#wyvil

lil wesper one shot I have been procrastinating posting. (along with many piano assignments.) but hope you guys enjoy my lil gay men

     Wylan sat in English class, he was doodling on his notebook instead of taking notes. Every once in a while he looked up and fixed his curls, it was like a bird's nest on top of his head. Not brown, red, not straight like sticks. Curly, every morning he had to get up super early to make sure his hair didn't look like a giant mess. Every morning he woke up before the sun rose, sometimes he wouldn't even fall asleep, and styled to make sure it looked good. Most of the time his hair looked like a mess before school even started. 

He would always doodle someone who looked how he felt, how he looked, and what he thought everyone else saw. Most of the time he doesn't pay any attention to class and just draws, but one time he got in trouble for drawing, he made an excuse saying he can't pay attention if he doesn't do something. Which was very false. Nobody knew of this, except for this one kid, Jesper Fahey. The pinnacle of the stupid kids. Jesper and Wylan had gotten pretty close, even during class they would talk. He made Wylan smile, and every time he thought of Jesper his heart skipped a beat. His friends demanded that he had a crush on Jesper, but Wylan would always say, "I'm straight!" which was false. Wylan always knew he wasn't into dating girls, but when Jesper took off his coat in English class the first day Wylan had fallen in love. The way the shirt curved his muscles, the way his skin went with the neon colours even though everyone knew nobody could pull it off. Jesper somehow always shocked Wylan with the new things he would wear. Wylan would daydream about dating Jesprr on a regular basis, during lunch Wylan had to try his best not to stare at Jesper with moon eyes, most of the time it worked, one day Jesper had caught Wylan looking at him and Wylan flushed pink. Ever since then the tension between them was different, they would talk, go to the library together, do projects, homework, and random other stuff together. 

"Sup," Jesper said. He interrupted Wylan's normal daydream about him. "You look like you're thinking about someone and I don't know who."

"Hey," Wylan said, his face going pink again. He hated the way Jesper always made him blush. "I'm thinking about no one."

"Suspicious merchling," Jesper stumbled across the words. Wylan laughed at Jesper. "Oh shut up, you yell at me when I make a mistake. Stop laughing!"

"I can't," Wylan laughed. "You're so confident in literally everything you do, but when you talk to me you go like this random girl who's awkward, you go like me. On every stupid time you talk to me." 

"Not every time," Jesper admitted.

"No Jes," Wylan pushed his curls up. Saints I need a haircut, he thought. "Every time." 

Jesper scoffed and threw a note up into the air then hit it across the room quickly. He mouthed a few words then returned back to his notes. The bell rang and Wylan quickly packed up for lunch and ran outside. 

"Hey," Jesper said, yelling at him. "Slow down!" 

"What?" Wylan said, sitting down at a tree.

Jesper sat beside him, "Wylan, I like you okay?"

"As a friend?" He had to admit, he was confused. Yes, he was one of the smartest kids in school but he didn't understand feelings. 

"No, as a boyfriend type thing," Jesper said, he started playing with his fingers.

"I thought you were straight?" Wylan said, eating his sandwich. Jesper laughed at this. "Okay, fine, laugh at me."

"No, Wylan, I am clearly not straight," Jesper said laughing.

"Or straightforward," Wylan whispered.

"What the hell does straightforward mean?" Jesper said. He grabbed one of Wylan's grapes.

"It basically means that you have trouble understanding things," Wylan said. I guess I'm pretty straightforward then, Wylan thought.

"That indeed I am,' Jesper laughed. Jesper faced Wylan and he looked at Wylan's skin. 

"What?" Wylan said. 

"It looks so soft," Jesper said, he touched Wylan's hand. Wylan looked at him, he put his hand up to Jesper's face. 

"Is it that soft?" Wylan said. He went on his knees closer to Jesper. Jesper put his hand up and touched Wylan's face. Wylan panicked and kissed Jesper. Jesper moved his hand behind his neck and pulled him closer, giving him any chance to let go. But he didn't, he drew closer, he felt Jesper's body heat against his, he felt the warmth of Jesper’s lips moving against his. He smiled, after a few minutes they broke apart. 

"It is that soft," Jesper said after they broke apart. Wylan sat back down trying to breath, his heart was pounding, his mind was racing. 

"Tha- I-," Wylan stuttered. He didn't know what to think, all he wanted was Jesper. He put his hand on Jesper's chest, feeling his heart pound. I'm not the only one, he thought. His heart didn't slow down for a long time. They sat in silence, Jesper eating his grapes, and Wylan eating his sandwich. Every once in a while Jesper put a grape in Wylan's mouth and that would make his heart skip a beat. He had to admit, "if this was like us dating, it wouldn't be so bad." 

