#xia lin

the first half was amazing. seriously, I could not stop watching it. I spent seven and a half hours just sitting there and hanging on to each and every word. the chemistry between the two leads is undeniable, the supporting characters actually have plots of their own and are interesting and well-developed, and I’m a sucker for the marriage of convenience trope.... and then the second half happened.

now, immediately upon watching the episode that reveals that Ling Yizhou faked Xia Lin’s medical records, I was confused and concerned to say the least. I couldn’t figure out what they were doing with this plot for the life of me. and then she tells him she needs space, and he... does exactly the opposite??! it was creepy, possessive, manipulative, and problematic as fuck. but it was also 3am, I had spent all day watching this cdrama, and I needed to know how the fuck the writers thought they could fix this (because it’s a cdrama and it’s not gonna end without the leads getting together).

before delving more into the main relationship in the second half, a few things to mention before I forget- because this show has a lot of other aspects and facets besides the two leads. first, Chu Yan’s “death” made me lose my shit, because he’s an EXCELLENT character and I love him. thank god he came back so quickly, he brought so much to the show and i think without him I might’ve given up on this drama sooner. Jia Fei and Wen Li were incredibly cute together, and their relationship had the build up and tension that oftentimes are overlooked when creating a romance for the side characters. Nan Jin Tian was a decently intricate villain, although I’m not 100% sure if I ever fully understood his motive. Ling Yizhou’s mother was an incredibly complex character though, and I appreciated all the twists and turns she put the characters through, and how in the end, her actions are more morally grey than pure evil.

back into the main relationship- Ling Yizhou handles Xia Lin’s anger in an objectively horrible way. bodyguards to prevent her from leaving? that’s some fucked up shit. honestly, during that episode, I was about 0.5 seconds away from exiting out, leaving a bad rating, and going back to watching random YouTube videos in order to forget the whole ordeal. seriously, I felt duped by the whole show- the premise didn’t even hint at the idea of this happening. and then Yizhou gets the call about Chu Yan’s death.

the “death” of Chu Yan hit both leads very hard due to the friendship he had cultivated with both of them, and the leads ended up seeking comfort in each other, Xia Lin reluctantly so. now, this is still problematic as shit, BUT I think it was one of the more realistic aspects of this show. for any musical theater fans out there, it reminded me of Eliza and Alexander seeking comfort in each other after Philip’s death. however, that alone didn’t make the show much better, until we begin to see the change in Ling Yizhou.

his past is uncovered even more, and his family history brings to light an explanation for his possessive, wild behavior. it DOES NOT justify it in any sense, but it does provide some context. furthermore, the change seen in Ling Yizhou seen throughout the rest of the show is very good- he understands what he did wrong, he realizes the pain and suffering he has caused her, and he tries to do right by her in whatever way he can. he does not force her into reconciling with him, which is probably the most important development of his- before, when she was upset, he would do whatever it took to get Xia Lin to forgive him and forget his mistakes. at this point, he understands he has no right to forgiveness, and she doesn’t have to take him back or even speak to him again. he does take steps to make amends and fix the pain he caused, but for the sole reason of righting his wrongs, not trying to force her into forgiving him.

the most important aspect to the relationship between Xia Lin and Ling Yizhou in the second half of the show is Xia Lin’s actions and attitudes. I felt that she forgave but did not forget Ling Yizhou’s wrongdoings, which is incredibly important. she didn’t just forgive him and move on- she called him out on his bullshit, stepped away from the situation to come to her own conclusions about what to do next, and didn’t just let his amends influence her decision. in the end, she went back to him because she loved him, she needed comfort, and with the knowledge that if he ever tried any of that shit again, the relationship would be terminated for good and she wouldn’t look back. she gave him a second chance because she wanted to, not because he did, and she made sure to set up boundaries and make him understand that his bullshit would not be tolerated any longer. it is key to mention though- if she had not gone back to him, she would’ve been completely justified in doing so- his apologies and redeeming actions and characteristics do not at all negate the fact that he was incredibly toxic and even downright abusive towards her up until this point in their relationship, and she had every right to leave him and never look back.

throughout the rest of the show, Ling Yizhou is respectful towards her boundaries, is honest with her about everything he does and his intentions, and works to make her as happy, safe, and loved as she should be. he no longer takes their relationship for granted, and though he occasionally makes small mistakes (he is still human, and a total adjustment to his character would be unrealistic without a show of progress), he takes full responsibility for his actions and takes steps to ensure he doesn’t wrong her again. i think Xia Lin’s character also took a turn for the better, because she is more strong-willed in her beliefs, takes much less shit from not only him but everyone else, and is much wiser due to the whole ordeal. there were a few minor details that didn’t get touched on the way I thought they should (like how Wen Li probably knew everything that was happening the entire time Ling Yizhou was fucking up but faced virtually no consequences or reprimand for his actions) and there were a few other small choices the writers made throughout that I didn’t agree with, but overall, the story ended decently well.

i think the title of the drama itself, well intended love, speaks volumes to the core ideas of the show. Ling Yizhou’s love for Xia Lin, while “well intended”, was possessive, manipulative, and toxic in so many ways for a good portion of the show. no matter how well intended his love was, he still hurt her in unimaginable ways, and hurt the life of the woman he wanted to cherish and love. i feel the theme of the show overall, that good intentions don’t always justify the actions, was shown after having seen all twenty episodes. i feel for a lot of people who saw it and quit after the first half, this looks like a show justifying abuse, and i can completely understand why it looks that way. looking at the entirety of the show though, i believe the writers did not justify the abuse, but rather showed a combination of how the way Ling Yizhou was raised contributed to his character, the undeniable truth that love without respect and honesty is gross and harmful, and that a person’s character can change with proper consequences to their actions to help them understand the immorality of what they have done, regardless of whether it was done with good intentions.

was the show problematic? yes. do i think the writers could’ve shown their overall message in a much better way, preferably with less shock value and gross misrepresentation of what the plot of the show is? definitely. do I think this show glorifies abusive relationships? honestly, i would say no, but i of course am always open to reconsidering my points. but overall, i feel the show overall brought an important message to light about the justifiability of our actions, has well-developed characters, and the relationship between the two leads was much better developed by the end of the show than I anticipated. will i be watching season two, if/when it comes out? most likely, if only to see how the writers could continue the story.

i also think it’s important to acknowledge cultural differences- i am american, and might have missed some points through my ignorance and lack of understanding of chinese culture and the differences in social norms and customs. for all those who have been thoroughly hating on the show without watching it all the way through, that is your prerogative and i 100% respect that, especially with some of the jarring and upsetting behaviors shown throughout the revelation of Ling Yizhou’s actions. but i also do hope you acknowledge that you haven’t seen the show in its entirety, and don’t necessarily have the whole story of how the writers handled Ling Yizhou’s character and his relationship to Xia Lin.