Kenma

Things were rough after Kenma landed his dream gig. Being a full time gamer had always been and always would be his dream. But now it was reality. He finally made it in the big league. He was finally there. It was perfect.. but soon enough flaws started to appear outside of his career. Which soon turned into flaws in the relationship. Kenma was known to be smart, calculated, and quiet. Even though all those seemed nice at times it was hard. Like any relationship things didn’t always work out. One of those being the communication. To be frank, there was no communication. At all.

You liked to drink and party. Hang out with friends and just live life to the fullest.. but even if you did like that, you loved just to cuddle. Which luckily you and Kenma shared. As time grew and his career finally branched into what he hoped it would, your time of physical affection shortened. Which sucked.. you loved physical affection. It was your love language. You couldn’t help it, whenever you saw him you just wanted to lay and be with him. But now that you couldn’t, you slowly branched out to others for what you couldn’t have. When that worked.. you just stuck with it. Getting drunk with friends and cuddling until one of your more sober friends called up Kenma and told him to pick you up. Kenma hated it. He really hated it. He hated to see you holding on to someone else, it didn’t matter what they looked like, what they identified as, or who they were. All that mattered was they weren’t him so they had no right to be that close.

Kenma likes to play games and stay home. He liked to be somewhere quiet and such. So every week when he had to go to pick you up, he sorta wondered if he didn’t pick you up what would happen..? Of course he wouldn’t do so though.. you had so many people eyeing you.. you were popular with everyone and extremely kind. So if he did leave you.. it would be as easy as it was for you to get a new cuddle partner as to get a new place to sleep. He trusted you.. well he kind of did. He wasn't good at expressing how he felt especially when it came to you or something you liked.

You got black out drunk the night before and when you walked into the kitchen you felt the heavy atmosphere. “Good morning baby..” you muttered rubbing your eyes. Your lips felt dry and your throat was raspy. Maybe you were screaming or something.. whatever it was fun.

“I don’t want you calling me that at the moment.” He stated. Which caught you off guard. Looking up your eyes were met with his. Clear confusion all over your face. “What? Did you really get that drunk to not remember being all over your friend last night..?  Calling them baby and shit. If that’s a name you just throw around please just refer to me as my name..” He muttered.

“Oh you know I didn’t mean too baby.. I love you and you know that.. you're the only one who makes me happy… but right now I'm having a headache so do you mind passing me the coffee..?” you muttered brushing everything to the side which only made him more frustrated with you. you did this every time. You pushed everything that wasn’t in your interest to the side.

“Look at you doing it again. You always do this,” he looked at you annoyed and frustrated. “Pushing everything to the side. Do you not understand how annoying it is to get a call at three in the morning that you're drunk. Not only that but that you're all over someone else. Do you not understand or do you just not care because seriously it's getting hard to think that you are just that, your heads just that blank.”

You were caught off guard. Of course you were, he never responded roughly like that. He never acted so upset with you. To be honest you never really thought about how he had to pick you up and stuff. You never thought about what happened the night before to be frank. You were a party drunk. You liked to sing and dance and cuddle and such. All the things Kenma couldn’t or wouldn’t do with you, you did with anyone else when you were drunk. It wasn’t that you wanted to blame being drunk on acting that way, so you just waited till you did get drunk. It was more, when you were sober you tried to get Kenma to do those things with you. Which most of the time ended badly because you would just be shut down again. “You know I don’t mean to do those things.”

“You don’t mean too?” He looked upset, really upset. You saw him upset often, frustrated with how the game was turning out and such, but this was different. He looked more hurt than anything. “You do it every week. Every single week you go out and drink you go out and party and sing and dance and have the fucking time of your life okay? Then when your all tired and cuddled up with a friend. I get a call to pick you up. When I get there you're either on their lap with your arms around them, on their side and holding them tight, or in between their legs as they cuddle you from the back. Not only that but when I try and help you up you more then half the time push me away, and then say you wanna go home with your ‘baby’! I’m getting sick and tired of it. You wake up the next morning and act as if the whole night you were just thinking of me and how you just wanna cuddle and all this shit. I am so fucking sick of you this. I’m so sick of you drinking. I am so fucking sick of you.” He was shouting. He was pissed and of course he was. But this time he just blew up. He didn’t even wait for a response to anything. “I’m going to go stream don’t fucking bug me.” He walked away walking into his streaming room. Once they slam the door leaving you in utter shock.

It took you a moment to take in everything. You messed up. It was your fault. He was hurt. Your lover was in pain because of your stupid actions. You grabbed your stuff, shoving it into your pocket and walked out. It was hard to think of anything but Kenma right now. Slowly you walked to the park. The leaves fell from the trees, when you looked around you saw couples wearing matching scarves and such. The smell of chai and pumpkin in every corner. Meeting your gaze you saw Kenma’s favorite bakery. Slowly you walked over opening the door and you immediately noticed this pie section. You made your way over biting your lip and you looked up at the sudden voice.

“Y/n.. is that you?” As you eye’s met the other you immediately recognized Bokuto.

“Oh hey.. nice to see you again.” You smiled weakly. Unfortunately your eyes were wet and glossy as soon as you walked into the bakery, and you didn’t know if you could handle pushing down the tears anymore.

“Where’s Kenma..? Are you okay..?” He asked softly, gently rubbing your back as he seemed to be alone at the moment. You didn’t wanna cause any more issues but you couldn’t help it, immediately you started to cry.

“I messed up, I really messed up..” you mutter as he gently leads you to a seat.

“Hey everything will be okay.. just tell me what’s wrong. I know you can work through it okay..? We can do it!” he smiled. He had always been a big brother to you. He knew just what to say to calm you down.

“I got drunk again and this time I just was a mess I guess.. and Kenma seems to be getting tired of me and me doing this. Doing all this dumb shit and messing around. But I just.. I don’t know. I wanna cuddle and hug and go on dates. But Kenma just got his dream job and I don’t wanna fuck it up. I know its so fucking selfish. I shouldn’t do this to him. I know I shouldn’t. I deserve to get yelled at and stuff I mean seriously.. he has to pick me up at three every fucking week because I’m to stupid to tell him how I feel and how I just want to be held and stuff. I just wonder sometimes.. Maybe I am not as perfect as I thought I was for Kenma. He needs someone who can be there for him all the time and I know I just know that I will keep fucking up..” You were shaking. “I mean seriously.. I am not even able to tell him I love him much less tell him about how his job is bugging me. It’s the one thing he wanted to do. The one fucking thing he really wanted to do. I just wasn’t able to support him.. I couldn’t.. I just keep hurting him..” tears were rolling down your face.

“Y/n.. hey it's okay, but he will never know anything if you keep holding it to yourself. Kenma has always been like that. He gets bugged by things but won’t say anything until he is at his limit. He never understood the importance of communication.. and he never ever takes the first steps okay? I understand that you're frustrated but you knew when you got into a relationship with him what type of person he is. You knew he was hard to understand. You told me you did. But I don’t think that you would give up this easily. You and him are the same, there will never be an understanding between you too if you guys don’t talk it out. Okay..? I suggest you get some pie and walk back to talk it out with him. I mean to be honest his stream today seems to be a mess. So it must really be bugging him and it would be better to figure it out sooner don’t you think..?” He smiled softly as you nodded. “Good. I have to go but look if you ever need to talk just message me okay? I’ve got your back!” He smiled, getting up and walking out.

You got up and bought two slices of apple pie and started to walk back. It was going to be tough to do this but you needed to. You knew you needed too.

Kenma couldn’t stay concentrated so the stream only lasted ten minutes before he turned it off and went back out to the living room. Which is when he found out you had left. Sadly his first thought was that you had gone drinking so he called up one of your friends to ask. When he found out you hadn’t he was even more worried. He looked around for a moment before he sat on the couch and held a pillow waiting. Hoping you would come back home. He wanted to fix this. He went too far. He knew he did. He knew he did of course he did. He knew he blew up, he always did and he tried not to but it was so fucking hard.

When you came into the room you immediately saw him lying on the couch cuddled up and crying. “What have I done..” You whispered softly as you made it next to you gently placed the pie down and looked at him. “I am sorry..” he looked up to you a bit and immediately his face changed.

“Oh thank god you're okay..” he whispered softly, “I didn’t me-”

You cut him off, “I messed up. I knew I did and I just want you to listen okay? I love you and I know I rarely say it. For a matter of a fact I can count the amount of times I’ve said it with one hand. I know I need to say it more okay? I know I shouldn’t drink but it is just really hard sometimes.. I just wanna go on dates and hold you and shit and I know it sounds so fucking stupid but sometimes I just get worried that if I do you will get sick of me faster okay..? So I just thought it would be easier to do it with my friends and stuff and get drunk and try to not bug you. You just got your dream job and I just don’t wanna fuck anything up more but I clearly have. I know I’m stupid and inconsiderate and I will think about it more.. just please don’t leave. Please. I will be better I swear.” You tried not to cry but you couldn’t help yourself.

Slowly he pulled you to him and held you tight. “I wasn’t planning to leave you anytime soon.. It is my fault I always don’t pay attention and It ends up hurting you and I know I should try and think about your feelings more. But I get scared to ask about it because I think if I do then you will think something is wrong but clearly that doesn’t work. So I will try to open up more okay.. I love you so much babe.. I love you.” He whispered softly, kissing your forehead.

“I love so so much too.. I love you..” You whispered. It would take time but soon everything would be perfect.. everything would be okay again.

Suna

It was hard to believe that Suna was still playing volleyball. It wasn’t a problem to you at all, to be frank you were glad that he decided to do something he loved. You were glad he wasn’t stuck at a desk all day. It just sucked when he came home all tired and unable to hang out. But maybe it would be the same either way. It just bugged you when he didn’t come home till like twelve and blamed it on practice. You didn’t wanna think that he was lying to you but you never really knew much about volleyball. It could be easily right but it just ticked you off that he came home so late. Claiming that he already had dinner and stuff. But there wasn’t anything you could really do about it. This was his passion. He loved to play volleyball and all you could do was give him your undying love and support.You worked hard, enjoying your job. Though it also got frustrating when your schedules conflicted so you couldn’t hang out but that was just life. There wasn’t anything you could do about it, and that was okay.

Suna got home late again. It was the middle of the night when you heard the shower start. He didn’t even say hello. He knew you were up. He had to know. You always were up when he came in. Mainly because you wanted to make sure he was okay when he got back. You wanted to make sure he got back. You were worried easily but it was going to be okay. Of course it was. You just had to tell yourself everyday and it would be true.. right?

When Suna walked into the room he slowly slipped next to you. “Sorry about the wait angel.. I promise soon I will have time off okay and we can hang out.” He muttered softly as his warm, soft arms wrapped around you. The smell of cherry blossoms radiated off of him. He used your hair wash sometimes, he claimed it made him feel like you were with him all the time and that made him happy. His wet hair touched your back as he held you close.

It was hard to be mad at him when he got like this. He was so soft when he was tired. He always made the same promise. At the beginning you believed him, you waited for it to happen but at this point you just tried to forget that he even said it because it just hurt you more. Of course it did. You were holding on to this stupid hope that he will get more time to hang out. That hope that soon everything would be okay. “It’s okay baby.. get some rest okay..?” You muttered softly. You turned your head slightly, kissing his head as you faced the front again. Closing your eyes you hoped everything would be okay once more.