"That's what I've been saying," Jesper grinned, this made Wylan smile. Jesper put his hand on Wylan's waist, pulling him closer as they walked into the school. "Stop wiggling tiger."

Wylan flushed pink, "Tiger?" 

"Yes," Jesper kissed Wylan's ear. He put his backpack away for class and grabbed his school books with Jesper watching him. 

The bell rang as Wylan was walking into history, an arm pulled him outside, Jesper pushed him up against a wall and kissed his neck. 

"Jes," Wylan whispered. He let Jesper kiss him, he kissed back whenever Jesper kissed his lips. "Let's go somewhere else."

"Good idea," Jesper whispered. "I know just the place."  He dragged Wylan to behind the bleachers, a football practice was going on but they didn't care. Wylan laid down on the ground, trying to get comfortable. Jesper took off his shirt and put it behind Wylan's head. Wylan looked at his chest, taking in his muscles, everything that his tight shirts went smoothly across. Wylan's heart started pounding, he took off his sweater and Jesper took off his other shirt and started to kiss his stomach. "Are you okay with this?" Jesper asked, his tone curious.

Wylan nodded, "I don't want to go too far."

"Of course," Jesper said. "What's too far?"

"Naked," Wylan admitted. 

"We won't get that far," Jesper winked. Wylan's heart started to slow down, he kissed Jesper and smiled. He let his emotions get the better of him for this one time. After the practice was over Jesper decided it was time they were done. They put their shirts back on in silence. "Let's not tell anyone, you know, about… this."

"Yeah," Wylan thought about it. It would be good if they had a secret relationship, they could still be friends, no one would suspect a thing. "I agree." 

"Good," Jesper grabbed his bag and started to head back into school. Wylan made sure his shirt and sweater was on properly, once they were Wylan walked into school, making sure no one suspected anything. No one noticed him, he always wondered what would happen if he just stopped talking. He never told anyone about it, and if he did he wouldn't tell his dad. He would tell Jesper. He found a safe haven in Jesper, he didn't judge Wylan based on anything.

School ended and Wylan walked outside, the rain pushing his curls into his face. He heard someone call his name and he turned around and saw Jesper running up to him. Once he reached Wylan he tripped, Wylan started wheezing. 

"Stop!" Jesper said getting up. 

"Sorry," Wylan said trying to stop laughing, "What?" 

"I don't care who knows about us," Jesper said, his voice steady. "I don't care if your stupid father doesn't know your gay, because frankly, I'm in love with you. I know that seems fast, but ever since I first saw you, you made my heart skip a beat, everytime you push those stupid curls put of your face makes me fall in love with you more." Jesper started crying, he looked at Wylan through his tear stained face, he had Wylan's hands in his. "I love you Wylan Van Eck, more than anyone could snuggle their way into my heart, and-"

A wesper fanfic, angst, I was sad okay?

Tw: some language (like 3 swears altogether)

Everytime I'm sad I make other people sad, and everytime they are sad it makes me sad, it's a whole loop hole type thing. It makes me depressed.

Anyway, it's a great way to cry.

       Wylan woke up to an empty bed, which wasn't normal. But lately it had been normal, he got up and looked around the room for a bit, he's gone, Wylan thought. He sighed heavily and heard the door open. "Where were you?" Wylan said, once Jesper heard him Wylan saw he jumped. 

"I'm sorry," Jesper said to the shadows. "Wy, I am so sorry." 

"Why? All this stuff! You have everything you wanted!" Wylan yelled at him. "I feel like one day you're going to Crack, I'm not going to see you at night anymore." 

"Wy, that's not true," Jesper stumbled upon the words. "I- I'm sorry."

"Why gamble Jes?" Wylan whispered.He started to walk to the bedroom and Jesper followed him. "Why?"

"I don't know," Jesper said. They got into the bedroom and Jesper sat down on a chair. Wylan walked near the window and stood there. 

"There's always going to be tables, cards to play! One day I'm going to be here anymore and you're going to have to figure it out!" Wylan yelled. They'd fought before, but they've never gotten to yelling. "Cards are alive forever Jes! But I'm not going to be!"

Wylan felt the tears clustering in his eyes, his voice was breaking but he held his stance, Jesper had gone out to the Crow Club again, the third time in the past week. Wylan's left heartbroken every time he leaves in the middle of the night, everytime he could feel Jesper’s body leave the bed, and it was just him. Again.

"Can we talk about this I'm the morning please?" Jesper said, rubbing his head. 

"It's now or never! Jes, you have to stop, the cards, the games, toying with my heart. Everytime you leave that bed I can feel you leaving my heart more and more each day. So pick me or the game? What one?" Wylan yelled. He couldn't hold it in anymore, he let the tears escape his eyes. Jesper didn't respond, he's picking the game, Wylan thought. "Okay, yeah, leave." 

