struggle. What a year. What a mess.

Honestly, starting this post has found me speechless for I don't know how I can really describe 2019. Maybe, it's a year full of stressful rides of rollercoaster emotions and unsolicited plot twists. Maybe, it's a jeopardy for my faint heart. Or maybe, it's a spontaneous reminder for me that life is too short but also precious at the same time. I'll never know.

Reviewing my 2018 year ender post, it was a review of wins and plot twists. While having a fair share of such for 2019, I can say that this year has been tougher for me. For one, I got busier. As in, crazy busy. This blog is an evidence of how busy I was this 2019, especially in the later parts of the year. I can't believe (and maybe, I'll find it hard to forgive myself) that I set aside writing for myself as I chase my dream of becoming a professional writer. Yes, even though I'm already working as one for the past two and a half years (almost), I still have to chase that dream. After all, I'm considered to be a young-bearing fruit in the industry, let alone in my company. I have to prove myself everyday at work, and that's where the struggle begins.

2019 is a battle of the unknown. I think I've never been this uncertain in things, and that scared me a lot. I got myself and my heart bruised this year. I've had loads of stuff in my plate but I still let procrastination and laziness rule over me. My passion for creating things stopped burning. I'm a mess and trapped in the middle of the chaos of surviving everyday. Saying that it's difficult is an understatement - it has been more difficult that I can put it into words. Thankfully, I made it.

My 2017 was... (A Year Ender Blog Entry)

      Pano ko ba mailalarawan ang taon na ito? siguro 'yung da best representation ng taon na 'to ay 'yung noong sumama ako sa outing ng tropa ko sa Laguna.

      This year has a lot of ups and downs for me, it's like hiking on a mountain, it's more of striving to reach the end of the path, meeting the summit and discovering the beginning of everything, where water falls to the ground, flows down to form a river and ends up somewhere to make a lake. (Oh Man, it's not easy to get there, I can tell.) This year has been so tough and brought me instances that gave some chills to my bones.

      I got tired several times, dumadating 'yung point na nalilimutan kong pwede nga palang magpahinga kapag napapagod na. Tinuruan ako ng mga pangyayari na pumili sa dalawa, "Ang huminto at bumalik na lang kung 'di na kaya" o "Magpapahinga sandali at itutuloy ang lahat dahil kakayanin naman." Dahil malayo pa ang destinasyon, pinayuhan ako ng kaibigan na maglagay ng malamig na tubig sa batok para manatiling kalmado. Pero minsan kailangan ko lang talagang mabatukan para matauhan. Ang punto? Chill lang (na aaminin kong hindi ko pa rin magawa)

      I almost gave up, I get intimidated, looking at the course and how dangerous it was, how steep and slippy it was, so it made me feel unsecured if it's worth to take the step or not. Every occurring situation has a risk, win or lose, make or break, pero tinuloy ko pa rin, kahit ilan sa mga desisyon na 'yon ang bumigo sa'kin. Oo, nadapa ako ngayong taon, nadulas ng maraming beses, ngunit bumangon ako at sumubok ulit ng panibagong hakbang. Hanggang sa 'di ko namalayang nalagpasan ko pala ang ilan. I almost die trying, pero sabi ko, minsan ko lang susubukan ang mga 'to, wala akong mararanasan kung aatras pa 'ko. You didn’t know I almost die, you didn’t know.

      Yes, sometimes, things may not happen according to what was planned. Delay and dismay, these are the things that would try to stop us. These would tempt you to choose what's the opposite of your goals, and if you mistakenly fall to it, you'll end up sitting under the shade of a rock like a mushroom, only waiting for the time to die. My conscience said: "Hey, you're not some kind of a rooted creature, you have feet, so move." I learned that, you have to try until you see what's on the other side of that mountain and realize how wonderful things are down there.

      I'm glad that I'm here now, I made it, matatapos ko ang taon ng may payapang isip. So for the amazing adventure I've been and for the greatest people who stay beside me, thank you for the joy and fun, for the sweat and tears. Gusto ko pang gumawa ng maraming alaala kasama kayo at kung maipagkakaloob ng itaas, sana kasama s'ya. Dahil ang mga alaala ay parang talon, aagos hanggang sa mawala ang nasa mababaw ngunit ang nasa malalim na bahagi ay mananatili.

