#yarn talks

10 years I've hoarded this yarn and wanted to finally fulfill its purpose by making the sweater, in a way that i could wear it. I know much more about knitting now, so it wasn't long before I realised that the 10 balls would never ever be enough for what I have in mind.

In my quest to find more of this discontinued yarn I stumbled across a small shop that still had it! I ordered everything that was left (another 10 balls), she sent it the same day, and today I got it. I ripped into the package gleefully... only to realise I'd gotten the right yarn, but wrong color 🥹 (I'd ordered reddish brown, got mustardy yellow).

I called the shop, and it really was a small business, she could remember from what I'd ordered who I was, lmao. She was super sweet and told me it was completely her fault and she would send the right one the next morning. And because it was her mistake, I could keep the yellow yarn 🥺

I of course asked if she was sure because wow, that was not my intention at ALL and it was no problem for me to return it, but she insisted 🥹

I sent an email later in the day with photographic evidence (because I felt kinda weird about getting a replacement order without proving it had been a different color) and again offered to return the yellow yarn. But she stuck by it so long story short, my red yarn is coming tomorrow and she insists I keep the yellow too 🥹

The first time I thought about the concept of loss, in depth, was while watching a video by Stampy. He was a cornerstone in my childhood, the reason I fell in love with Minecraft and found myself in the yt community for it. I realized one day I wouldn’t be able to get on my tablet and hear a newly exciting “Helloooo Everybody!” And I broke into tears.

Stampy, Aphmau, Dantdm, Thinknoodles, these people practically helped raise me, and I don’t watch any of their content regularly anymore but I know the world will break just a little bit for me when we loose them.

Grief and connection are very much tied to experiences for me, and I think it says something that even today, when I dont watch Stampy or haven’t heard that greeting daily in years; when I never really clicked onto a Techno stream for longer then 15 minutes, the thought of the world not getting more of these moments and experiences saddens me.