#xiel posts

This crime happens to be @dragonfly-the-twink‘s fricken son, Dragonfly, being too cute that it almost killed me.

-All of us got a discord. -Made a group chat named “The Disaster Gays” talked a whole bunch on there (12 AM - 3 AM EST) -Everyone started helping me make a TF OC -We spent a half hour trying to figure out how old bots were during G1-G2 -Spent another half hour figuring out heights -We managed to get me to figure everything out except the personality -People started to head off to bed -I sent Dragonfly pictures of Pharma and Tarma -Dragonfly and I shared personal shit until 4:20 AM (EST)

So last year I was going through a really tough time of gender dysphoria. If you don’t know what that is, it’s definition is: “the condition of feeling one's emotional and psychological identity as male or female to be opposite to one's biological sex.” Well, I’m non-binary, ya’know, that gender that doesn’t exist. So most of the year, I was avoiding the LGBT+ club as it was really bad. Pretty much anyone who wasn’t trans or gay was bullied there despite it being ‘a safe place.’

So the entire year I was struggling mentally to figure out what the fuck was wrong. I though that maybe I was trans because someday’s I’d hate the fact that I have breasts, but then I didn’t think that was it because other days I was completely fine with my body. I hated it. I had already been struggling to figure this out for my entire Junior High experience (2 years). I didn’t want to go through another year, so I just put it at ‘demi-male.’ I didn’t know what else to call it and I had been told by the community that non-binary wasn’t possible because I had to either have qualities of male or female or both.

You have no idea how you impact someone who is truly non-binary if you tell them that their gender isn’t real. We experience gender dysphoria like most trans people and when we are told that, we feel invalid, like we’re not normal. It worsened my mental state and put me down in a gutter for months.

By the last quarter I just decided to go with trans because I really didn’t believe that I could be non-binary. I had been told by my friends who were LGBT+ that I had to choose one or the other or both. Even a friend who is genderfluid told me this. I just stuck to wearing male clothing even though I hated just male clothing and I hated just female clothing.

Last month of school came around and I finally decided ‘fuck it.’ What did I do? I came in one day wearing a boy’s long-sleeved polo shirt with leggings and shorts with rainbow suspenders and a bow-tie. The next day I wore a long sleeved green dress with a small opening in the back. Those were the last few days of school and I finally felt comfortable.

But people had to ruin it for me. “Why are you wearing a dress?” “I thought you were trans?” “Aren’t you a guy?” Things like that. It fucking ruined me.

Totally not because school starts on the 15th or anything... heh

3rd grade: -End of the year was absolutely amazing. Last week of school the horrible witch of a teacher left after telling us that she was quitting because we “were all brats.” -To celebrate this, we took down things in the classroom and helped clean up a bit for the sub. Once the end of the day would come around we’d play games like Coconut and board games. Some kids even played with bay-blades.

Entirety of elementary school (primary school): -Kids lost Pokemon cards, bay-blades, and other small popular toys at the time on the bus everyday. Everyday something went missing and we never saw that shit again. -We had a really mean bus driver and a really mean set of kids that are probably failing school right now. Don’t know how the bus driver’s doing, but I hope she retired ‘cause the bitch would yell at us for being too loud when we literally didn’t make a single noise other than a cough or a sneeze.

7th grade advanced science: -Kids got away with cursing, a lot. Teacher even heard it once and asked the kid what he said and he responded “Cheese and rice.” She just said alright and moved on with teaching class. -She had this thing called the “Yak-er Tracker.” So pretty much if it got too loud in the room, the thing would go off. She set it in the front of the room and when she had it on and said we could talk, but had to keep it low enough so the thing wouldn’t go off, kids sitting literally inches away from it because of where their desks were complained (because it was unfair to them). -She also didn’t expect us to even be able to communicate with it on and so students proved her wrong by writing things down on a piece of paper and passing it back and forth with desk-mates. -We did a genetics thing since we were going to skip life science and so we paired up with someone else in the room to do it with. So I paired up with this boy who was, and still is, my friend. Everyone else paired up with someone who was of the same gender/sex. Essentially, we were the only ‘hetero’ ‘couple’ in the room. -I ended up drawing the kid that we made with random genetics put into plastic eggs to represent sperm and eggs. Later we made a grandchild with someone else in the room. After that was over, my partner cut off our kid’s ear and because I complained he cut off the head. I told him he was an abusive father and it’s still a joke to this day.

Bus Stop: -My house was the opposite corner from the bus stop so kids would just gather on the driveway. -One day that I didn’t miss the bus some kid waiting on the driveway dropped a hard cover book on my head and after that, my dad didn’t let another kid wait for the bus on our driveway. -I got off the bus on a rainy day, opened my umbrella and the cover just popped clean off like in this video: link. I had to grab it and bring it inside. My sister had hers work just fine and when I got inside I was soaking wet.

One from 8th grade: -End of the year a kid I know that sat at a table next to us in lunch got a sliced pickle stuck on the ceiling and it was still there when my sister started attending that school.