#wurstrecipes

Thanksgiving Dinner Options

A Delightful Jello™® Mold of Spaghetti-Os™®†, Campbells™® Condensed Tomato Soup with Vienna™® Sausages

Ingredients

1 Can of Spaghetti-Os™®

½ cup of Childhood Innocence

1 Packet of Jello™® – unflavored, but who are you kidding? You’d make this with raspberry Jello if it meant not going to the store.

23 Cups of the perfect alcohol to drown your sorrows. Or whatever is leftover in the cupboard. Cooking Sherry is an acceptable substitute

1 Dented Can of Campbell’s™® Condensed Tomato Soup.

1 Can of Vienna Sausages. Ask yourself, what are these really made of?

Directions:

In a large pot, place all of your hopes and watch them boil away. Now pour in your water and condensed tomato soup. Use that one can that sits in the back of the cupboard— the one that you bought right after you got out of college and has moved with you 5 times—it’s next to the bulging dented tuna can that you should throw out. Now sprinkle the gelatin on top. Allow gelatin to bloom in the water, about 5-10 minutes. Celebrate your success in making it this far with a shot of tequila.

Once gelatin has bloomed, stir together lightly. Allow your tears to drip into the pot.

Place the pot on the stove and turn the heat to medium. Avoid the temptation to simply walk out the front door and not stop. Keep stirring occasionally until the gelatin has completely dissolved, and the mixture is quite smooth and liquidy. Liquidy. Is that a word? It doesn’t sound right.

Turn off the heat and add the Spaghetti-Os to the pot. Reminisce about how innocent you were the last time you ate these. Consider the intertwined relationship you have with cans of cheap carbs full of processed sugars and your inability to fully realize your adulthood. Mix until well-combined, then pour evenly into 4 cup ring mold. Sob gently in the darkened kitchen. Refrigerate mold for 4 hours or overnight. Celebrate this moment with several shots from that bottle of cheap schnapps somebody dumped on you 8 thanksgivings ago.