The morning came quickly. The sun shone through the blinds, then the feeling of coldness hit as you turned over to the empty bed. Heh. What were you thinking? Did you really think that he was going to wait for you..? God sooner or later you really had to realize this relationship was more one sided then anything. That this thing was going to be a forever relationship. But god fuck, this was just as real as a fake relationship. It was only one when it was a relationship when it was convenient. It sucked but none of his teammates even knew about you and him being in a relationship. It sucked to feel like you were being forced to be hidden. It almost felt like he was embarrassed of you. It had gone on long enough. You were so fucking done. This was too hard to hold on.

After packing a bit you got up and grabbed your stuff. Getting up you headed out taking your car to one of your only friend’s houses. It was hard to have a conversation with him let alone try and explain how you felt. So you decided to take a night off from seeing him, and try and clear your head. You didn’t wanna break up, fuck that was the last thing you wanted to do. You decided not to leave a note.. secretly kind of hoping it would make him a bit worried or something. So you knew he actually noticed.. or actually liked you. Suna always had a ‘I don’t give a fuck’ additude and that was one of the big reasons you were drawn to him. He was always so free, he didn’t care what people had to say about him.. Something you wished you could have but it really didn’t matter because he had you back, back then.

After a few hours of hanging out your friend took your phone away from you, being that you had been waiting for a call from Suna. They powered it off and placed it on a shelf gently slipping next to you. They smiled. You and them were alway close. They had been with you for every break up and to be honest you even tried dating, though it didn’t work out it was a great experience and you would still have done it to this day. When night struck instead of waiting for Suna you actually were kind of relieved the fear of him not coming home kind of slipped off your shoulders as you laid down next to your friend. Closing your eyes you hoped for everything to get better. You wished that he would be able to get some free time and such.

On the other hand when Suna came home he did what he always did, take a shower and head to bed. But this time you weren’t there, you weren't waiting for him. He looked around almost instantly running to check if your shoes were there, which they weren’t. Now a bit shaken up he took a deep breath and walked over to check if anything else was missing. Once he did it kind of hit him harder than expected. Running to grab his phone he began to call you. It was too late out and it was pitch black, fear had settled in as he realized what could have happened. All the things that could have happened, might have happened. He immediately put on his shoes, his hair still wet. God even knows he can hear you to dry his hair before he leaves, in hope he won't get sick. He unlocked his car calling you for the third time, unsurprisingly he heard the same voice mail.

“Hey this is y/n! It seems you are trying to reach me. At the moment I might be busy or have missed your call! Please try and call again or leave a message. I promise to get back to you as soon as I can!”

It had been a wet month as the rain hit the floor but Suna didn’t seem to mind. So maybe he was being over dramatic but you never have been away from him during the night from the day you guys started dating. So for you not even to mention that you weren’t going to be home was fucking with him. He did the next best thing, calling your best friend. Lucky for him they picked up. “Hey is y/n there.. they're not picking up and I really wanna make sure they're okay..” he muttered his breath was loud. Almost as if he was having trouble breathing and such.

“Ya, do you wanna pick them up they seem to be having trouble sleeping.. and it seems like you guys need to work through a few things so maybe it would be best if you did..'' They were surprised that he called. It wasn’t that he didn’t love you or anything, it was just that it didn’t always seem like he was that interested in you, as if being convenient to them and such. So for him to call up your friend was quite unexpected.

When Suna arrived he got out and knocked on the door after being met with your friend, “I’m only telling you this once so listen to me. Y/n loves you okay? If you're not interested just let them be okay? There are a bunch of people who would kill to be with them. If you do not have the time for them please just let them be, so they can find someone who can take care of them when they need someone too. Y/n is quiet about their feelings but that doesn’t mean you can only be with them when it is convenient to you, let alone only at night. If you don’t want to step up please just step down and let someone else fill your role for you. They are hurting to much because of your actions and you don’t seem to ever fucking care. Please just let them go if you're done.. This game has been over a long time ago. You won okay. You always will be against y/n..” they moved to the side letting the startled Suna in. “They're over there, if you don’t wanna carry them it is okay just call me over because I don’t want them to be woken up.” Suna shook his head gently. How fucking dare they assume that this was all a game to him. How dare they assume that he didn’t actually love you..? Why did they assume those things..?

Suna picked you up gently, gently you clung to him and his warmth. It was cold in the room and Suna seemed to be the only solution to it. It surprised Suna quite a lot, finding out that you were clinging to him. Being that at night he always hugged you, but you just wanted to give him space so he wouldn’t be bored of you. “Hey angel sorry for making you wait all these nights.. I promise I will be there okay.. please don’t move on I really do love you.. your my everything and I know it is stupid of me to talk to you while your asleep but sometimes I get to nervous to talk to you and I just want everything to be okay with you. Your friend is right though.. There is no excuse for what I am doing to you. I am so sorry.. angel trust me I really love you. I would be so fucking lost without you.” he muttered holding on to you tightly as he grabbed your stuff and carried you out. It was still raining as he tried his best to shelter you from the rain running to the car as he placed you in the front. It took him a moment to get you comfortable or at least that what he hoped was comfortable. He had placed a blanket on you and buckled you up as he moved to the front and started driving. It was a good thirty minute drive, and he knew soon you guys had to go back to go get your car but at this moment all he was worried about was you. “God angel.. I can’t compete with everyone else after you.. why did you choose me.. why are you still with me..?” he muttered. He gently held your hand as he looked out. You were always so cold. Suna on the other hand was like a walking heat source. Maybe because he was so big that he could hold you tight and stuff and it just made it feel warmer or something but it worked better than you could imagine.

It took a bit of time but soon you had arrived, sadly the rain hadn’t eased up. Suna got out first picking you up as he wrapped the blanket around you so you wouldn’t get cold or wet. You shifted around in his arms. “mm..” you muttered your eyes fluttering open with the feeling of his arms again and the feeling of movement. You held on tightly to Suna, “Baby..?” you grumbled softly confused where you were and what you were doing. Why was he here? More importantly, how did he find you.. did he really care? God it felt great to think that he did.

“Ah I’m sorry for waking you angel.. close your eyes I’ve got you now.. that house was too cold. I’ve got you now. We are home so you can be nice and warm again okay..? Don’t worry I’ve got you now so everything will be okay. I am going to take a break from practice for the week okay..? I am going to ease up on the practice so you won’t have to worry. I love you so much. I know I haven’t been a good boyfriend and I know I need to step it up. Will I be okay? Don’t worry I am going to be better for you okay. I am sorry about everything I’ve done to hurt you and I am going to do my best to make you feel better.. and if it doesn’t help I will let go okay. I’m going to finally let you breathe but please just give me just one more chance. I know I love you, and I know I don’t show it but I promise I do. If I didn’t please tell me what was that pain in my chest when I didn’t see you, I know I sound stupid I know I do but I know I really do love you. Hearing what your friend said and I know they're right but it just hit me. I am not ashamed of you.. you know that right..? I just don't want my team to know because last time when word got out I was dating someone the pressure was to muc. on them and the new articles and stuff and I just don’t wanna pressure you. I don’t want us to end because of that. I want everything to be perfect. I know I come home late, I just.. I don’t know. I know it is too much on you and I don't want that I just don’t everything to be over because of an argument that could have been avoided if I just you know.. not came home or something. I know it is no excuse but I am telling the truth please believe me. I can’t live without you.. I love you so much please baby.. fuck. I keep rambling. I am sorry angel. get some rest we will talk about this in the morning..” he muttered softly walking inside and gently placing you in bed as he walked and changed coming back as soon as he could.

You were wide awake.. but you just wanted to wait so you knew he would still be there when you woke up. So you knew he wouldn’t be gone before anything. So you knew he wasn’t lying anymore. “Night baby..” you muttered as his arms wrapped around you.

“Good night angel.. I love you so much..” He muttered, closing his eyes.

When the morning came you were surprised when you felt his body tight around you. “Morning my angel..” he muttered. “Did you get some good rest..?”

“Good morning.. mhm.. thank you for staying.. you don’t understand how worried I was that you were going to leave before I could say anything.. But thank you. I love you so much okay.. and I don’t what my friend said but please ignore him.. I only love you.. I will only ever love you. Please try and stay home more. It is getting hard to handle and I know it is selfish but I just want you to stay longer sometimes. I know you want the best for me but please.. it makes me feel like you actually don’t love me and I know it is wrong but I get scared and I don’t want to be.. please believe me when I say that I can handle it.. I just wanna be with you more. I just want to be what you want. I love you so much..” You were trying not to cry but you were.

“Angel… I love you so much. I will tell the whole world.. I want to. Will I be okay? I will stay with you till you wake up and eat Breakfast with you. I will come home sooner so you're not scared anymore.. I’ve got you and everything I’ve ever wanted so please don’t cry.. I love you so fucking much angel..” he whispered kissing you. This felt good.. refreshing, you felt okay for the first time in a while. You felt happy. You were going to be alright now, he was going to keep you safe and you would do the same thing. You loved each other and that's all that would ever matter because you two were made for each other.

Oikawa

He was at it again. Working late nights and shit. You were happy for him. You were. Of course you were. He was back doing what he loved. He was back playing volleyball. With that happiness also came fear and worry. You knew how he was. Everyone who ever met him, knew how he was. He over worked himself. He always did and scared you. No matter how hard he tried not to. He pushed himself past his limits. Even after the doctor already told him, if he didn’t ease up on the practice, his knee would get even worse. But he was Oikawa Tōru. Determined and intelligent.

It was ten thirty and he already missed your date. Which you expected to happen, but it still kind of hurt. You tried calling for the fifth time that night, but you were met with the same thing. After a few rings it went to voicemail.

“Hey! You’ve reached the voicemail of Oikawa Tōru, thank you for calling! At the moment I’m busy but I promise after I’m done I’ll call you back. If you want, leave me a message and I’ll get back to you. Byeee!”

You waited all night for him to come home around twelve thirty. He looked tired. Extremely tired and to be honest that pissed you off more. Not only did he not respond but he over worked himself again, and when he woke up the next night sore, you were the one who would have to take care of him.

Instead of bringing it up you waited for the morning. Not wanting to have this conversation while he was tired. It would feel like you were talking to yourself, and he wouldn’t understand. So you went to bed with him and by the morning he was already up before you.

You went to the kitchen to find him shuffling through your medication bin. “Are you sore?” You ask, looking at him.

“I’ll be fine, I just need breakfast and some medicine,” he muttered. He couldn’t have cared less. At least that’s what it looked like. He didn’t even spare you a glance.

“Maybe you should listen. You know, lay off volleyball practice for a day or something. Try to lesson the hours and stuff..” You looked back at him for his reaction.

“Can’t. If I ease up I’ll never be able to catch up.” He finally looked to you now, finding the medicine.

“I mean I think you will be fine. It is taking over your whole life and stuff so I just don’t want it to be a bigger issue. Like you know.. with your knees and stuff.” Your eyes are pinned on him.

“I told you not to worry about my knee, and it’s not taking up my life okay? It has and will always be my life. It’s the only thing I’m good at. So no, I'm not going to take a break.” He snapped at you. Which caught you off guard.

“It is… It is taking up your life,” you replied which made his face change.

“You don’t understand how it is like me. You don’t! I understand you don’t have anything you're good at and shit. But you have to understand that I actually have goals in life okay? You have to understand that my fucking life won’t revolve around you and how you feel when I do something. It won’t and never will. You and I are together because I feel like having you around. Because you know what, volleyball is the only thing that distracts me from leaving. Volleyball is the only thing I can do to escape you!” He screamed.

