Xavier,

You graduated before I got into high school, I think. So, I don't know what the hell you like. Originally I had something else in place of the cookies, but I have a baby sister, and she thought it would be a good idea to rip it apart. So, to make up for it, here's some nice ass cookies. I don't know if you'll like them, or not. I also don't know what size t-shirt you are, so I bought you this a little larger size, I think it will shrink if it's too big. Merry Christmas, I guess. 

From, 

There are a lot of ways I could respond to this, Xavier.

The most obvious would be to reveal your secret. But then where would be the fun in that? What would I possibly have on you in the hopes that, for once, you'll behave. Really, you used to be so classy. What happened?

The next choice could be to, of course, reveal the secret of your girlfriend. Does it matter now that half of her plot is... well, no longer with us?

But perhaps those who want to know secrets about her should just ask you!

Say, I know we're not on the best of terms, but could you give me your alcohol hookup? I hear you know exactly where to go to get some wine.

xoxo,

[text]: If you mean today is the day I am supposed to celebrate coming into existance then yes.

[text]: Ha. Ha. You're /so/ funny

[text]: And if you really think I would let random strangers annoy me all night you're really fucking wrong.

[text] Shaking my head. Now I have to go through all my books to figure it out so I can get a new copy. Well yes I guess it says that too.

[text] I'm not sure at all, actually. Just assuming. Yes, you caught me. You've seen me naked countless times but have totally missed the dick every single time.

[text] Which book is it?? I swear, you do more damange to my books than my dog. And that, for some odd reason, makes me smile. That either says something weird about me, you, or both of us.

[text] I wouldn't expect you to. I'm sure there's physical therapy for such a thing.

[text] I can promise you that my books don't contain things like dick fracturing, so you're safe. I can't help it. Stop /making/ me grin when you're not here to kiss it away. Liar :)

[text] I'm picturing it and.... wow.