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I’ve been sick and had a very bad week so I drew snazzy Wesper to cheer myself up
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modern au where everyone’s afraid of the big bad dangerous gang the crows but then someone looks in the crows’ hideout just to see Dirtyhands bickering with the Corpsewitch about bananas or some random shit. the Wraith is balancing on the Sharpshooter’s shoulders whilst the Chemist chucks m&ms at the Sharpshooter and he tries to catch them in his mouth without dislodging the Wraith. the Fjerdan is in the corner with several pigeons and a duck he’d befriended outside. rasputin is absolutely blasting from a speaker somewhere. they have a human-sized cardboard cutout of the rat from ratatouille leaning against a wall. they have polaroids of all of them taped to the walls next to their arrest records and wanted posters. three different incense candles are burning at the same time. the only items in the fridge are a half-drunken jug of orange juice and a handful of avocados. the Wraith is now making friendship bracelets with the Corpsewitch while the Sharpshooter and the Chemist make out on the couch. these terrifying criminals are just fucking teenagers and they’re funny as hell.
Wylan: WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE???
Kaz (dusting some dirt off his coat): I am visiting some of my associates.
Wylan: sorry, let me rephrase that. HOW DID YOU GET INTO MY HOUSE???
Kaz: the tunnel obviously
Wylan: THE TUNNEL???
Kaz: yes, wylan, the tunnel
Jes (from other room): why is there a giant hole in here.
Wylan: You built a TUNNEL into MY HOUSE
Jes (entering this room): Wy, who are you talking to- oh, Kaz. You're the one who caused this giant hole?
Kaz: yes, the crow club is quite far from here.
Jes: SO YOU DO LIKE OUR COMPANY!
Kaz: LIES!
"I don't even like chemistry," –Wylan Van Eck, in Six of Crows.
Wylan likes art, he likes music, he likes maths, and he does not like making bombs. That's just his job.
Ranking the crows based off of how good I think They'd be with babies:
1. Matthias - his backstory with his baby sister?? You know he practically helped raise her. Babysitter of the century
2. Inej - big family means she had to become VERY familiar with babies. She probably has uncles and aunts younger than her (speaking from personal experience)
3. Jesper - had a good childhood (until his mom died) probably had at least interacted with babies before, and has an easygoing fun personality that babies enjoy
4. Kaz - also likely a good childhood (before The Horrors) though he likely isn't fond of babies as of now (and they wouldn't be fond of him either), he technically understands how they work
5. Nina - girl was barely allowed to be a baby herself? She learned war and espionage at an extremely young age, and so likely has trouble grasping how normal babies behave and what they know, but was in an orphanage so has at least seen a baby before
6. Wylan - grew up incredibly sheltered and then isolated. Has no idea what to do with a baby, probably never even SAW one until he was in the barrel. Would hear one crying and mistake it for the plague siren.
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Hehehe
Wylan “commit to the bit” Van Eck
Kaz “how many ribs did you break” Brekker
Friendly reminder, all the crows are TEENAGERS!
Kaz is basically a criminal mastermind, leading a gang, doing the Dregs taxes in his head, and he wouldn't even have graduated high-school yet.
Inej was kidnapped by slavers and sold at age 14. She became an assassin at 16.
Jesper dropped out of university and developed a gambling addiction at 15.
Wylan took over his father's merchant empire at and had his father put a hit on him while he was 16.
Nina was a child solder. She got captured by slavers and escaped. She got someone she cared about sent to jail. She developed a drug addition. She's 17 years old.
Matthias' family was killed when he was 13. He became a child soldier like Nina after. He got sent to hellgate at age 18.
