#yeah read it

Which is why I generally shy away from making posts about how I feel for the public to see.

But today something in my head was all, "yo, girl. You should go be gross on tumblr." and I was like "'ight, sound terrible."

now here I am.

...

So summer is always a hard time of year for me. Without the chaos of collage to distract/motivate me, I sit around in my room in silence while my mind ventures to dangerous places and my anxiety skyrockets. This leaves me with greater self-deprecation, an apathy for things I love, an art-block, and a constant headache.  

Not exactly you would call a relaxing break.

And after this last school year, god knows I fucking need one. Between Death and sickness in the family, falling out of love, up and downs with art, struggling with academics, copious amounts of drama, and being the ever willing vent, I NEED to find a way to calm down and enjoy myself.

But I can't and I'm honestly scared the stress will end up getting to me.

To sum it up, I'm feeling tired, lonely, and really, really lost. Being held right now sounds pretty nice.

So yeah, that's about it. Don't feel like I went into any detail about anything and probably none of it makes sense.