It takes a few seconds for the weight of his words to sink into your skin. But here’s the thing. You knew what you were up against when you started dating him. He just lit a fuse in you. A spark that made an explosion of feelings hit you. When it did you couldn’t control your words. “After all that practice I wondered why you never made it to nationals. I mean seriously. You need a distraction from me, right? Your always doing it, and get you can’t even fucking get to nationals. Not only that but I can see why your last girlfriend left you. You're a dick. You can’t remember a fucking date. A fucking date we have been planning for weeks. Oh wait, let me correct that, a date I’ve been planning for weeks. Not only that but I took my fucking time to work around your schedule. For you not to even send a message.” You spat out. You looked down at him, “I wonder sometimes if everyone was right. You and me. Never belonged. I’m just a distraction from such a ‘handsome’ and ‘kind’ person.”

He looked hurt at first, but then again he started it and intended to finish it. “I can see why your whole family doesn’t talk to you. You always think you're the best or something. Maybe I remembered the date. Have you ever thought of that? Maybe I didn’t wanna hangout with you. Maybe I didn’t want to hear you nagging me every fucking second. You know what? I can see why people fucking hate you. Bully you and shit. Your such a fucking selfish freak.”

“What..?” You looked at him. You told him you were bullied, because you thought of him as your safe space. You thought of him as the only person who understood you. You felt safe when he was around you. You felt understood. To use that against you. To say you deserved it. To say you deserved to get hurt. To get shamed. To get everything that happened to you… it was your fault?

“What are you too dumb to understand?” He laughed at you. Hatred and venom spilling from his lips. “Awe.. look at the baby. You should be grateful I didn't break up with you. You should be thankful because I’m the only reason you're even someone.”

Tears filled your eyes. “God fucking damn it.” You muttered softly. You weren’t going to allow him to take you down. You were stronger then he would ever understand. “You really think anyone wants to hang out with you..? Do you fucking think anyone find you a good person..? Your just a fucking pretty face, okay? Your nothing compared to anyone else on your team. You might not realize it but to be honest sometimes I do want to be set free. Set free from this shitty relationship okay? That’s the truth. Sometimes I get sick of having to take care of you. When your fucking sore before you over works your self again. I am the only one trying to keep you okay. I’m the only one who actually thinks about the long run. No matter how hard you practice in the end you won’t even be able to walk. Let alone play volleyball and shit. You know what sometimes I get sick of being the only fucking one trying to keep us together.”

“Then maybe you should give up okay. Maybe we should finally go our separate ways. I mean after all, you're too easy.” He was hurt. He just blurted out whatever he thought would hurt you the most. Which fucking worked. Before you had said anything more he had left the room, leaving you stunned.

It took a moment but before you knew it you were out of the house, crying and walking the farthest away from your shared house as you could. “Fuck..” you whisper. Did he really not want to be with you..? You should have known. This relationship wasn’t a relationship. You barely talked. You felt alone. So fucking alone.

It took an hour for him to fully cool down. When he walked out of the room he was expecting you to be waiting for him. He was expecting everything to be okay. When he was met with the emptiness. The emptiness of you being actually gone. He was met with the realization that his words were taken just how he thought he wanted them to be.

You on the other hand we’re at the park blasting music in your ears. Forcing the thoughts to be pushed deep down. Forcing you to forget everything. Everything that hurts you. Maybe it would be best if you guys did go your separate ways..? You knew this wasn’t good for your mental health. But fuck that. This was the only thing that made you feel grounded. Made you feel okay. When he wasn’t with you or practicing he was out with friends, drinking and partying. You couldn’t continue to live like this. So maybe it would be best to let go. To give up on everything and everything you loved… your everything was him. You always argued and at this point you felt sick. Thinking about it just broke you. You had no more tears to cry, with your tear stained cheeks you decided to go back. To your home. It was over. Everything you had built up was coming crashing down.

On his side he was freaking out. He knew he was in the wrong. He knew there was no excuse for what he did to you, but what could he say? You were gone already. It took a bit for him to get to the nerve to call you. To his surprise he heard the sound of your ringing phone. So you left it. Maybe you were going to come back. Maybe you will and then everything will be okay again. Maybe everything would be perfect. It was a small chance but that's all he could hold on to.

When you walked in it was quiet, but there were soft whimpers and cries coming from your shared room. Gently you knocked on the door and waited for a response. You were surprised when you immediately heard a stumble and then were met with a hug. Your shoulder almost immediately feels wet to the touch. “Ba.. Oikawa..?” You muttered.

“Please don’t call me that.. please..” He muttered softly. His face buried deep into your clothes.

You kinda ignored his response. “I came back to get my stuff. I took into consideration what you said and I realized that you don’t deserve to be distracted by me all the time..” You whispered softly. “So like you said earlier.. I think it is best if we stop seeing each other.. entirely because I don’t know if I could let you go otherwise..”

His arms tightened around you, “C..can we please talk about it first.. please..” his nightmare was coming true, and maybe it was dumb but he didn’t realize how much he needed you.

“There’s nothing to talk about.. I don’t understand why you want to make it harder on me. I gave you what you wanted okay..? You can practice your heart out and hangout with your friends and stuff okay? You can finally find someone who will fit all your needs. You and I both know that I will never be what you want. So maybe it would be best if we just let go..”

“No… please no.. that’s not what I want.. I want to make it up to you and be there for you and I want to make you happy and I want everything to be perfect. I know I messed up okay? I don’t deserve you and I don’t know what came over me today because you're everything I’ve ever wanted. I know I don’t deserve it and there’s no excuse for what I said or did… I know I should let you find someone better but I love you. I love you so fucking much. I know I’ve been lacking and I want to make up for it. I want to be someone you want to be around again.. I love you so fucking much okay? I should have been there. I shouldn’t have said the things I did. I know I don’t deserve a second chance but please.. just one more.. I promise I’ll make it up to you.” He didn’t want to let go of everything.

“I’m sorry too.. you didn’t deserve it. I’m sorry for everything and that’s why I want to let you go. To find someone who will not hurt you like I hurt you.. You and I both know that I can't resist it. I don’t know why you do this to me.. pull me back.. you have one more chance… Please don’t make me regret it. I really love you but this.. this isn’t going to work if we do what we are doing now okay? We will just tear each other more and more apart..” you whispered gently, kissing his head. Your arms finally meet his back as you hold him. “I’m sorry.. but I’ve got you now baby. I love you so fucking much..”

Kyoutani

Kyoutani was the type of person most people would never understand. Not because they were “difficult” or anything.. they just never took the time too. Well other than you. You were different. You understood his outburst and such. But at the same time you were human. There was only so much you could take. There was only so much you would take.

When he came into the locker room you were already waiting for him. He had been thrown out of the game for fighting with a few people. You knew he was frustrated. You could hear the crowd from a mile away shouting to kick him off. It was harsh. Even for ‘mad dog’ which he hated to be called. He hated to be tied to an animal.. and always being an angry reck. Anybody would. But of course nobody understood other than you. When he sat on the bench you immediately rushed over.

“Baby.. I’m sorry.. You didn’t deserve that.. just ignore them, please. I know it’s hard but their not important okay..?” You we’re just trying to comfort him. But there were times when Kyoutani couldn’t control himself. Like any other person when they get looked down at every fucking moment of their lives. When they are ridiculed and laughed at all the time. When they are nothing more than an angry person.. Sometimes there is nothing more to do than be the person everyone so desperately makes you out to be.

“Not important? Not important! I just got fucking kicked from the game because of them chanting to kick me. They didn’t even fucking have the decency to call me by my name. So don’t tell me it’s okay and that their opinion on me doesn’t matter. Because quite frankly their opinion is the only one that matters it seems.” He lashed out.

“I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just that.. it wasn’t entirely their fault. You were arguing with the other team members.” You muttered. It wasn’t meant to do any harm, just for him to keep in mind.

“Are you serious right now.? Nobody else got kicked. Nobody. If they can’t handle a little trash talking, maybe they shouldn’t play a sport. I mean seriously there’s no need for them to tell the referees to kick me.” He started raising his voice when he spoke.

“I know it’s just that.. maybe you should try and not trash talk you know?” You whispered softly, retreating a bit.

“What?” He looked annoyed. “God ducking damn it. How can you be so cute but so fucking annoying. I mean seriously how can someone with such a face be so fucking dumb and so annoying?” His hands were balled into fist

“I..I don’t understand, can you tell me why you act so sweet..? Then so cold the next moment..? You don’t mean it right..? Please say you don’t mean it.” You were worried you loved him but god it was hard. It was hard to respond when your friends asked about your relationship. It was hard when they flaunted their perfect relationship and then asked about yours. Its was so fucking hard.

“Do you think I would say it otherwise..?” He looked at you. He laughed at you as he saw your pitiful expression. God it was almost sickening how much he saw that expression. That expression that nobody else had ever shown him. The one of worry  but at the same time already knowing it was coming. He loved it. He loved everything about you. But most of the time you pissed him off. This relationship wasn’t healthy. But for god sake you already started counseling. But fuck this was a bad idea.

Silence. Nothing could come out. You wanted to scream. You wanted to forget this. You wanted it to stop. Everything to stop.

“Answer me.” He punched the wall next to you. Fear spreading all over your face. Fuck. Fuck. Not here. Please no. He gripped your warm face making it so cold in seconds. Forcing you to look at him he laughed at your crying face. But when you didn’t stop for a minute he immediately backed away. He fucked up. He knew he fucked up. “Wait I’m sorry baby..” he muttered.

“Please stop. Please. I won’t do it again.” Flashbacks we’re pulling you way too far out. You were drowning. No one was around to save you. He was laughing as you begged to be saved, pushing you deeper into your own pool of your own thoughts. You were so cold. The next second you were able to move back to the surface.

Realization hit as he stepped back. “I..I am sorry..” he muttered softly as he left the room without another word leaving his mouth. Words were banging on his lips but he knew if he spilled them out everything out it would just hurt you ten times more.

You got up five minutes later, finally pulled back to reality and decided to get up. Grabbing your stuff you walked back into the stadium. Waving a small wave to the rest of his team before exiting. Confusion was read all over as they saw your tear stained face. To be honest, all that was running through your mind was that you didn’t want Kyoutani to break up with you. You didn’t want to be alone, again. You didn’t want to be just another one of his ex’s. So for the better of both of you it would be best to leave him be. To let him cool off.. for him to feel better.

He was freaking out. He fucked up. You. You were his everything, not only that but you were more than just that. You were like a fucking rainbow at the end of a rainy day. You were his partner in crime. You made him feel normal, you made him feel safe, and loved. He couldn’t believe he just put that all in danger. He just put everything on the line because of some stupid game. He hit the wall hard, “fuck me. I’m sorry y/n..” he muttered as he sank to the floor and balled up. Tears burning through his eyes. He did the one thing he promised you that he would protect you from. You became the one thing he was always scared of becoming. He loved you so much, he love you so fucking much.

You left and got into your car. Sinking into your seat you locked the doors, and hit the steering wheel. Taking a deep breath salty tears rolled down your already stained face. Placing the key in and turning it the car started. Next thing you knew you had left wherever you could go. You loved him. So fucking much. But it was hard to be okay when he acted so fucking rough with you. It was hard to stay calm and not imagine your past relationship in this one. You tried. You really did but god it was hard to feel okay, feel okay about everything happening around you. It was too much. So fucking much. It made your head hurt.

