#yeah math

Falinks is pretty great, right? It’s a group of six different Pokemon that team up to form a stronger whole. I’ve talked about its competitive usage here, but making a set for it made me curious. What are the base stats for each individual Falink? 

Here are the base stats for Falinks as a whole.

It’d be easy enough to take those stats and divide them into six even parts, but that seems too easy, especially since the lead Falink is a little taller than the rest and clearly has a much bigger horn. 

So let’s assume that the lead Falink is 25% stronger than the others (because it’s an easy percentage to work with and there’s not really any way of determining exactly how much stronger it is). If it’s 25% stronger than the others, the lead Falink’s stats will account for 20% of an individual stat’s value, and the remaining 80% will be split between the other 5 Falink. So all we have to do it take an individual base stat, find 20% of that stat, and then split the remaining 80% in 5 even parts. Here’s what we get for the lead Falink (base stat total of 94)

And here’s the base Falink (base stat total of 75)

I rounded some of these results because I didn’t want to have things like 10.4 as a base stat, but it’s overall pretty inconsequential since the total for these stats are 469 and normally Falinks’ base stat total is 470.  This probably isn’t a surprise but Falink on their own are pretty horrible. It’s far weaker than Solo Wishiwashi, the Pokemon with the lowest base stat total.

Heaviest Heavy Slammer Ability: Heavy Metal (This Pokemon’s weight is doubled) Nature: Brave (+Atk, -Spe) Item: Leftovers (Restores 1/16th of the holders HP each turn) Moves: Heavy Slam - Evolve  Heat Crash - TR Earthquake - TR  Stone Edge - TR EVs: 252 Atk, 252 HP, 4 Def 

Another one of my favorite Pokemon from Sword and Shield. Copperajah absolutely floored everything during my run thanks to Heavy Slam. In case you didn’t know, Heavy Slam does more damage the more the user weighs compared to the target. 

At its hefty 1,433.0 lbs./650.0 kg, there isn’t much that’s heavier than Copperajah. And then I saw its Hidden Ability  HEAVY METAL. DOUBLES THE POKEMON’S WEIGHT

Now that 1,433.0 lbs./650.0 kg is an astonishing 2,866 lbs./1,300 kg!  IT’S THE HEAVIEST THING IN THE GAME

Seriously, it’s heavier than Celestella and Cosmoem.  Because of this, any Pokemon that weighs less than 573.2 lbs./260 kg (20% of Copperjah’s new weight) is going to take the full 120 base power damage from Heavy Slam. And most of these super heavy Pokemon aren’t even in the game any more thanks to Dexit. Celesteela? Gone. Groudon? Gone. Metagross? Guzzlord? Stakataka? Giratina? Mega Steelix? Adios. There’s a few heavy Pokemon in the game that will actually take super-effective damage from Heavy Slam despite being on the chunky side, like Stonjourner and Avalugg.

Heat Crash calculates damage the same way but deals Fire-type damage. Bring it for crunchy coverage. 

Eruption Choice Scarf

Ability: Flash Fire - Grants immunity to Fire and increases the damage of all Fire-type moves by 50% when hit by a Fire move Nature: Hasty (+Spe, -Def) Item: Choice Scarf (Raises Speed by 50% but locks the user into a single move) Moves: Eruption (Level 82) Fire Blast (Level 9) Focus Blast (TM 89) Wild Charge (TM 93) EVs: 252 Atk, 252 Spe, 4 Def

Eruption is Typhlosion’s go-to move on this set since it sports an astounding 150 base power when Typhlosion is at full HP. While the move is strong initially its power will decrease relative to how much HP Typhlosion has lost so it’s important to try and keep Typhlosion is the best shape possible.

A Choice Scarf will give Typhlosion some much-appreciated Speed and give Typhlosion a better chance of avoiding any damage from Pokemon that would normally be faster than it.

Focus Blast will give Typhlosion some much-needed type coverage for Steel and Rock types and Typhlosion’s Attack stat is good enough to make use of Wild Charge for threatening Water-types and should come as a nasty surprise for most opponents. The Hasty nature will help with this as well since a Timid one would lessen how much damage Wild Charge could do. 

Try to switch Typhlosion into a Fire-type attack whenever possible to activate Flash Fire and do even more damage with Eruption.

LONG-WINDED ERUPTION MATH

Because of how Eruption’s damage is calculated Fire Blast should be used once Typhlosion has lost 27% of its HP.

So if Typhlosion loses more than 27% of its maximum HP the power of Eruption will drop to about 109 and be weaker than Fire Blast. A level 50 Typhlosion with HP of 31 IVs and 0 EVs will hit 185 HP, so switch to Fire Blast once its HP drops below 135. YEAH, MATH

Just Don’t Ability: Levitate (This Pokemon is immune to Ground-type moves and the effects of Spikes, Toxic Spikes, and Sticky Web. Arena Trap will not prevent this Pokemon from Switching) Nature: Timid (+Spe, -Atk) Item: Choice Scarf (Increases the user’s Speed by 1.5x and locks them into the first move they use) Moves: Hidden Power-Ice/Electric/Psychic (This is the only move this sad excuse of a Pokemon can learn) EVs: 252 Sp Atk, 252 Spe, 4 Sp Def 

Let me tell you about Unown. Unown can't breed. You might think that’s because Unown is genderless, but plenty of other genderless Pokemon can breed including Metagross, Electrode, Golurk, and everyone’s favorite breeding machine, Ditto. Unown is the exception because Unown is living garbage and it hates you and does everything in its power to make sure you know that.

The only way to somewhat reliably get a Unown with decent IVs is to chain them using the DexNav in ORAS. Well that’s easy enough, right? Just head to the place they spawn and start changing. 

WELL IT’S NOT THAT EASY, HYPOTHETICAL OTHER HALF OF THIS CONVERSATION. 

Unown can only be found in one of the twenty-four Mirage Spots accessible in ORAS. Don’t worry, the order they spawn in is completely random and follows no pattern whatsoever.  But lo and behold, after three weeks of checking Mirage Spots the right one has finally appeared. You’ll need a Pokemon with a Timid nature and the Ability Synchronize. The games don’t tell you this, but if a Pokemon with the Ability Synchronize leads your party Pokemon you encounter will have a 50% chance to have that same Nature as the Pokemon with Synchronize. 

Now all you have to do is encounter 100 of the eyeball glyphs to have the DexNav reach its highest search level for Unown and give it the best chance of finding Unown with guaranteed 3 perfect Ivs. All we really need is perfect Special Attack and perfect Speed. BUT EVEN IF YOU GET THOSE YOU STILL HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HIDDEN POWER’S TYPE BECAUSE IT’S THE ONLY MOVE UNOWN LEARNS AND-

JUST

GOOD LUCK, KIDDO

IT’S TYPE IS DETERMINED BY IVS WHICH YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER 

The main three I’d recommend are Psychic (for STAB), Ice (for the many Pokemon that will take x4 damage from it, and Electric (for fucking Gyarados, I dunno) Alright so you finally got the best Unown you could hope you. It’s Timid, perfect Special Attack, Special Defense, and Speed. It even got the Hidden Power type you wanted, Ice! Lets use it in battle and see just how much damage it can d-

oh my god it couldn’t even OHKO when doing x4 damage

You were not worth the effort in any way, shape, or form, Omega.

At least the endless chaining allowed me to catch all the different Unown forms.