      I'm Looking forward for the brand new journey this 2018, and hopefully, enable myself to use the lessons gained from yesteryear.

      2017 is a year of trying and finding luck through the fog of uncertainty.

      2018? 'di ko alam ang gagawin sa'kin ng bagong taon, pero gagalingan ko na lang!

Oh wow! We’re down on the last few hours of 2018 and I still can’t believe that 2018 is already ending. This year has been so emotional for me that there are parts of it that I cannot even remember now, unless I see a picture or read a tweet about it.

If 2017 was the year of transitions for me, I’ve been moved in all aspects for this year then. I’ve read from one of my previous blog post that I wanted for this year to be consistent - “For 2018, I crave for consistency.” The craving remained to just be a craving because I sucked at being consistent for this year, and this has been evident on my planners alone. I jumped from one planner to the other, experimenting different layouts, styles, and systems, and I finally found my planner peace with a Hobonichi, which is an advanced Christmas gift from a planner friend. 

Speaking of planner friends, I found myself belonging to a small circle of planner girls who happened to have blossomed friendships with one another, and this year has become our year. From our love for planners and stickers (my favorite sticker shop is owned by one of these lovely girls!) up to sharing our life woes and achievements, we transformed from online strangers to real-time anchors of one another. We talk through chats everyday and we meet from time to time. I’m their “bunso” but the age gap doesn’t matter on us. I love that even though I have created a wall around me before, shielding me from the people around me as a form of protection, I learned to open up to them and develop a positive friendship with these ladies. Cheers to being a part of this year in each other’s lives, planner sisters!

This year has also been a rollercoaster ride of situation for me at work. I celebrated my first year anniversary at work and I was so busy up to the point that I even have to report at work earlier today (lol). Since January, I had a lot on my plate and when November entered, the things that I needed to do with my job doubled. I come home everyday very tired physically, emotionally, and mentally, and I feel like the happiness is being sapped away from my heart. I’m entering 2019 quite unsure with my career but I know that God has plans for me.

✨2025 faves✨

Currently Listening to: Futari - Oguri Cap(CV.Takayanagi Tomoyo) · Tamamo Cross(CV.Ozora Naomi) Umamusume Cinderella Gray 2nd Season ED Location: Canberra, Australia Mood: Aimless Welcome to the 19th iteration of my Year Ender post. I'm currently just at home here in Canberra, pondering whether to attend the fireworks in the city when it just rained... Anyhow, let’s do the 2025 edition of my year ender report! 1. It's been more than a year since I settled here in Canberra. While I'm supposedly settled nicely here, with a job and somehow doing my hobbies, I'm somewhat feeling aimless. I don't if it's due to finally being here, that I don't exactly know what to do next. Not to mention that Australia can be quite expensive, and that I don't feel I'm earning what I expect to earn. The weather also is something that I still can't get used to, being too cold for my liking. I guess there's also the feeling of loneliness, I might have playmates here with my hobbies, but I'm not exactly close to them for the most part. I guess I'm yearning to a genuine connection, but it seems to be hard for someone of my age. I guess I'm still adjusting, and it's taking a while to do so.

2. I feel that I need some sort of reset, I'm pretty much aimless lately. But the thing is, I don't know what's the next step. Let's see what comes up and hopefully I get out of this rut I'm currently having. 3. Health wise, I'm probably getting worse. I was able to resolve my tooth issue and and my hand issue, but later part of this year, I discovered that the ailment I had in Dubai was actually worse than anticipated. What I thought was indigestion was actually gallstones. Thankfully there's an option for a free public hospital surgery, but currently I don't know when will it be, and if the surgery might put a wrench to my travel plans and office attendance in general. It will occasionally cause a pain I can't ignore every now and then so I have to be vigilant that I might need to go to the ER. Hopefully this gets rectified soon. On the plus side, blood pressure seems to be not as high as I anticipated, and so far the blood chemistry is fine aside from the fatty liver issue. I really should get my act together and do some exercise.