"Wy," Jesper begged.

"No, no you picked the game! Leave, for saints sake Jes, you broke my heart for the last time!" Wylan yelled at him. "Leave! Please." He let the emotion get the better of him, he didn't care. 

"Wylan, I can make it up to you," Jesper said, Wylan saw the tears forming in his eyes. "Just give me another chance."

"You've taken my heart, ripped it out of my chest! You do not get to come in here and beg that I stay with you. I am not giving you another chance, I've seen you the past few weeks, you've been going down this rabbit hole, it's like I don't even exist to you anymore!" Wylan laughed, "You lose at the game too much, well, you've lost me. How does that feel? Just leave, no need to make it worse like you do everything else." 

Wylan stood there, looking at Jesper, the tears falling out of his eyes. Jesper stood there contemplating whether he should leave, and he did. Jesper left, and Wylan sank to the floor. Wylan started crying, not holding in the tears. His emotions were getting the better of him, he thought about what just happened. Who was in the wrong here? Jesper. Jesper is, Wylan thought. He laid down on the floor until the sun rose, he heard a knock on the door and he got up. "Hello?" Wylan's voice cracked out. 

"It's me," Jesper said. "I just need to get some stuff." 

"Alright," Wylan said. He turned around and looked out the window, he heard the door creak open, maybe Jesper was faking leaving. Maybe Wylan was hallucinating this, maybe he was still lying in that dirty room in the Barrel. He felt more tears coming and he held them in, not letting them escape, he wouldn't let Jesper see him cry again. 

"I'm really sorry Wy," Jesper said. He walked up to Wylan and stood beside him. "I didn't mean to hurt you at all." 

"Well you did," Wylan cried. He wanted to hug Jesper, pull him close. Ever since he met Jesper somehow he thought that they were going to be soulmates, a match made in heaven. But clearly Wylan was wrong. The first thought he had about Jesper was his perfect lips, and Wylan took them for granted, he's had them on his lips before. The last time they kissed Wylan didn't know it would be their last. The last time they hugged, the last time they cuddled, Wylan smiled at that. "I'm sorry too."

Jesper hesitated, "He- what? Why? You have no reason to be. I should be the one who's apologizing."

"I know," Wylan turned toward him, he had a smile on his tear stained face. He looked at Jesper, who looked utterly confused. "I'm sorry for the shit that took me here, but I'm not sorry for what's happened, with us, with me and my father. And for some reason, I'm not sorry for all the fucking things you put me through, and you shouldn't be."

"Wylan, you sound insane," Jesper said. Wylan felt this longing to be with Jesper, this force of a pull that was pulling him toward him. "I need you." Jesper moved closer to him.

"Same," Wylan said. Jesper put his hand on Wylan's neck, and pulled him in for a kiss. Wylan pulled in closer. He hadn't felt like this since the first time that they kissed, his heart was racing, his mind was running. He had a list of things to do, but he didn't care. It was him and Jesper. And only them in all of Ketterdam, maybe the whole world. Jesper grabbed his waist and pushed it toward him, but Wylan didn't let go. After a while of it just being them Wylan heard a knock. They parted ways and Inej walked in.

"Hello," Inej said, with a smile. Wylan walked toward the bed and grabbed his sketchbook and left Jesper and Inej. He heard Inej call after him, but he couldn't go back. He just walked around the house and ended up in the music room, a grand piano in the middle.

He put his sketchbook down beside him and let his fingers dance on the keys. He played a slow song, putting his whole heart into it. He closed his eyes and let his fingers do their own thing. After a while he let the music fade, he slowed it down and opened his eyes. He looked around and saw Jesper standing in the door. "How much of that were you standing there for?" Wylan asked quietly.

"All of it," Jesper said. "Most of it." He corrected himself.

"I made it out to you," Wylan laughed, Jesper laughed as well.

"I can tell," Jesper chuckled. Jesper took Wylan's hands and looked him in the eyes. "I want us to work again, and I know that's not fair, and you have every right to be mad at me, but I love you Wylan Van Eck. I would kill everyone in this fucking city to be with you. But I don't know if you feel the same way, and I know I messed up, I'll try to fix it, I promise." Wylan hugged Jesper. Tighter than he ever would before. 

"If this is going to work, you're going to have to promise me something," Wylan said. 

"Of course," Jesper said, he let go of Wylan but still held his hands. "Anything."

"Promise me you won't gamble again," Wylan said. "I've been patient with all this, but one day if you go out to gamble I won't be so forgiving, and I will help you, everyday, every way possible, to help you Jes."

"I promise," Jesper said. "Just, promise me this as well, that if I go missing at night, you'll come looking for me."

Wylan didn't know how to respond, he choked on his words, "Yeah I promise."