When the game ended Kyoutani was still freaking out, now moved back into the lockers. He didn’t know what he was expecting but he knew he hoped you would still be there. God damn it. He fucked up. You had left. You were gone. Tears brimming his eyes as he teammates walked in. Now mentioning it to his teammates their faces seemed to change. More salty fucking tears left his eyes, as he heard about what type of pain you looked like you were in.

You headed back to your shared place. Unsure where else to go. You weren’t close with your family anymore. You had no friends. You had no work buddies. You had nobody but Kyoutani and in turn, now you were left alone with the thought of everything being gone. Ripped right out of your hands as you're forced to watch your whole world come crumbling down on you. You placed your stuff down on the side and laid on the bed. It smelled just like safety. Just like Kyoutani. You just wanted to be held. You just wanted everything to be perfect, again. To be okay at least. You needed him more than anything.

After a night out he finally made it back to your shared place. He didn’t want to be back without you, but you weren’t answering and he didn’t know what else to do. When he walked into the apartment he slowly walked into your shared room. There he saw you. Laying in bed cuddled up in the blankets. Slowly and carefully he walked up. Not wanting to cause you any more hurt. He missed you. Even for a few hours he had felt like he hadn’t seen you in years. But maybe that was because he thought that’s what might have happened. Maybe he thought you had left for good. Maybe he thought he would never have the chance to apologize. Never have the chance to hold you again. When he reached the bed he noticed that you were awake. “Hey y/n..” he muttered softly. The silence was killing him. “I’m so sorry. I know I fucked up. I promised to make you feel safe and protected around me. I made a promise to keep you safe and protected. I broke both of those. I fucked up. I know I did. I lashed out again. I did exactly what everyone says I do. I just get so fucking heated for no reason and I know I shouldn’t and I know I should just relax. But I feel like if I do the worlds would burn though my throat and then it would just explode.. and I know it’s stupid and I know I end up hurting you more. I know that there is no good reason to do that. But I just.. I don’t know. You're the only one that makes me feel normal okay..? I know it’s not fair. I know it’s not. You just make me feel like whenever I’m with you that I’m floating. I just want everything to be okay again. I want everything to be back to normal. I know I should give you space but I missed you so much. I don’t want you to leave, please don’t leave..” he was crying again. He barely had any tears left to cry. He wanted to hold you but he knew it was a stupid idea. “I’m sorry for being so selfish.. but please..”

You never really heard him or saw him crack. But fuck. It hurts you so much. To see him beg for you to stay with him. What were you supposed to do..? Leave him now? That was never even the plan. You didn’t have a plan to be honest. You sat up biting your lip before you gently held him. “Hey baby it will be okay.. calm down I’ve got you.. I’m not going anywhere now. I promise you I’m not going anywhere.” You muttered softly. He melted into your touch. He knew he didn’t deserve it but he felt like he couldn’t breathe. “Shush… I’ve got you.. take a deep breath..” you mumbled softly kissing his head as he took deep breaths. Soon enough he was relaxed in your arms again. “You know and I know that I love you so much. But there’s a line between where I can take it and I can’t. I understand you get frustrated but I don’t deserve to be treated like that. I don’t deserve to be scared of being hit.. and I know we both know that. I try to be understanding but you need to try to be too okay..? I love you so much.. more than you might believe but Kyoutani I can’t handle being in a relationship with you if you're constantly annoyed or angry with me. I think we deserve to be happy.. and if that means needing to take a break then we would have to okay? You need to work on communicating. I know it can be hard.. but please..” you whispered. Tears flowing down your soft skin again. It was getting a lot. So it would be best if you told him… you needed him to understand.

He gently shook his head. He understood. He knew he was in the wrong. He knew he was lucky for you to be holding him.. for him to even still be in a relationship with you let alone it be still a romantic one. He loved you and he knew you didn’t deserve anything that he put you through. In the end all that mattered was you in his eyes. He was going to change.. he was. “I promise.. thank you y/n..” he whispered softly. Gently he wrapped his arms around you. “I love you so much..” he muttered. Everything would be okay.. he knew it was going to be now. All that mattered was that you were safe. That you were happy.. that you were in his arms again.

Atsumu

Atsumu was always invited to parties and rarely went but today was different, today was celebration of their newest victory. So it would be weird not to bring his lover right..? Of course it would. Sadly you weren’t much of a social person. You looked amazing but Atsumu knew how much you hated compliments like that, it made you feel like that’s all you were good for. Like that was the only reason people stuck around. Which was why Atsumu normally complemented your intelligence, or amazing sense of imagination, or your strong sense of wrongdoing but not only that but so much more. He made you feel so loved in his arms. So maybe this once everything would go okay. It wasn’t like you could say no to going to such a big advent. It was important for Atsumu so it was important for you too.

When the night came up more anxiety hit, you weren’t one to party or anything so this was not something you were used to. You grabbed one of your more ‘fancy’ pieces of  clothing. The last time you wore it was years ago. It was a beautiful outfit so much that Atsumu claims when he saw it on you he fell in love. He just had to talk to you. He had heard so much about how you were so free and he loved that. He loved people who just rolled with it. Which was exactly what type of person you were. You were deep in love.

Atsumu walked out in this dark blue suit. God he looked so fucking hot. He had his hair styled back, he had a white shirt underneath the blue jacket. He was wearing a matching tie. “How is ma angel feeling?” he chuckled softly, meeting you in the mirror wrapping his arms around your waist burying his face in your neck. “ya smell so good.. yer perfume is so sweet.. I could eat you up,” he chuckled softly, his words muffled as kissing your neck as he held you.

“Baby that tickles,” you laughed softly, holding on to his arms. God, you felt safe in his arms. “I am good, how are you? You look amazing, hopefully nobody tries to steal you from me.” You laughed though to be honest you weren’t joking. He was all over the internet. He was the man of everyone’s dreams. Tall, handsome, funny, cute, strong, he was free and so much more.

“I am doing great, baby.. ah you know that wouldn’t happen, love,” he kissed you again. “Come baby let's go out to the front they are waiting,” he took your hand as you guys walked out to the front and was met with a limousine, “You guys are too extra,”  he muttered as he opened the door. There was Bokuto, Sakusa, Hinata, their partners and a few of their friends. “Where is the rest of the team?” He chuckled softly as he sat down gesturing to you to sit next to him which you did.

“Because we had to wait for you, they left already,” Sakusa muttered, sounding a bit pissed but his partner gently nuzzled him and he seemed to calm down in their arms.

“Ah I am sorry to all of you this was all my fault I took a bit longer then I should,” You smiled softly as they reassured you it was okay. As you arrived at the party the paparazzi was already waiting for the rest of the team to come out. The door opened and immediately the cameras started clicking which made you nervous. Atsumu’s warm arm wrapped around you as he kissed your head.

“Come on angel.. let's go have some fun then we can go home and cuddle,” he smiled softly as you shook your head. “I love you,” he whispered softly as he led you out. Cameras surrounding the others as they came out with their partners. You nuzzled into his side a bit more, gently he tightened his grip on you as you walked inside the large building. Loud noises surrounded you as he led you to the rest of the team. “Hey guys! This is ma angel!” he called out as they smiled a bit. A few laughs were heard. God he really was good at embarrassing you but to be honest you have only been dating like 3 months. You were at every game but still he acted like no one ever noticed you.

After an hour or so he offered to get everyone drinks, which everyone accepted and next thing you know Atsumu, Bokuto, Sakusa and Hinata were off grabbing the drinks while everyone else kinda stayed in a huddle. The music was too loud so you kinda moved to a corner waiting for him to return. Well in that moment someone decided to take their shot with you. Making their way over, you already noticed a few things. They seemed confident, a bit too confident. Flaunting to their friends about how some way they were going to get you. Some way he was going to make you fall in love at first sight. News flash.. you didn’t. Quite the opposite you wanted to leave as soon as you saw them approaching. “Hey Hun~ are you alone?” he questioned. Of course not. No one in their right mind would go to a party like this by themselves. Instead of answering you kept quiet. Which made them pursue you farther. “Awe don’t worry it is nothing to be embarrassed about~ I will keep you company.” They chuckled softly. Taking a step closer you were clearly uncomfortable.

“I am not alone.. I am with my boyfriend..” you muttered softly, your eyes glued to the ground, scared to even look up. You weren’t too good with things like this where they would push and push, to the point where you were forced to except. To the point where you would give your information just to be fucking left alone. You just wanted Atsumu to come back soon.

“Come on, give me some sugar. Your boyfriend doesn’t need to know about us, eh? It will be our little secret. I can tell you're smart. So why not just hand over the phone number and maybe we can hang out soon? That sounds nice right..?” Their voice was annoying, it wasn’t calm or sweet like Atsumu’s. It was demanding and rough. He didn’t care what you wanted. He didn’t.. he was going to push till you gave it out. You just had to hold on a bit longer and maybe Atsumu would be able to save you from this terrible, awkward moment. You just had to wait a bit more.. just a bit longer. Before you could say anything his hand was already around your waist

“Please get off me,” you pushed him off. Which seemed not to be the right move because next thing you know you were forcefully pinned to a wall, his arms tightly around your waist.

Next thing you know he is off you and then shouting. “Who the fuck do you think you are touching ma angel?” There he was, Atsumu. Finally.. It felt like it took ages but now he was here. He punched the guy in the face and you immediately rushed to his side to try and calm him down. He gently wrapped his arms around you. There it was. That warm feeling only he could give you. That safe feeling. He wasn’t forcing you to hug him or anything. You felt safe in his arms. You held him close. “ya okay angel.. I am sorry I took so long,” he muttered as he gently kissed your head. “He didn’t hurt ya did he? I will kill him, don't worry, just tell me,” he whispered in your ear. The guy was still recovering from the hit.

“I am okay.. thanks to you,” you whispered softly as you held on tight. To be honest you were a bit scared, not that Atsumu was going to hurt you but that you couldn’t tell if Atsumu was kidding when he said that he would kill that guy. He sounded dead serious but you really wanted to think of it as a joke. All you wanted to do was walk away right now. You wanted to go back to the group and pretend none of that happend. But of course that could happen. Of course that couldn’t because someone really wanted to piss off Atsumu.

“You know it sucks that cutie is left with you, I mean you only punch someone when they aren’t looking at you.. are you that worried? It is funny, now come on cutie do you really wanna be with this guy? I have a bunch of money.. that's why you're with him right?” Of course not. You really loved him. But right now you could tell he was pissed and you didn’t know what to do to calm him down. He let go of you and next thing you know he wasn’t in your arms anymore but on the floor punching the guy, making a mess out of him. You wanted it to stop. It only took a minute max before Bokuto and a few other people were pulling Atsumu off what was left of the guy. He was covered in his own blood now. Atsumu just looked annoyed, he wanted to kill the guy, or that's what it seemed like, it really seemed like he wanted him dead right now.

“Atsumu what the fuck are were thinking you could have gotten pulled from the next match for that shit!” Sakusa scolded, “I understand that you are pissed at him but that shit isn’t what you pull! Look at him!” he pointed to the guy. “When were you going to stop if we didn’t pull you off huh?” He seemed upset. You on the other hand were still in shock.

Atsumu made his way over to you and stood in front of you unsure what to say to you. So you took the lead, “fuck Atsumu,” you muttered as you clung to him his arms wrapping around you next. “What in gods name were you thinking, Sakusa is right, you could very much be fucking kicked from the next few games.” You muttered softly in his chest.