4. Travel wise, I did go to places. I was able to visit Adelaide, which I find as a fun city. I'm really considering moving there, but we shall see. The fun part was visiting Japan again after 5 years, and being able to do a lot of anime pilgrimages there! (Mainly Yuru Camp, Hyouka, Garden of Words and some of Eman's anime). Aside from that, I was able to visit Singapore during the last part of 2024 and Kuala Lumpur during the last part of 2025. Just wondering though, with my health issue, I'm not sure how much I can travel. We shall see and hope I can manage.

5. TCG wise, I had two pretty good Springfest runs (both Top 8 in Melbourne and Manila) for Weiss Schwarz. I have started my BCS run in Kuala Lumpur but it ended in disaster unfortunately. Now I'm not sure if I can go to Manila and Singapore. And honestly, I'm kinda disillusioned with the game right now. I now think it's on the start of its decline and I was hoping I can get an invite to Worlds before it finally goes to oblivion. But with my current situation and current decks, I'm not sure anymore.

I also initially was OK with Grand Archive, even getting a 2nd place on a Regional in Adelaide. But not I'm finding the game a bit too expensive for me, and that my favoured decks are not doing well. In all honestly, I'm kinda considering quitting card games now, but let's see.

5. I'm not really liking the situation with my mom and my sister at the moment. I really can't do much about it, but hearing they're not getting along is stresses me out. I get it though why my mom is acting that way, my sister should have been more responsible for her actions, but alas, it seems she never changes. I can only see from here how things pan out.

7. Anime, Manga and Pop Culture stuff.

Anime and Manga wise, I was initially just watching a few shows here and there, but then my OHS friends had the idea of having an anime watch club in the later part of the year, and now I have watched more anime in the process. Pretty fun too to discuss about what we watched. Sumo-wise, not really as fervent as I used to, but I'm still updated somewhat. In a span of a year, Onosato became Yokozuna and Ukrainian Aonishki has just become Ozeki, after a very speedy run in the ranks. I guess we'll just see if Aonishiki goes even higher this year.

Currently Watching:

Symphogear - Currently going to S4

Planning to Watch: 

Frieren S2, Oshi no Ko S3,

Finished This Year:

Apothecary Diaries S2, Uma Musume: Cinderella Gray, Can a Boy-Girl Friendship Survive?, Mobile Suit Gundam: GQuuuuuuX, My Dress-Up Darling Season 2, The Fragrant Flower Blooms with Dignity, With You and the Rain, Mono the Animation, Campfire Cooking in Another World S2, Towa no Yugure, Idolmaster, 86, Girls und Panzer, 2.5 Jigen no Ririsa, Couple of Cuckoos S1, Ascendance of a Bookworm Rewatched This Year:  Honey and Clover Unfinished Anime:   The Fated Magical Princess: Who Made Me a Princess

Finished OVA/Movies:

Project Sekai Movie, Chainsaw Man – The Movie: Reze Arc, Look Back, Concierge at Hokkyoku Department Store

New Manga Read:

Kowloon Generic Romance

Finished Manga: Uma Musume: Cinderella Gray, After the Rain Other Stuff Watched:

Movies: Superman (2025), Thunderbolts, Muromachi Outsiders

Series: Invincible

New Games Played: Shadowverse: Worlds Beyond

8. Fulfilled (or not) Wishes

1. Better health – Unfortunately, while we solved some issues, a new one sprung up. 2. WS Worlds Invite – I will still try again, hopefully within 4 tries. I'll probably retire after this though.

3. Start camping – due to expenses, weather and health situation, this did not come to pass 4. Settle well in Australia – I'm still adjusting honestly

5. Travel to new places – While I haven't really travelled to new countries, visiting Japan and Kuala Lumpur again was nice.

New Wishes: 1. Better health – Hopefully we resolve the Gall Bladder issue soon. 2. WS Worlds Invite – Probably my final try. I was also attempting the content creator route, but I can't commit to it...