“all I wanted was to see everything you see in me”
tags: caleb x non!mc reader, they are in their final year of highschool, pathetic caleb, inexperienced caleb, fluff and a touch of angst (this lowk is part 1 so more tags added later maybe!!)
word count: 1.6k
art by @… I’m so sorry but I could NOT find the OG artist for the life of me, so if u know pls lmk!! (other pics off of pinterest)
Caleb never had to struggle with revising, and the topics learnt in class typically came easy to him. He had designated time periods for focused work and was good at keeping to a schedule. Studying was his lifeline, his escape from Grandma Josephine, and the only way he could provide for MC, and yet… when his routine was disrupted, his sense of normalcy destroyed, he wasn’t as worried as he thought he may be.
She was a breath of fresh air—the only one he could truly relax around. He didn’t have to be the protective Caleb, sacrificing his own life to uplift MC’s; he didn’t have to be the reliable upperclassman, handing out his old notes and offering to play basketball when they were missing a player ; he didn’t have to be the exemplar student, handing in all of his homework on time, and kissing up to teachers for extra academic validation. With her, his robin, he could be just Caleb, slightly annoying, really corny (according to her), and a little clumsy.
He didn’t feel a need to pretend to be some perfect man that didn’t truly exist, so when she first started to ask for help with school, he jokingly uttered, “Why should I?” wriggling his eyebrows to irritate her. To this, she pressed both hands together, squeezed her eyes shut, and pleaded for his assistance. He always planned to help her anyway, so quickly gave in, and their study sessions began.
The first study session took place in a chain cafe, and Caleb arrived an hour early, ordering a lemonade and two apple pastries for the pair to share once she arrived. He took the time to review his own notes, making up for lost time spent tutoring her, and became quickly engrossed in his physics mindmaps. Maybe that’s why, when she arrived, his heart dropped a little. He was just surprised, so focused on his work that the presence of another person shocked him. That could probably also explain why his throat became dry, he forgot how to form a proper sentence, and time seemed to slow down.
She pushed open the cafe door, almost tripping on the mat in front of her, and quickly locked eyes with Caleb. Her eyes began to sparkle in the sunlight, and her glossy hair bounced as she waved at him. The off-the-shoulder top revealed the strap of her purple bra, and Caleb tried his hardest to pretend like he wasn’t staring, like an exposed shoulder wasn’t heating his cheeks. He was a guy in his final year of high school, an 18-year-old man, not some prepubescent boy that had never seen a girl’s shoulder before. He needed to get a grip.
Grabbing the seat in front of him, she pulled it round, right next to his own chair, and a faint aroma of vanilla and coconut and everything perfect wafted around his nostrils making the drumming in his chest even louder. Maybe the cafe was a bit too warm, it was a summer day with some light breeze, but in a confined, cramped space like this, it was only normal the humidity would get to him.
“What are we starting with?” She hummed, her bare arm brushing his own. Focus.
“W-what? Oh… right. Well, I was doing physics so we can continue with that if you would like.” Caleb stuttered, clearing his throat before reaching for his drink.
“Awwww, Caleb you’re such a cutie!” She squealed, reaching her manicured fingers to pinch his cheeks. He was going to die in this cafe.
“H-huh?” A confused sound left Caleb’s lips and he wondered if he had been caught before she picked up the pastry in front of them.
“How’d you know I liked these? You’re so attentive!”
“I got them ‘cause I liked them. They were doing a buy-one-get-one-free deal, so I couldn’t pass up on the opportunity.” Caleb shrugged, managing to regain some more of his composure.
He always had a bad habit of lying to cover up his thoughtfulness. The idea of someone, especially someone like her, figuring out how much effort he put into helping others embarrassed him greatly. There was nothing more humiliating than someone finding out he wasn’t naturally perfect, that his manufactured image was exactly that—manufactured. He could reveal more of his true self around her, let his guard down a little, but if she ever figured out how much he cared for her, then the mortification would send him to an early grave. He was grateful to even be able to tease her, voicing his true feelings about a skirt she wants to buy, or calling a guy she found attractive “an anomaly that crawled onto the earth”—but if she knew how pathetic he really was, how fast he would toss any sense of dignity or shame out the window if she felt the same, she wouldn’t be able to see him the same anymore.