“I wanted to make sure he would keep his mouth shut about you. He had no right talking about you as if you are just an object. He had no right touching you. So I gave him a taste of his own medicine. I touched him without him asking and frankly I don’t regret it. I would do it all over again and I wouldn’t mind being suspended from the game if that means you would be okay and that he wouldn’t be touching you ever again.” He muttered back. “I really love you and it pissed me off. I am sorry if you are disappointed with me but there is a fine line with me, and he crossed it. He pushed me to the edge, I wasn’t going to do much more than that one punch if he just shut his pretty little mouth. But of course he had to bring up the fact that yer be a better fit with him.. I couldn’t let that pass by. I just couldn’t lose you.. please forgive me angel..” he muttered. Clearly he was a bit drunk as his words slurred a bit. He seemed all over the place but it was okay. “I really just wanted to protect ya..” he chuckled a bit. He didn’t seem to regret doing it but maybe he seemed a bit upset because he worried you were upset with him, which you really weren't. To be honest it was quite the opposite. You were so happy he did that, otherwise you would probably still be in that ‘guys’ arms.

“‘Tsumu thank you.. if it wasn’t for you I don’t know what I would be doing without you right now. You really saved me back there and not only that but you really make me lose my mind when I am around you. You really are the love of my life. So no, I am not disappointed or any of that shit, if anything I am worried about will happen to you now that you did that, I really don’t want you to get in trouble because you decided to help me get out of my mess… I am sorry that you were dragged into this baby.” you muttered as you kissed his head.  You weren’t lying when you said you were worried.

“Don’t worry about me angel, I will be okay. Okay? Don’t feel bad it was ma idea to attack the guy, none of that was yer fault. It is everything but your fault you wouldn’t have had to come if I hadn’t begged you too. If I didn’t go get the drinks and leave you by yourself you would have had to deal with him.. if he listened to you when you said no then everything would have been okay and everything would have gone much smoother. If he hadn’t made that remark he would not be in the state he is in. So angel none of what has happened was yer fault. Believe me okay, I really love you and I don’t want yer worrying about this. I will handle everything and keep you updated..”

You shook your head softly as you held him close, “I love you too babe.. I love you so fucking much.. thank you..” you whispered. You were a bit cold, and it must have been noticeable because Atsumu took off his jacket and placed it on you. “thanks..” you closed your eyes for a moment taking in his embrace.

In the end in a not so surprising amount of events Atsumu was benched for a little bit of time, for some reason he still claims it was worth it even though his teammates don’t. Which he almost threw a fit over, because they didn’t think that , ‘protecting his angel was worth not playing a few games’, though in reality they just meant that there were other ways that he could have gone about it but he decided to take the most violent approach. Which didn’t seem to work out in his favor. In the end the guy tried to press charges but after a bit decided to drop it. Nobody knows why but they think it had something to do with the lawyer or something. You and Atsumu were happy and that all that mattered. He was always there to protect you. He would never let that happen again. At night he held you closer than ever after that happened. He made sure you felt comfortable as he had one leg on top of you as the rest of his body was wrapped around yours. Which was surprisingly comfortable.

You just had one thing bugging you so you decided to address it. “Atsumu.. remember when that guy said that I was only with you because of your money.. I really hope you understand that he couldn’t be more wrong. I love you for so many things like your freeness, your ability to change, the way you can be so protective and loving at the same. Not only that but the stupid little things you do. Like the way you make stupid little jokes to lighten the mood. The way you call me when you are out and about just to make sure I am happy and am feeling okay, and if I am not how you make this cute little fucking dates to make me feel better. The way you remember small parts of a story that I tell you and will mention it at random times without even thinking.. The way even if something is not of your interest you take your time to learn it with me and listen to everything I tell you.. God you make me lose my mind but I really love you.. I really do..” you whispered breaking down into tears as he held you close.

“Angel.. it is okay.. you're always there for me. You make me feel special and you make me feel loved and for the first time in a while I find myself thinking I have finally one upped my brother. I have finally found someone who loves me for me and I really really love you. So don’t cry okay..? I never believed that guy. I know you love me and I hope you know I love more than just your body okay.. I love you so much so don’t ever.. ever think I don’t.” he held you to his chest. You gently shook your head. He was so good at making you happy. God he was just so fucking amazing. You really loved him and he really loved you too.

Osamu

Osamu always seemed to be favored, so naturally a lot of people asked him on dates, not only that but a lot of people did go on dates with him. But now you were dating him things slowed down. He stopped going on dates and naturally asked people to stop showing up when he was out with you. Well one thing for sure you are big now. You were Osamu’s lover. So of course people wanted you too now. You were everything everyone wanted, tied with the fact you were with Osamu and that just made you want more. This was a lot and to be honest you would have loved this before you met Osamu but now you kind of hoped all of that would stop. News flash it didn’t. Of course it didn’t, to be frank your opinion really matter to them, all that mattered was you were good looking enough to be with Osamu.

Your relationship was built on love and that’s all that mattered. You two really did love and trust each other. It was what your relationship was built on. It was what all relationships were built on. Your personalities went hand and hand. You loved going out and dancing. You loved midnight slurpees and driving on the freeway to nowhere, all windows down. You had to have the sunroof open and blasting music, singing on the top of your lungs. You loved the feeling. Osamu loved watching you feel so free, having so much fun with that amazing smile on your face. Who wouldn’t love that? You dragged Osamu to do cute things that nobody else would get. You loved dressing up, either in tight fitting clothing or loose fitted ones. It didn’t matter. You just loved the feeling. You felt invincible when you did that. You felt so free and you didn’t care if people judged you. Your opinion was the only one that mattered. You thought you looked amazing and that’s all that mattered to you. You loved dancing in the rain. Osamu didn’t mind at all. He loved to be with you and he was open to new things no matter how ridiculous it was. You guys jumped off a fucking plane one time together. Of course with a parachute but god you guys trusted each other that much.

This was the man you wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He was everything you ever wanted.. and now you had him as your partner and god that made you so happy. You were so happy. Your two year anniversary was soon and you knew you had to do something big. You got the whole day ready, you started off with just a movie. It was a romance movie, and you planned to ease into it. You didn’t wanna do anything too much. Something where you two could just be near each other. It might have sounded stupid, but that was all you really needed to be happy at the moment. You just felt so free when he was near you. You felt so fucking happy with him, and it was so hard to explain.

Then you had dinner together, you decided it would be best to have something more fancy. You wanted to show all your appreciation for all he had done for you. He stuck by your sides at your lowest moments and you didn’t know what else to say but thank you. You wanted to show how much you loved him, and to be frank, you weren’t too good at showing your affection. Everyone told you that. You knew it was true. You knew from your last relationships. You wanted this one to be different.. you couldn’t let him leave you, you couldn’t live without him now that you were dating him you felt safe, but never really comfortable. Too afraid to lose him, too afraid to fully let loose around him. You didn’t wanna scare him off. You really wanted to make this last.

Lastly, a nice walk.. right now they had a Christmas tree show. They were decorated.. Little did he know you actually had a tree in the show. It was in a park area and people just gotta have hot coco and relax and walk and see the trees. You decorated one just of you two and such. You tried your best to make it look nice but in the end you were just overwhelmed and wanting to give up. Atsumu reassured he would love it, and he was lucky to even have you so there was nothing to worry about anymore. Osamu loved you and that wouldn’t change over just some stupid tree. You have been good to him.. right?

When you met with him he was all dressed up. You two decided to wear matching scarfs and you were excited to see he went through with it. It was a warm dark burgundy color. With that he had a brown large coat and just classical dark brown shoes on. You were wearing A white turtleneck, a regular sized brown coat, black boots, and the signature burgundy scarf. Osamu looked so good in it, you two were matching more then you too though you would but you were quite glad. You slowly walked over, it took a moment before Osamu gestured for you to take his hand which you happily did, You never took the lead for that stuff. You always waited for him to ‘let you’ take his hand. Which might be stupid but it has been two years now and would it be weird to start now..? You didn’t wanna push your luck. You didn’t wanna ruin anything right now. Not when you were so happy.. Not when everything felt so nice. Not when everything seemed to be going good. You just had to hold on a bit longer. Just a bit longer.. maybe a bit would be forever but as long as everything stayed like this then you would be more than happy to continue as you did.

You guys arrived at the movie a bit later, You guys got one of the best seats in the whole theater but not only that but you also had the best person next to you in the entire world. Osamu. For most of the movie you guys exchanged loving glances and such. Your hands were cold as you interlocked with his. His fingertips were warm to the touch and not only that but holding his hand made you so happy. This date made you so happy. Just hanging out with him made you so happy. Sometimes it felt as if you couldn’t breathe and maybe that was a bad thing.. but god that tight pain in your chest made you feel so happy. You started to crave that feeling.

“The movie was great, baby.. Thanks for taking me to it.” He chuckled a bit, kissing your cheek as you two got up and started walking to dinner.

“Mhm of course love.. thanks for coming with me..” You muttered you were not too good with feelings so maybe this wasn’t the right thing to say at the moment but you didn’t mind.

“Ya of course, I am glad that you came out with me.” He whispered his grip tightening a bit as you walked with him. “I love you so much hun..” He muttered and in response you just smiled and shook your head. Osamu wasn’t one to throw around the word love. You learned that when you mentioned something about someone's appearance and saying you loved it. It started this stupid argument about how strong the world love meant. Osamu never liked it when you mentioned someone else and in the same sentence said the word love. He felt as if that word was and should only be used with people who are close to your heart, not just some random classmate or waiter. At first you didn’t understand but then Atsumu explained that Osamu’s last relationship ended because of cheating. He used to use the word love with everything but now only for you, and you alone.

After a few minutes you finally said something about it, “I love you too my darling..” you whispered in his ear as you held the door open for him. You moved to the side letting him go in first. You smiled a bit as you got moved next to him,  waiting for your turn to be seated. You luckily made a reservation, the place was packed with people, but of course it was. It always was, so now with Christmas coming up you weren’t surprised people were trying to get anything close to then. Soon enough you were seated and all you could focus on was Osamu, and his small beautiful smile. His perfectly calm face. His sweet tone. All that made you so happy. It always made you so happy. He glanced up from the menu chuckling a bit as he spoke, “Hun.. are you going to look at the food or me the whole time? I don’t want you going hungry,” he smiled a bit.

“Oh.. sorry,” you felt the warmth of the blood rush to your cheeks and tips of your ears. You didn’t think he had noticed, and since he did it was more embarrassing than you thought it was going to be. You glanced at the menu, you smiled a bit as you found what you wanted. Looking back up your eyes met with his and you immediately looked back down. “For someone who told me to look at the menu instead of the person of you then I would think you would do the same,” You smiled softly looking back up to find his ears and cheeks having hints of pink.

“Well I have picked out my food have you, hun?” He smiled a bit as he looked up to you. You and him always got the same thing, though you both pretended to act like that wouldn’t happen, you both pretended that you were interested in other options. Maybe because it felt really repetitive or something but it was what you liked.

