wynesthesia replied to your photo āshe looks so strange now, iām terrified of what her ugly phase will be...ā
holy heck are her eyes edited or no?????
nothing particular done with her eyes in that one. lit up the left side of her face a bit and yanked contrast/exposure and saturation overall and that did it, wish i hadnāt rushed through it and instead taken the time to make sure they didnāt look super fake š¬
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wynesthesia replied to your post āIn other news, a few things Iād ordered for Fae have arrived,...ā
have i mentioned i get giggly-teary every time you get all cute talking about getting all this tiny shit for your tiny dog
Itās very different because when it was just supposed to be Not!Sushi, the idea was that for a long time sheād use the stuff that Creed uses and then when she got Bigger Than Creed Iād have to buy new stuff. Now itās the opposite, Fae will arrive here far smaller than any other dog thatās lived with any of us, and will maybeĀ reach Tikiās size and so maybeĀ will be able to fit her stuff (though her custom stuff is retired, and sitting in her memorial box) as an adult. Which means for quite some time thereāll be the antics of chasing around a dog thatās literally about the size of a potato.
wynesthesia replied to your video āI know Iām posting this hella late and this blog has been rather, erm,...ā
i fricken love the way pittie bully types play, look at them, omg
isnāt it precious, aaaaaah
Evie is one of my favorite dogs to watch play because of those silly little barrel rolls that she does. They scare me a little at the same time b/c I worry about HER STUPID SPINE but she has always lovedĀ to tumble and roll.
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wynesthesia replied to your post āSo someone left their dog in their vehicle (parked in the shade, all...ā
just tossing this out there too - just bc they're barking doesn't mean it's SA etc. more like what OP was saying, if you and a bunch of other people leer around my car like a fuckin weirdo (or touch it?! to put a note on it!!!), Asher is gonna curse at you bc you're leerin like a fuckin weirdo.
Yeah if people were trying to peer in the windows, putting notes on it or trying to open the doors Kilo wouldāve been barking at them too. I always parked further away so he wouldnāt be disturbed, but he always just napped in the back. I donāt think people wouldāve even noticed him tbh.Ā
wynesthesia replied to your post āi donāt think iām going to open commissions again until iām living...ā
that's .. kind of bizarre of them to think that they can say these things, at your age about your own work?? i'm befuddled
iām convinced, at least in my momās case, that itās to do with my being on the autistic spectrum. iām not sure that she understands that itās a spectrum with varying qualities and difficulties; youāre either developmentally stunted and need a personal caretaker to wipe away your drool, or youāre a competent supergenius who just canāt relate to people.
she treats me like a child and will very often take my jokes as me saying something earnest, resulting in a condescending lecture. (example: i joked the hospital was probably interested in hiring me because 6 years of working at the pharmacy has me used to theĀ āsick old peopleā demographic, and she very sternly tells me,Ā ādonāt say that in the interviewā, as if iām a fucking idiot who has never had a job interview [or HELPED CONDUCT INTERVIEWS])
she believes, in all honesty, that because while iām unemployed and doing freelance work i choose to stay up all night that i do not understand what a normal sleep schedule is, as if my years of being in the workforce were something i made up...? i guess?
she is an extremely performative person and autistic people are... not. so in her world, my private unemployed behavior is indicative of my public behavior and when i say that i know how something works, her answer is,Ā āwell how am I supposed to know that?ā
because, again, my years in the workforce, including store-level management, were just something I apparently made up.
sheās said more than once thatĀ āmaybe we should just call a spade a spade and get you the help you needā (a caretaker. she means a caretaker.) when i half-jokingly remark that having to leave voicemails gives me anxiety.
iām only here for 3 more days. my dad is kind of the opposite, in that he thinks that iām just weird and unmotivated, so instead ofĀ āyouāre a child-minded idiot who will never be able to take care of herselfā itās going to beĀ āyouāre smart and capable and physically my clone and the fact that youāre not meeting my standards for success means youāre lazyā and iām honestly not sure which is worse
Iām not successful, that much is obvious. I kind of blew my entire early 20s being the caretaker for someone else, blew my first shot at college because I wasnāt medicated and couldnāt handle the pressure, and blew my restart across the country because I got complacent. But Iām capable. I just need help in some places that are no-brainers for most people.
BUT at least i have some interviews lined up so hopefully that means I can get into my own place ASAP. i donāt want to stay with my dad more than a month if I can help it.