“Oh, haha. Very funny. Why would they do a deal like that at a chain cafe? It’s a shame, you’re getting muuuuch worse at lying. Maybe I can tutor you for that, it’s my field of expertise.” She lets out a fake laugh, then tilts her head to face him with a slight grin and squinted eyes. She should stop that. Doesn’t she know how dangerous that is for his sanity?
What were they even here for anyway, a date? He prayed to God that would be the case, but quickly remembered their looming finals. Of course.
“Lying won’t get you good grades, robin.” Caleb teased.
“Ugh, you’re still calling me that? I’m not some bird y’know.” She scowled, taking a large bite out of the pastry on the plate.
“Yet you’re always tweetin’ like one. Last time I checked, our exams are non-verbal. Let’s focus on the task at hand, ‘kay?” Caleb scoffed, enjoying riling her up. He quickly took control of the situation because he was here to study, not kind-of-not-really flirt with the girl he’s been in love with for the past 3 years.
Even if he wanted to focus, he couldn’t. Every few minutes, her arm would bump against his, but she made no attempt to move further away. The cafe wasn’t particularly loud, just slightly busy with light jazz playing through the speakers, and yet, whenever she had a question, she would whisper it into his ear and it drove him insane. She kept on repeating, “Am I doing it right?” while blinking her long, wispy eyelashes at him, and with every blink it felt like he was falling more and more in love with her.
By the end of the session, he couldn’t remember anything he had said, and the most work he had gotten done occurred in the hour she was absent. He made a mental note to revise more at home, and walked her back to the train station, taking a seat next to her when it was revealed her train would be delayed.
“Just my luck!” She scoffed. But to him, this really was a lucky occurrence.
He hadn’t wanted to go back to being perfect Caleb just yet. He wanted to continue laughing at childish jokes and irritating the girl he loved.
“Yeah… I guess.” Caleb shrugged, holding the bag that he took from her in his arms, a gesture that he could write off as simply being “a good friend”.
“Caleb, after finals are over we should—“ her words were interrupted by the ringing of his phone.
He mutters a quick apology, and his eyes widen when he sees the contact. It’s MC.
Squeezing as much cheer as possible into his voice, Caleb picks up, “Hey pips! What’s up? I’m on my way home now.”
He notices how she almost shrinks, how their legs no longer touch, how she pretends to focus on the other trains on the tracks. A small part of him wishes he hadn’t picked up, but a larger, more filial part of him is glad that he did.
“Caleeeeeeb… I’m in so much pain right now.” MC’s voice groans on the line, and a sense of panic reverberates through his body.
Did she break something? Was she sick? Or maybe it was a migraine, something he would have to pick up medicine for?
“Did you injure somethin’? How bad’s the pain? Need me to make it go away?” Caleb tried to hide the worry in his voice, scared that showing his fear would make her feel more panicked.
“My cramps… they hurt so bad… Granny’s out right now and I don’t think I can make it to the store myself so could you please pick up some painkillers on your way back?” MC manages to force out the last few words, the pain making it difficult for her to manage.
A sigh of relief escapes Caleb’s lips, he could only thank God that it wasn’t anything that couldn’t be fixed with some medicine and good rest. He thought about picking up some ingredients to make bone broth soup, and makes a note to centre their breakfast around red meat for tomorrow morning.
Ending the call, Caleb reassures MC that she’ll be fine and “her Caleb” will make it all better. To that, the girl gets up, brushing her hands on her jeans and lets him know that he can go if it’s urgent.
“You sure? We can call until you get on the train if you want? I still have to run a couple of errands and you didn’t get to finish before.” Caleb hurriedly gets up too, then hands her the bag.
“Yeah, really. That was MC right? Sounded pretty serious, wouldn’t want to get in the way.” She retorts, already facing away from him.
Caleb notices a change in attitude, but chooses not to comment on it. Already preoccupied with MC’s request, he rushes away telling her to call him when she gets home only to receive a noncommittal response.
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a/n: woah hey haha… I was supposed to upload this like a month ago but I legit started writing this mid-exam period, very very silly of me. this draft has been marinating in my inbox and the more I stare at it the more I want to change so!!! i just uploaded it instead!!! pls enjoy and lmk if a part 2 is desired ><
side note: the title is taken from “all I did was dream of you” by beabadoobee and the marias!! life has been KILLINGGGG me recently and looking over this did lowk help! so!!