“Mhm the same as always.. Are you getting what you usually do..?” You asked and in response he just shook his head. You order soon after. Once the food came, it was the same as always. The flavor coating all over your mouth. You were quite happy with the taste. You always ordered a cream sauce risotto, with mushrooms and shrimp. Osamu ordered squid ink pasta with a cream sauce and shrimp as well. The food was always so good so you were glad it was the same today. After you got dessert. Osamu whispered something to the waiter as they walked away. A few minutes later they came back with a lemon sorbet. Next thing you know Osamu smiled a bit and pulled out a small box flipping in open. There were two initials carved into it. They were matching promise rings.

“Y/n, I love you so much. You were always there for me and I want to thank you. I know we are both still young but I want to make sure you will stay mine. So y/n can you make a promise that when the time comes we will marry..?” He asked softly. You were tearing up a bit as you shook your head and then the ring slipped on. God it was perfect. But now you were worried your gift wasn’t good enough being that Osamu bought you a ring and you just decorated a tree. Osamu and you finished dinner by getting up. Now just one more place to go. The Christmas tree show. You walked with him slowly, not wanting him to be so disappointed faster. When you arrived at the park Osamu ran to the bathroom for a second. To be honest he had been nervous the whole time so now he just wanted to freshen up a bit.

As you waited for him a male approached you. “Hey love.. you here alone?” he chuckled a bit. A bitter smile plastered on his face.

“No, I am actually here with my boyfriend. I am just waiting for him at the moment,” You tried to give a smile back, though you didn’t like the nickname love, It made you feel as if he and you were in a relationship, though you haven’t met this man once.

“Ah  what a shame that he is making such a pretty face wait..” He muttered, “how about you and me get a hot chocolate? Hm?” He chuckled a bit more. Though it seemed extremely forced, unnatural.

“No I just wanna wait for him, but thank you for the offer,” He was taller than you, maybe Osamu’s height. Close to that. You didn’t feel comfortable, you felt anything but comfortable right now you just wanted to leave. You didn’t wanna be near this guy one more minute, but at the same time you wanted to wait for Osamu to come out of the bathroom so he didn’t think you left him. So In the end you just waited for him.

“Ah well could I just get your number sweetheart..?” He chuckled a bit, throwing those nicknames that made you want to throw up that made you want to cry out for help. But when you said no he just kept pushing. Then that warm arm around your waist. Osamu's warm arm.

“Oh hey,” He knew what was happening but he knew that you were more loyal than anyone else he had ever met, he knew that you didn’t feel comfortable, “sorry for making you wait hon, we can go see the Festival now okay?” He lucky got you out of there, “I am sorry about that hun did he do anything to you,” He asked, walking down the trail slowly.

“No he didn’t do anything, don't worry, thank you for helping me get out of there, I really appreciate it,” you muttered softly. Soon enough you had arrived at the tree, his face turned from stunned to a weird emotion that you couldn’t quite read. Which was quite new you normally could understand what he was trying to say and now this just made you ten times more worried then you should have been.

“You did this..?” He muttered softly, turning to you as you shook his head, “Ah I see, I really like it. That photo is when we first met. I was so nervous.. Did I tell you that? I saw you just sitting there and I thought I was late. That one is from the first time you met my brother, oh god he even annoyed me with the amount of questions he asked you. That one was from our first slushy night, after your bitch of a friend dumped you to hang out with the cooler kids though I swear you were the coolest person in the world. Oh at that one is when we were about to go skydiving together, god I was so terrified did I tell you that? You acted so excited so I tried to pull off a cool face but once we were doing it god it was so fun. This is so beautiful. Thank you baby.. This is the best gift in the entire world.” He whispered tears falling from his cheeks as he pulled you to a hug. “God I love you baby..” You felt all the worry and doubt melt off of your shoulders. You were so glad he liked it. You were so glad he remembered these memories. These were some of the best memories of your life but you knew more were going to come.

“I love you so much too baby. I was so worried you weren’t going to like it. God thank god. You do so much for me and I couldn’t wish for anything more than this. You are the one I wanna spend the rest of my life with. I feel so free with you, I feel so happy with you, I feel like myself with you.. I get nervous to hold your hand. Every time you smile I just fall in love again. Everything you do makes me feel so free and happy, and I don’t want this feeling to ever end so thank you so much for everything you ever did for me. Those slushy nights are the best nights of my life, any time when I am with you I feel like nothing can hold me back. Nothing can harm me. You make me feel like royalty.. I don’t know what I did to deserve you but thank you for staying with me. I love you so much.” You muttered softly. Next thing you know you were pulled into a kiss. His warm lips pressed on yours, both of your salty tears mixing with each other. Little i love you're falling from both of your lips. This is how it was supposed to go. You and him, forever. You were soulmates, you knew you guys had to be.

The Fight

As soon as Atsumu got home he ran through the room. Finding the thing he wanted he grabbed his lover tight. He had immediately regretted it seeing the pure fear in his lover's eyes. He dropped his arm down and bit his lips for a second.

“Sorry om-” he tried to say.

“Fuck.” Sakusa ran to the bathroom locking himself in. He felt disgusting not because he didn’t like his lover touching him. It was quite the oppisite he craved his touch. But, his germaphobia had spiked up lately and he couldn’t control it. He started a shower, washing himself as clean as possible. As he came out Atsumu rushed over.

“Sorry I wasn’t thinking” atsumu whispered.

“Of course you weren’t when do you ever think?” Sakusa screamed.

“Are you serious? I didn’t mean to do it, I just wanted to hug you. I am sorry I forgot that I don’t have a normal boyfriend,” Atsumu shouted back. The look from Sakusa's eyes changed completely.

“What?” Sakusa couldn’t belive his ears

“I wish you had yourself as a boyfriend. You suck. You fucking suck. You never listen and you never respect my boundaries. I told you it was high this week and instead of listening you immediately Wanna touch me. God knows where you were. I really wish I wasn’t dating you. You are too loud. You are too clingy. You're disgusting, you touch everything. So if we are talking about normal. I hope you realize your the farthest thing from normal.” Sakusa said, looking dead into his eyes.

It took a second for Atsumu to feel the full weight of his words. Tears brimmed his eyes as he bit his lip.“Sorry.. I..I won’t bother you for the rest of the week,” he managed to whisper through the tears. He grabbed his keys and phone leaving to his brothers. 

“Wai-” Sakusa was already too late, the door slamming behind Atsumu.

The Aftermath 

They hadn’t talked for over a week. He didn't know what to think about it, and he needed time alone. Sakusa soon stopped trying to contact him as much, only calling twice a day.

Atsumu’s phone rang. Slowly he reached out and looked at his phone. There was his caller ID. “My Omi” Unknowingly tears began to fall as Atsumu picked up.

“Hello?,” he could hear Sakusa’s soft voice.

“H..Hey,” he forced the words out.

“I’m sorry.” The words just fell out of Sakusa’s mouth so effortlessly. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Atsumu wished didn’t pick up the phone. “Please..”

Shit. Shit. Don’t please. Don’t you dare Atsumu. You can’t keep running into his arms. He needs to learn the weight of his words. But.. No you can’t he has done this before, just think for once. ~ Atsumu

But even though he told himself no, The words wouldn’t come out, “One chance...” he whispered, “Only one more Om- Sakusa.”

“Thank you...” A smile could almost be heard in his voice. A smile full of lies. One he knew would hurt him but he couldn’t resist it. “Let’s talk about it when you get home okay?”

“Okay talk to you soon, love you.” Then silence as he hung up.

A Month Later

Fuck. How could you fall again? You knew it was coming and yet you didn’t leave him. You are so weak. Weak for him. ~ Atsumu

There stood Sakusa, his arms around another person. God damn it. Yamaguchi looks over at Atsumu. Surprised to see how ‘okay’ Atsumu looked.

But he wasn’t okay. He wanted to leave but then again he couldn't control himself suddenly the words fell out.

“Do you love me?” Atsumu whispers loud enough for Sakusa to hear.

He turns to see Atsumu. “Baby..” his voice was soft.

“No seriously do you love me, or has this been a joke to you?” His voice breaks a little. “God fucking damn it. Do you even know what day today is?” His eyes now filled with so much hatred. As the silence hit him. So did the realization, then the pain.

“I..I” Sakusa didn’t know what to say. His arms around the other person slowly dropped.

He looked at Atsumu still trying to process what he had done. He bit his lip. The flavor of the cherry chapstick still is strong on his lips. The flavor is so sweet, yet bitter.

The tears came to his eyes.

Stop it Sakusa. Stop it! It is your fault stop it! You keep hurting him. What are you doing? Stop it. You love him don’t you? ~ Sakusa

No, he needed them to stop. It was his fault and he needed to remember that. “I do love you my ‘Tsumu.”

He looked dead into Sakusa’s eyes hurt.

“What...?”

“Love? You call this love? Well I guess my parents were right. Love is the best thing ever.” Atsumu’s voice was soft yet it felt like he was yelling. The sarcasm rolled off his tongue with ease

Sakusa’s head hung low ashamed and embarrassed. “Im sorry..” was all he could force out.

Love? How can you lie so effortlessly. How dare you still call me your’s? ~ Atsumu

Atsumu took a deep breath. “Om-“ he stopped himself “Sakusa you are only sorry because you got caught. Osamu, Suna, Oikawa, Kenma, Hinata, Tendou, Yamaguchi... everyone but me could see how much we didn’t work.” Atsumu tightened his grip on the gifts. He looked down.

Yamaguchi finally spoke, “Sakusa, I hope you realized how much you messed up. He fucking loved you so much. He told us that you would change. So how long has this been going on?”

Atsumu gulped, not wanting to know himself. “Please let’s just go..”

Yamaguchi looked at Sakusa with disgust, “Not yet. Sakusa has it been a joke since day one?”

Please say something. Please just answer omi.. ~ Atsumu

No of course not. I love him! I love my ‘Tsumu. Come on Sakusa say it! Tell them how much you love him ~ Sakusa

Silence.

I’m Sorry Atsumu... I can’t keep hurting you. I want to be with you but I know that I will just keep hurting you. Give me some time I promise my baby, I will gain your trust again. I will prove to you, that I love you. I will show everyone how much I love you. Trust me just this once please. ~ Sakusa

“Thanks for the answer.” Yamaguchi cursed.

Atsumu finally was able to make eye contact with his lover. Slowly he put the bag down. “Happy anniversary love...” He bit his lip and gave one final fake, broken smile. “We should take a break. Thanks for my gift. Thank you for the memories. Thank you for everything. Goodbye.”

His eyes watered as he walked away.

Sakusa knew in a week this was not going to be fixed yet, he still wanted to be with him he still wanted to be his.

I am sorry that I broke our promises. I am sorry that I lost your trust. I love you so much. Goodbye my love. ~ Sakusa

Why?

Kenma opened his locker as notes fell out. He bit his lip as he had been getting hateful notes ever since Kuroo told everyone about him being gay. He slowly got down on his knees as he picked them up. Just then Kuroo came towards him.

“Kenma?” Kuroo mumbled. Kenma turned around quickly holding a handful of the notes. Kuroo’s eyes widened at all the notes.

“What? Are you here to make fun of me?” Kenma Blurted out. Tears falling down from his cheeks.

“No.. I’m sorry Kenma. I just..” Kuroo tried to think of a good reason. But there wasn’t any. There was no reason to break his trust. Break his promise. To break his heart.

Fuck you Kuroo, Why did you have to make me fall for you? Why did you have to break my heart? Why did you have to tell everyone?You promised not to. ~ Kenma

“Why. Why did you have to do this to me? Just fucking leave me alone, you got everything you ever wanted right? A girlfriend. To be popular. To be freed from me,” Kenma whimpered.

