#xenosart

So I thought about it. I looked at how people in the fandom made Green suspenders express himself and so I just took inspiration from that. Then came all his physical traits. The rounder features, chubby bod, short but taller than Resse, hairy, scruffy, his moles and his snaggletooth; Lots of these things I took from myself (besides the chubby part). Then his mental traits and his thought processes. Shy, cautious, nervous, quick to question things & easy to irritate. Before the Witherstorm, the only thing he knew how to do without second guessing himself was take care of Reuben, tend to his and Resse's farm, and hide behind Resse when life was too much to bear. Ever since Jesse split, Gresse came out of that with irrational thinking and emotions that were way too big for his own body. This can be explored on the google doc I think idk. As Brothers In Arms started to take a serious turn, so did my focus on what Gresse's motives are and what he was like overall.

But--it's been really clear to me that I started self projecting onto him a lot. Like a lot, 85% of his traits are just mine with a small spin on them and. BUT thankfully Jesse is a very fluid character & bless Telltale for the different in-game responses because any perception of Jesse is far from mischaracterization in a way...I just so happened to stick with the sweet heroic type.

Strangely enough, and I'm not embarrassed talking about this (in hopes that this post doesn't get any traction at all lol) but in a way he's an outlet to me. I'm a very anxious person with an unfortunate flip of having insane hotheadedness and stupid crazy anger issues. I wanted to express that through his gentle nature and the worsening state of 'The Thing'. Dating from Season 1 all the way to Season 3, the only official time its happened were three times in private, on the bridge during the fight with Aiden, and during Hadrian's games. What's special about The Thing is that it changes the brother's bodies very very slightly after its over, and once it happens once--its bound to happen again. After the games, it just got worse and worse. Getting more frequent in places where it shouldn't have even happened. But before that, it just used to be their eyes turning purple when they get angry. Unfortunate for Gresse, since he's way more snappy than Resse's ever been, this happened literally allllll the time--poor guy would close his eyes and leave the room out of embarrassment and fear before resolving what made him upset in the first place. How this traces back to me? Well, it just represents how it was never this bad. Of course I'm still a kind person at heart or whatever but I've experienced my own fair share of utter bullshit that greatly affected the way I reacted to things. My eyes don't turn purple though because I'm not an Ender-anything hybrid, haha. Anyway, it's not actually going to be a super huge part of the storyline--THOUGH, It's a big thing that scares the brothers and messes with their heads as well as being a motivator for going to Acacia Valley in the first place. It like. Only happens once or twice in the fanfic any other time is stopping it from happening.

Carrying on from that, I sometimes wish that we'd figured out what the story besides the main seasons would have been way way earlier. I'm perfectly fine with where Crest and I sit at with the current pacing of the story and what ideas we're going with. Though, the development that we've had with this AU contributes to the theme of what it means to be human. That's explored through the eyes of Resse and Gresse as overtime they realize that they aren't as human as everyone else in Beacontown seems to be. With that in mind, its a sentiment I came up with because it's something I can heavily relate to as someone who is queer and undiagnosed.

Gresse as a character just means a lot to me. Truthfully he's helped me figure things out about myself that I've never considered before. I love him as much as I love the entire AU and my friendship with Crestfallen/Cooper. He's an amazing guy and a wonderful artist...I'm entirely grateful that I turned into an important person in his life. Could you imagine my humble beginnings as a fan of his animations? It just makes me think I guess lol