#xfactor49

I bet no one dies in this comic. (X-Factor #49 – Dec 1989)

Iceman, who has amnesia here and thinks he’s a member of an alien race of fascists, clearly has not had a shower or a change of clothes since arriving on this planet 5 issues ago, because if he had, he would have accidentally removed that universal translator on his chest there and realized that something was horribly amiss when all the gleep gloop aliens stopped speaking American. Oh and also, these aliens that Bobby is living with don’t believe in touching, so of course Bobby breaks that taboo not with a gentle caress or a peck on the check of the woman he’s sweet on, but by fishing Lev’s tonsils out of her throat with his tongue. This guy belongs in one of those frats that people don’t graduate out of. (X-Factor #49 – Dec 1989)

Who in the fuck is Apocalypse talking to here? Acts of Vengeance seems whackadoodle, kind of like Secret Wars, but to be honest, yes, both Secret Wars stories were pretty bad, but I liked them. They were a guilty pleasure. And this fucking game show host Apocalypse is talking to here kind of reminds me of the Beyonder. It’s far too late for me to try to squeeze it in for a reading on this blog, but I wonder how much the Acts of Vengeance omnibus costs. Just to have, you know. For when the next time a global pandemic rolls through and I can’t leave the house…. OMG IT’S OUT OF PRINT AND COSTS 500$ ON AMAZON. FUCK YOU CAPITALISM. (X-Factor #49 – Dec 1989)

I’ve never read the Acts of Vengeance storyline, but these bits and pieces of it I’ve been getting here in X-Factor and New Mutants seem pretty baller. All the villains are ganging up on the heroes, having some kind of contest to see who can harvest the most superhero hearts or something? Man, count me in for that shit. And did Magneto turn full villain in that storyline? Last we saw, he was teetering on the edge of full villainhood when he broke up with the New Mutants, but he was still pretty morally rooted in a sound, non-evil philosophical belief system. I wonder what’s going on over there in those Avengers comics. (X-Factor #49 – Dec 1989)

X-Factor is able to snap Bobby out of his amnesia during the middle of his gladiator fight with Archangel, and ho boy is that asshat Rask about to get his butt kicked. Only one more issue of this story is left!! (X-Factor #49 – Dec 1989)

Alright alright this story is finally starting to pick up some steam and I’m actually enjoying it. Hank and Scott (who looks like he’s disguised as the Leader with that gigantic noodle of his there) finally reunite as they are both en route to stop Archangel from killing an amnesiac Iceman in a gladiatorial duel. Jean is the prisoner of the aliens who are conducting the gladiator duel, so all our heroes are about to be co-located soon. Hopefully we can kick the shit out of these fascists and get the hell off this planet. Hey, my posts are written and queued several months in advance so this may not be timely, but did anyone see that phone commercial with E.T. where E.T. comes back to Earth and meets Elliot’s kids? What a crock of shit that was. I don’t want to watch that shit in some stupid phone commercial! Make the god damned movie! Elliot is a good actor!! And HEY. E.T. Remember the last time you came to Earth and you almost DISEINTEGRATED because OUR FUCKING ATMOSPHERE WAS POISONOUS??? Way to bring some environmental protection gear with you this time, you stupid fucking alien!!! That shit was so stupid. (X-Factor #49 – Dec 1989)