Kuroo looked at him blankly. He didn’t know what to say. “Kenma... You know I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“You didn’t mean to have this happen yet it still did and you did nothing to stop it.” Kenma uttered under his breath.

“What did you want me to do?” Kuroo argued.

Kenma looked annoyed as he finally spoke up. “What did I want you to do? Oh I don’t fucking know. Not tell everyone. Not lie to me. To keep somethings fucking private. But you know what it is my fault. I shouldn’t ha- ” He choked putting his hand to his mouth. As bloody flower petals fell out of his mouth. “Shit..” he mumbled as he grabbed the plastic bag out of his backpack full of the bloody flower petals, placing them in the bag.

Kuroo looked at him in horror, “Kenma... Do you hav-?”

“Yes I have hanahaki disease, go ahead and tell everyone I will most likely die soon anyway.” Kenma shut his locker and walked away leaving Kuroo stunned with teary eyes.

My Everything

Kuroo ran after kenma as he walked down the street to his house. “KENMA WAIT UP,” he screamed.

Kenma had quit volleyball the day Kuroo had told everyone. He never spoke to anyone anymore. He cried himself to sleep while choking out the flower petals.

“KENMA PLEASE,” Kuroo begged as kenma finally came to a stop as he choked again. He grabbed the bag coughing out the flowers. Then proceed walking Kuroo finally catching up.

“What do you want?” Kenma cried out.

“Kenma please I-I want to make it up to you..” Kuroo looked scared.

“Why? So when I die you feel better?” Kenma looked at him. “Look at me I am friends with the gay freak. I made his life so much better.” Kenma mocked. “Leave me the hell alone.”

“Kenma no.. I just want to make it up to you. I shouldn’t have done that to you.” Kuroo bit his lip. Noticing Kenma’s sudden decrease in weight, and pale skin.

“Two weeks.” Kenma whispered tears coming to his eyes.

Kuroo looked at him shocked. “Please..”

“Kuroo, this isn’t the time to try and become buddy buddy with me. I’ll be gone and you will never see me again okay? Get that in your thick skull. It is all- ” kenma stopped himself.

You can’t tell him it is him. You can’t let him know how much pain he has brought you not including telling the whole school. It will crush him. No matter what you do, do not tell him ~ Kenma

“Why won’t you get the surgery?” Kuroo yelled, angry.

Because I don’t want to lose feelings for you. Kuroo I love you so much okay? You never got that. You flirt for no fucking reason. Did you really think I wouldn’t fall for you? Damn it Kuroo ~ Kenma

“Because why would I want to stop loving him? He is my everything. Why would I want to live in a world where I lose feelings for my everything?” Kenma laughed as if it was a joke. As they arrived at his house he unlocked the door, slowly walking in. “Kuroo think about it this way. If you had a crush on Alisa and she had a boyfriend, would you give up your feelings for her so you could live? Or hold on to that chance she will like you’re before your dead? I know he won’t like me. But I rather not live in a world where everyone makes fun of me for liking a guy. By the way make sure when I die nobody shows up, okay?” Kenma shut the door finally crying and coughing the bloody flower petals out. Leaving Kuroo stunned.

Hope?

Kenma got to school, expecting the notes as he opened the locker but instead there was nothing there. He bit his lip looking around.

Where’s Kuroo? Why the hell is there no notes? ~ Kenma

There came Kuroo, his eyes red and puffy. He looked like a mess. “Kenma.. please.” Kuroo looked at him. “I don’t want to lose you..”

“What the hell did you do?” Kenma looked at him.

“I stopped it. I stopped the bullying. I shouldn’t have told them. Just stay with me please..” Kuroo cried out.

“Kuroo I am not getting the surgery. So if you are here to tell me to do the surgery. Please just let me die alone,” Kenma smiled. “Kuroo listen it is going to hurt but listen to me you will move on soon enough okay? Go and hang out with Alisa okay? Don’t worry about me.” He choked, grabbing the new bag and throwing up the flowers.

“No. I can’t leave you. Not like this. Please Kenma.” Kuroo pleaded.

Kuroo I can’t let you help me. This isn’t the time for that. I already know you don’t like me so stop giving me false hope okay? ~ Kenma

“Kuroo we can hang out, okay? But no talk about surgery, or the disease please. I just wanna die peacefully.” Kenma smiled weakly.

“Okay...” Kuroo smiled weakly.

Tough moments

“Kuroo, I am going to miss you..” Kemna smiled softly.

“Then don’t go. Do the surgery. That guy doesn’t deserve you.” Kuroo whispered

Kuroo... it is you. Why can’t you see that I like you? Well it is not like I want you to know that I like you. I know you too well. You’re going to take it too hard, you’re going to think it is your fault. I can’t do that to you. I love you to much for that ~ Kenma

“Kenma will you ever tell me who it is?” Kuroo bit his lip.

“Why? Do you wanna know?” Kenma chuckled.

“Of course I wanna know. I wanna know who I will never talk to again!” Kuroo said in a serious tone.

Kenma laughed slightly, making Kuroo smile, “Kuroo, you know what I will tell you later. You probably don’t know them. But, You can’t be mad at them okay? You got to make sure they are not too sad for me, okay? You have to make sure they don’t dwell on my life too much. You promise?”

“I can’t promise I won’t smack them. But the rest I guess I can agree on,” Kuroo chuckled while tears fell down his face.

“Kuroo stop crying i’m not dead yet!” Kenma began to tear up.

Kuroo I’m going to miss you... thank you for everything you have done for me. ~ Kenma

Damnit Kenma. I wish you would do the surgery. Why won’t you do it? Why do you wanna leave me so bad? Do you hate me so much? God I fucked up so bad. I’m sorry I told everyone. I can’t believe you are going to leave me now. Your best friend. I wish I could be mad at you for liking whoever this stupid guy is. ~ Kuroo

“Hey is it Shoyo?” Kuroo blurted out.

“What?” Kemna looked over. “No, I like him as a friend. But me and him wouldn’t work. Well me and my crush wouldn’t work either I guess. Never mind. No I don’t like Shoyo so don’t slap him please.”

Kuroo mumbled something under his breath but kenma couldn’t hear what it was.

Late Night calls

Kenma woke to the sound of his phone going off, “Kuroo it is- ” He could hear muffled cries from the other side of the line. “Kuroo whats wrong?”

“She broke up with me.” Kuroo cried out.

“I’m sorry. You wanna talk about it?” Kenma mumbled half asleep.

“Sorta but not really. I rather talk in person... can you come over by any chance?” Kuroo pleaded. “I know it is late, but please..?”

Kenma bit his lip slowly getting out of bed. He was already wearing some regular clothes. He put on his socks and went downstairs to put on his shoes. “I’m on my way okay..” Kenma yawned. Softly coughing as bloody petals.

God damnit why would you call him so late at night kuroo. Your so stupid. ~ Kuroo

When Kenma knocked on the door ten minutes later Kuroo immetety opened the door. “Sorry..” Kuroo whispered. His tear stained cheeks looked so beautiful with the glow of the street lights. Almost too perfect.

“It’s okay let’s just talk okay? Tell me whatever you want to.” Kenma smiled as Kuroo led his way to his room slowly laying down and gesturing for Kenma to lay next to him.

“She doesn’t like the fact that I’ve been hanging around you so much. She thought I was cheating. I didn’t want to make the same mistake as last time by sharing your secrets so I didn’t tell her about the hanahaki disease... One thing lead to another and then she broke up with me.” Kuroo cried.

“You should have told her. This is all my stupid fault. I’m sorry Kuroo. I am sorry I fucked up again.” Kenma whispered.

“What? No it isn’t your fault. Kenma you didn’t do anything wrong,” Kuroo stated, looking at him. The boy was paler then the week before and he was almost all skin and bones.

“Kuroo thank you for always being my best friend.” Kenma teared up again.

“Kenma I am going to miss you so much you were my best friend for so many years.. why do you have to do this to me.” Kuroo hugged him tight.

“Kuroo... they are my everything. I don’t know what I would do without them and I don’t want to. I am sure you will be able to move on fast, don’t worry you will be okay.” Kenma smiled a weak smile.

Goodbye My Love

God Kuroo it hurts. It’s hard to breathe now. I am going to miss you so much. I sorry I couldn’t make myself take the dumb sugery ~ Kenma

Kenma slowly wrote as he coughed up flower petal by flower petal. He was in the hospital. Everyone begged him to get the surgery but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. The tear rushed down his face as he cried. “God damnit Kuroo..” he choked up.

Kuroo finally got the call rushing over there. Kenma smiled softly as the tears wouldn’t stop pouring. God how he wished his first and last love was there. But he knew by the time he got there he would be gone. Taking his final breath, his lungs filled with the blood petals. Tears streamed down his pale and bone face. Kenma’s eyes finally shut.

Then Silence.

Kuroo came five minutes later. He cried loudly as he saw the plae body of his best friend. seeing the note he picked it up and began to read.

Dear Kuroo,

I’m going to miss you so much. I am sorry I messed up your life so much from your girlfriend, to being popular. I fucked up bad didn’t I. Do you remember when you learned about this stupid sickness... I lied. You do know him. Please remember what you promised to me. You will not get angry at him. You will make sure he is okay. Lastly you will make sure he moves on and doesn’t dwell too much okay? Kuroo you need to promise me. I wish I was here to hear you say you promise, but I trust you okay? Kuroo I want to ask you one more thing when you learn who this person is can you tell them it is not their fault. Because it is not. Kuroo please promise me... Thank you. Kuroo you were everything to me okay? My best friend, my teammate, my opponent. But Kuroo you were my first love, and my last. I’m sorry that I couldn’t bring myself to do the procedure. But kuroo I couldn’t let myself, not love you. I washed all my petals. Can you please go to my room on my desk is a jar of them. Please dump them in the ocean.

~ Kenma

Kuroo cried loudly as he looked at the lifeless body.

One Year Later

TV

Iwaizumi looked at the tv chuckling to himself.

“So do you have someone you’re dating at the moment?” The reporter asked Oikawa.

“Mhm! My Iwa-Chan!” Oikawa smiled at the camera, hoping that Iwaizumi was watching.

“When did you guys meet?” The reporter was ready to make this the next big story.

“I’ve known him since I was a child, and I knew I loved him from that day forward. Buttt he was too much of a wimp to ask me out!” Oikawa giggled. Iwaizumi’s face went bright red.

Baby why do you got to embarrass me like that huh? ~ Iwaizumi

“So does he live close to here?” The reporter was smiling happily about how much they were able to get down.

“Uh..” Oikawa’s face changed.

If 11,221 miles is close then ya of course he is close.. close enough to kiss, and hug. ~ oikawa

“No. Um” Oikawa’s teammates called him over. It was time to go. “Thanks for the interview! Bye bye Iwa-chan I love you!! Thank you to all my fans as well.” Then Oikawa bolted.

I miss you. I know you miss me too~ but you don’t have to worry. I will see you soon. I can’t have. No, I will not let us be so far apart any longer. ~ Iwaizumi

Iwaizumi turned off the tv and looked over at the seat next to him, god he missed him so fucking much.

Oikawa grabbed his stuff walking into the bus. He wished he hadn’t heard what the reporter asked last. They just won! They. Just. Won. Yet just to remember that he couldn’t be with his lover, to celebrate his win it just hurt a little too much.

Bring...

Bring...

Bring...

