#xgh

So it seems like there's a software development methodology coming from Brazil that's kinda nice - it's called "eXtreme Go Horse" (XGH for short). It seems to be common knowledge among brazilian software devs, but not so much outside Brazil - and I think more people should know.

So, without further ado: this is...

The eXtreme Go Horse (XGH) Manifesto!

#1. I think therefore it's not XGH.

In XGH you don't think, you do the first thing that comes to your mind. There's no second option, only the fastest one.

#2. There are 3 ways of solving a problem:

The right way;

The wrong way;

The XGH way, which is exactly like the wrong one, but faster.

XGH is faster than any development process you know (see Axiom #14).

#3. The more XGH you do, the more you need it.

For every problem solved using XGH, about 7 more are created. And all of them will be solved using XGH. Therefore, XGH tends to infinite.

#4. XGH is completely reactive.

Errors only come to exist when they appear.

#5. In XGH anything goes.

It solves the problem? It compiled? You commit and don't think about it anymore.

#6. You commit always before updating.

If things go wrong your part will always be correct... and your colleagues will be the ones dealing with the problems.

#7. XGH doesn't have deadlines.

Deadlines given to you by your clients are all but important. You will ALWAYS be able to implement EVERYTHING in time (even if that means accessing the database through some shady script).

#8. Be ready to jump off when the boat starts sinking. Or blame someone else.

For people using XGH, someday the boat sinks. as time passes by, the probability only increases. You better have your resome ready for when the thing comes down. Or have someone else to blame.

#9. Be authentic. XGH don't follow patterns.

Write code as you may want. If it solves the problem, just commit and forget about it.

#10. There's no refactoring, just rework.

If things ever go wrong, use XGH to quickly solve the problem. Whenever the problem requires rewriting the whole software, it's time for you to drop off before the whole thing goes down (see Axiom #8).

#11. XGH is anarchic.

There's no need for a project manager. There's no owner and everyone does whatever they want when the problems and requirements appear (see Axiom #4).

#12. Always believe in improvement promises.

Putting TODO comments in the code as a promise that the code will be improved later helps the XGH developer. Nobody will feel guilt for the shit that has been done. Sure there won't be no refactoring (see Axium #10).

#13. XGH is absolute.

Delivery dates and costs are absolute things. Quality is totally relative. Never think about quality, but instead think about the minimum time required to implement a solution. Actually, don't think. Do! (See Axiom #1)

#14. XGH is not a fad.

Scrum? XP? Those are just trends. XGH developers don't follow temporary trends. XGH will always be used by those who despise quality.

#15. XGH is not always WOP (workaround-oriented programming).

Many WOP require smart thinking. XGH requires no thinking (see Axiom #1).

#16. Don't try to row against the tide.

If your colleagues use XGH and you are the only sissy who wants to do things the right way, then quit it! For any design pattern that you apply correctly, your colleagues will generate 10 times more rotten code using XGH.

#17. XGH is not dangerous, until you try putting some order into it.

This axiom is very complex, but it says that a XGH project is always in chaos. Don't try to put order into XGH (see Axiom #16). It's useless, and you'll spend a lot of precious time. This will make things go down even faster (see Axiom #8). Don't try to manage XGH, as it's auto-sufficient (see Axiom #11), as it's also chaos.

#18. XGH is your bro. But it's vengeful.

While you want it, XGH will always be at your side. But be careful not to abandon it. If you start something using XGH and then turn to some trendy methodology, you will be fucked. XGH doesn't allow refactoring (see Axiom #10), and your new sissy system will collapse. When that happens, only XGH can save you.

#19. If it's working, don't bother.

Never ever change - or even think of question - working code. That's a complete waste of time, even more because refactoring doesn't exist (see Axiom #10). Time is the engine behind XGH, and quality is just a meaningless detail.

#20. Tests are for pussies.

If you ever worked with XGH, you better know what you're doing. And if you know what you're doing, why test then? Tests are a waste of time. If it compiles, it's good.

#21. Be used to the 'living on the edge' feeling.

Failure and success are really similar, and XGH is not different. People normally think that a project can have greater chances of failing when using XGH. But success is just a way of seeing it. The project failed. You learned something with it? Then for you, it was a success!

#22. The problem is only yours when your name is on the code docs.

Never touch a class of code which you're not the author of. When a team member dies or stays away for too long, the thing will go down. When that happens, use Axiom #8.

#23. More is more.

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