hot girls reread young & beautiful by velvetoscar every few years and make it their whole personality

I read Young & Beautiful when I was 15 (maybe 14? Can't remember exactly) and as any good young queer person having an identity crisis would do, obsessed over it and made it my entire personality. This would be almost funny if I didn't let it inform the following 3 years of my life, leading me to make formative choices in my late teens that would ultimately define the next near-decade of my life. I cannot explain the grip that this fic had has on me, but at this point I've read it probably close to 15 times, and just re-read it recently for the first time in at least a couple of years, in an effort to find some sort of comfort after Liam (which is a whole other crisis inducing can of worms). There's no point to this post beyond just shouting into the void about a very niche interest/obsession. Other than, of course, wondering how someone can write something so perfect, that I genuinely forget it's fanfic sometimes. ANYWAYS.

listening to lana del ray songs make me feel like ik i am sad but atleast i am the main character and i look pretty