Oikawa looked down to see his lover’s contact picking up. “Baby! What are you doing up?”

“That was quite the stunt you pulled there wasn’t it? Wimp really?” Iwaizumi chuckled.

“You were! You should have confessed your love to me earlier!” Oikawa giggled.

“Are you okay baby? I saw what they asked you.. I know it is hard, okay?” Iwaizumi mumbled. “I miss you, okay..?”

Oikawa giggled softly, “You know me too well.. I miss you too my Hercules!”

Iwaizumi blushed harder, “Kawa-babe I told you don’t call me that!”

Oikawa blushed too, “Nuh-uh! But you know what then, I’ll call you... My milk bread!”

Iwaizumi chuckled, “Now you’re calling me food huh?”

When Oikawa got home he FaceTimed Iwaizumi until he fell asleep.

Perfect Ring For A Perfect Boy

Iwaizumi kinda knew what he wanted to get but he decided to call Hanamaki, Mattsun, Atsumu, and Yamaguchi for help.

“Okay well what did you have in mind Iwaizumi?” Yamaguchi smiled softly.

“Um.. I just want to get him something that he will like.” Iwaizumi mumbled. “Do you think he will even accept my proposal?”

“What?” Atsumu looked over at him.

“Like.. we haven’t seen each other for a year and he might of found someone..” his voice trailed off mumbling to himself. Panicking.

“Iwaizumi snap out of it. He likes you okay? No, he loves you and you love him. You have a week till the flight so let’s get the ring okay?” Atsumu chuckled.

“Ya your right.. Thanks.” Iwaizumi whispered and looked around.

“Mattsun when are you going to ask me out?” Makki said jokingly.

“I don’t know bro. I was waiting for you.” Mattsun mumbled without thinking.

“What?” Makki looked confused.

“Oh shit. Uh..” Mattsun looked down.

“He likes you and you like him. Cool now date and stop making this day all about you two!” Atsumu screamed. everyone looked over. “Shit. Sorry!” Iwaizumi, and Yamaguchi started laughing. “StOp it! Someone needed to say it!”

“Like how you and omi-omi need to be together?” Yamaguchi giggled.

“Hey only I can call him that!” Atsumu blushed “and by the way your one to speak how about you and Tsukki~?”

“Wait, you like me?” Makki questioned.

“If I can’t call him omi-omi you can’t call my boyfriend Tsukki!” Yamaguchi covered his mouth quickly, blushing hard.

“Your boyfriend~?” Atsumu teased.

“You like me?” Mattsun whispered.

“Shit!” Yamaguchi blushed harder. “Well at least my boyfriend isn’t in love with a bee~”

“Uh ya.. wanna date?” Makki chuckled

“Hey! I’m not a bee!” Atsumu covered his mouth “Shit!”

“Oh so you and Sakusa are dating~” Yamaguchi teased.

“Uh ya sure” Mattsun chuckled looking at Makki’s blushing face.

“Guys can you help me get the ring?” Iwaizumi chuckled.

“Oh sure Iwa-Chan~” Everyone said at the same time.

“Hey only Oikawa can call me that!” Iwaizumi yelled back at them.

“Do you mean Tōru? Because he won’t be Oikawa much longer~” Makki teased.

“What do you guys think of this one?” Iwaizumi pointed to one.

“Perfect!” Yamaguchi and Atsumu agreed.

“Wow spending so much on Tōru yet couldn’t even buy us food!” Mattsun and Makki said on cue.

They bought the ring and Iwaizumi began to pack when he got home.

Plane rides

Iwaizumi sat in his seat.

“Iwaizumi is that you?” Someone asked. As Iwaizumi turned his head he saw y/n.

“Uh do I know you?” He looked like he was genuinely trying to remember you.

“Oh no! Sorry I just loved watching your old games with Oikawa.” Y/N smiled.

“Oh.. can I ask you something?” Iwaizumi was still unsure.

“Ya go for it,” You chuckle.

“I am going to go surprise Tōru.. For his birthday.. I kind of have a date set up, and a ring. Is it no use? Do you think he will actually accept?” Iwaizumi began to tear thinking of all of the wrong things that could happen.

“What are you talking about? Of course he could accept. You and him were always meant to be okay? Don’t ever think otherwise!” Y/N said with a huge smile. “So go out there and propose. Don’t think twice about it okay?”

“Okay thanks..” He smiled a bit.

You and him talked for hours as he showed you photo’s of his lover and you showed him photo’s of your favorite things.

Home

He got a rental grabbing all his stuff which wasn’t much and drove to Oikawa’s. Knocking on the door.

“COMING!” Oikawa screamed. He slowly looked through the peephole and started to tear immediately opening the door. “BABY!” He cried as he hugged Iwaizumi.

“I missed you so much.” He picked Oikawa up and held him tight. Kissing him, dropping all his stuff on the floor as he walked inside, closing the door behind him. “I love you so much,” he mumbles.

Iwaizumi blushed hard as he kissed Oikawa again. “Miss me?”

Oikawa softly shaked his head, pointing for Iwaizumi to bring him to his living room. “Carry me~!” He cried with a laugh.

Iwaizumi carried him over chucking as oikawa face turned bright red as one of his teammates said “Uh oikawa? Who’s this?”

“My boyfriend..” he mumbled his head in Iwaizumi’s shoulder, never wanting to let go.

“Uh hi?” Iwaizumi chuckled as he. Heard oikawa breath in his own scent

I missed you so much.. please don’t ever leave me again.. ~ Oikawa

Tears were soaking Iwaizumi’s shirt as he rubbed Oikawa’s back. “Kawa baby it’s okay, no need to cry.”

His teammates were chuckling softly. “Stop ittt!!” Oikawa yelled, hugging tighter.

“Tōru why don’t you hang out with your teammates as I put my stuff down, and take a shower?” Iwaizumi mentioned.

“No..” Oikawa whined. “I want you to stay here.”

“But I don’t smell good and I’m not clean.” Iwaizumi smiled, kissing his nose.

“But, I don’t want you to leave me again!” Oikawa shouted.

“Baby what do you want me to do then?”

“I’ll come with you and my teammates can go home!” Oikawa giggled

His teammates grabbed their stuff and began to leave. “Bye guys, sorry.” Iwaizumi stated. Closing the door behind them. “You’re a handful aren’t you.”

Oikawa giggled, “Shower time stinky Iwa!”

“You’re one to talk! You smell like our old locker room!” Iwaizumi began to carry Oikawa into the bathroom.

Tōru Iwaizumi?

“Baby ready for our date?” Iwaizumi smiled softly.

“Um... Do you think I look fat wearing this?” Oikawa said looking in the mirror.

“What? No you look perfect!” Iwaizumi walked up behind him and kissed his neck. “I love you birthday boy..”

“I love me too~” Oikawa teased.

“As cocky as fucking ever huh?” Iwaizumi mumbled.

“Come on wimp~ don’t be like that!” Oikawa giggled.

“What did I tell you about that. Tōru!” He began to tickle the man until he forfeit.

“Ready?”

“Mhm ready!”

As they got to the movies first Oikawa and Iwaizumi chose the best seats. Slowly they sat in their seats. Oikawa missed Iwaizumi so much that for most of the move he was on his lap just holding him. Iwaizumi didn’t mind at all. He missed this too much to argue.

“You liked the movie?” Iwaizumi asked.

“Mhm..” Oikawa smiled softly.

“My favorite part was when she saved the dog.” Iwaizumi mentioned.

“Mine too...” Oikawa mumbled.

“Kawa there was no dog... I’m pretty sure. Wait, was there a dog.” Iwaizumi tried to remember.

“So we both weren’t paying attention huh?” Oikawa giggled

“Ready For dinner?” Iwaizumi whispered. The box felt heavy in his pocket.

“Mhm!” Oikawa giggled as they got seated at the place.

“Welcome to _____ if you need anything tell me!” Stated the waiter as they disappeared.

Oikawa shuffled over, finally sitting on his lap again.

“You must have missed me a lot huh?” Iwaizumi chuckled as he held Oikawa close.

“Mhm!” Oikawa blushed.

“Well get everything and anything you want okay babe?” Iwaizumi smiled.

“Okay! Thank you” he kissed his cheek quickly before retiring to the menu.

~AFTER THEY ORDERED AND GOT THEIR FOOD~

Iwaizumi knew he needed Oikawa to sit in his own seat before he could propose. “Baby-Kawa it is going to be hard to eat like this. Can you sit in your seat please?”

“Okay..” Oikawa got up and sat in his seat. Iwaizumi getting up for a second.

Here we go. Breath you can do this. Don’t Fuck this up. You want to marry him for god sake. Let’s do this! ~ Iwaizumi

He slowly knelt down one knee pulling out the ring box. “Tōru Oikawa you have always been there for me and I never want that to end. I want it to be you and me forever so please.... Tooru Oikawa can we make it Toru Iwaizumi? Will you make me the luckiest man in the world and please marry me?” He teared up opening the box to reveal a white gold band with a beautiful square diamond shaped ring. Mini diamonds around the whole band. Inside it had the words: Tōru Iwaizumi carved into it.

Wait.. Me? Shit! Don’t cry Oikawa! Fuck! ~ Oikawa

Oikawa giggled, “Mhm! Put it on me! Put it on!”

Iwaizumi slid the ring around his finger as tears fled both of their eyes. Everyone around them began to clap. “By the way you could have asked sooner you know~” Oikawa giggled.

“Always gotta be a bit of a shit when it comes to these things don’t you love?” Iwaizumi gave him a sharp kiss and chuckled.

I Do

Oikawa walked slowly down the aisle. At the other end was his soon to be husband Iwaizumi. Tears were flooding his eyes. He slowly walked up standing next to Atsumu, Yamaguchi, Akaashi, and Kenma. On Iwaizumi’s side was Sakusa, Makki, and Mattsun.

“Welcome everyone we have joined today to join these two beutiful souls as one. As children they were best friends, and today forward they will become a married couple. They will forever be binded by souls til death do there part.” The priest stated.

God he looks so fucking beautiful I am the luckiest man on the earth ~ Iwaizumi

Thank you so much... Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! ~ Oikawa

“Tōru I knew from the first day that I met you that I would need you to be mine forever. You were the best looking person I had ever seen. You knew when I was feeling down and knew how to help me when no one else could. I couldn’t imagine my life without you. You make me lose my mind almost every day. But yet without you I think I would lose myself, you Oikawa Tōru make my life complete. Surprisingly you seemed to love me even at my worst moments. I knew that I needed to marry you as soon as I could. I promise I will always make sure you do not overwork yourself and that you will always be safe and happy. So Oikawa Tōru will you be my husband forever until death do our part?”

“Mhm.. Iwaizumi Hajime, I love you so much. I don’t know how but you are the only person who knows when i am actually not okay. I love you so much and I couldn’t imagine my life without you so thank you. I knew from when we started dating that this was going to be tough. Long distance was hard... and will always be hard no matter who you are. Not to mention the 12 hour distance in time. But we made it work... you never gave up on me. I love you so much. I promise I will always be there to support you and help you through your toughest moments. So Iwaizumi Hajime will you be my husband forever until death do us part?”

“Yes I do.” Iwaizumi teared up more. They slowly slipped the rings onto each other’s hands.

“If there are no objections. With the power invested in me I pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss each other!” They kissed each other with salty tasting lips, red cheeks, red noses, and a smile.

“I love you Iwaizumi Tōru,” Hajime whispered as he picked him up.