#wtffanfic

Been thinking of doing something Whovian, considering the return of the series just a few hours ago. Smilbo will be coming shortly, unless it is requested earlier. 

There was no escape from the press, who demanded the truth from the rumours.

 he would dive into the sea and sacrifice 2 strands of his luscious curls to the lord of the sea, in hopes that the baby would not be his.

 feared the most, however, was the baby itself

 No - he would be indescribably, unquestionably, inevitably, and somewhat indeterminably pencil sharpener.

The rumours of her pregnancy were spreading like wildfire and they couldn't be stopped. Everywhere newspapers were printing "TAYLOR PREGNANT!!!!!!!" and "DEFINITELY PREGGERS", as paparazzi followed her and her boyfriend everywhere they went. There was no escape from the press, who demanded the truth from the rumours.

“Sherlock?” peeped a hedgehog on the sacrificial slab next to him.

John's too cute for me obviously.

“No problem,” Sherlock assured, almost seductively.

“Please Watson, there is no time for your blatant sarcasm - this is a matter of national, no, sorry, inter-dimensional security.”

Does that mean someone is coming?

   ^^^These guys by any chance

“The Furby apocalypse.”

  Slowly their outline became clearer, and it became evident that they were in fact carrots. 

Oh yeah carrots :)

 John uttered with great pompousness, “I told you so.”

  You see I am Captain Samuel Dean Castiel

So it is with my great pleasure that I announce you to be the winner of the Miss United States Pageant!”

  and went back to the bedroom where King Holmes and King Harry of the Murrrmaids were awaiting his mechanical bod and eyes of terror

Eve I feel you should know there is a point in your fics where I feel like a missed something and then I realise I read everyword and you are just totally insane.

Like me :)

Queen Furby whispered powerfully and consolingly to the pair, “Hush my friends, the games are about to begin. May the odds be ever in your favour.”

Too much crossover

"Sherlock?" peeped a hedgehog on the sacrificial slab next to him. Sherlock took a moment to respond, as he had to correctly file away his M&M thoughts for safe keeping - it was serious issue and they needed to be saved properly so he could visit them at a later date. 

"Yessssss?" he responded with evident remorse. 

"Thank you for finding the time to finally listen to what I have to say!" cried John.

"No problem," Sherlock assured, almost seductively.

"Have you worked out what the heck is going on yet?"

"Well, yes, haven't you?"

"Hmm, let me see, we're lying on a sacrificial stone slab in the middle of the night, staring up into a pitch black sky with no stars, with very strange clicking noises emanating from below - its so obvious, I'm dead!"

"Please Watson, there is no time for your blatant sarcasm - this is a matter of national, no, sorry, inter-dimensional security."

"...What is?"

"The Furby apocalypse."

"Oh yes of course the fur---THE FURBY APOCALYPSE?! Have you gone mental?!"

"Well can you think of any other reasonable explanation?"

"Obviously not, but I'm sure there is one, and you're just not clever enough to figure it out!"

The bickering was interrupted from a frightfully shrill clicking noise from below. Silence followed. The pair anxiously awaited the sound to occur again.

Suddenly a bright light shone directly into their eyes, temporarily blinding them. As their sight began to recover, they could see the outline of large, brightly coloured blobs, bristling around, clicking and chirruping. Slowly their outline became clearer, and it became evident that they were in fact carrots. 

After a moment of stunned silence, John uttered with great pompousness, "I told you so."

Unfortunately John's witty remark was heard by the mutant carrots and the llama was promptly eaten, followed by the lemur, lamb, legume and hedgehog. John was gone.

"Now before you eat me, I'll have you know that I am actually entirely aware of your real identities, and therefore you should be aware of mine. I know that you are in fact Furbys for I am also one. You see I am Captain Samuel Dean Castiel of the Furbacular Earth Probe Expedition Unit, in an initial attempt to infiltrate these earthlings. Since them I have undergone a number of physical changes, such as looking less like a fucking scary fuckwit and more like a human (albeit resembling an otter, however I do not see how this is a disadvantage), and stunned the human race with my intellect. Since then I have gathered much information of human life, and have come extremely close to acquiring their central power source, of which I am positive you are searching for. I know of its location and was on my journey to retrieve it, when myself and Mr Watson were rudely interrupted by your impatience, in which you believed it to be necessary to stage a Furby Apocalypse right at that moment, without warning your counterparts of the Furbacular Earth Probe Expedition Unit of your plans. So it is with my great pleasure that I announce you to be the winner of the Miss United States Pageant!"

There was no reaction from the carrots as they lay on the countertop, evidently confused by what they had just heard.

Sherlock was extremely confronted by their lack of recognition to his attempts of reconciliation, so he began to sing, then to bellow, "She's beauty and she's grace, she's mISS UNITED STAAAATESSS, OF ELEGANCE AND GRACE, SHE'S MISS UNITED STATES, AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH, OOOOOAAAAAAHHH" and began waltzing in time with the music in his head.

Queen Furby stroked his chin as he gazed at the television before him, contemplating the colour ratios of a standard packet of M&Ms. Upon recollection, he remembered that there were far more of some colours than others, for example more blues and yellows than reds and greens. However, how would they measure the average? How many packets would have to be sorted through? How many people would be needed to count these, to ensure accuracy? And most importantly, how accurate could these tests be, considering how tiny, tempting and delicious they were.

But now was not the time for such contemplations. He turned off the television set and the documentary it played, and went back to the bedroom where King Holmes and King Harry of the Murrrmaids were awaiting his mechanical bod and eyes of terror. As he entered the room he heard Harry cry "OH NO NOT AGAIN" as he transferred into a mermaid once more. "I TOLD YOU TO BE CAREFUL SHER, NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" he wailed through his sobs. 

"What was that, Lou?" cried Harry from the other room.

"Oh, nothing!" Louis called back, with a slight tremble in his voice. Harry could clearly sense the tremble, so he attempted to eat the banana as soon as possible.

"I'M COMING LOUIS, IF ITS THE LAST THING I EVER DO!!" the curly-haired boy cried. 

At this point, Louis didn't know what to do. The venom had begun to take hold of his lightbulb, and it was becoming extremely difficult to continue baking. But he needed to finish his masterpiece.

Suddenly, Harry burst out of the partially baked cake and through the oven door, sending chocolate cake everywhere. Louis began to tongue the foyer, scrounging for delicious cake and popcorn. Man, his man sure was a hottie.

Unfortunately, the fiery man's hotness set off the smoke alarm, and sure enough, down poured the water, all over the two. Harry attempted to find cover, but it was too late. He'd popped a tail. Again.

Amidst Harry's frustrated declamatory cries, Louis was attempting to find the source of the ticking. Luckily it was not a pipe bomb, just an alarm clock. However just to be on the safe side, he threw it into the lagoon. As soon as the deed was done, Louis went to the aid of his lover boy, now lover mermaid boy.

The boat began to quiver beneath them - Niall didn't know what to do, so he quickly tossed Zayn overboard, as his endless hair gel could potentially propel them somehow. As Niall went to retrieve matches, Zayn had been sucked under by a mysterious force. Harry and Louis searched and searched for their Zayn action figure, but couldn't find it anywhere. It was useless. Ever since that time they'd invited Eleanor over to play lego with them, many of their game pieces had been going missing. Louis scowled her name under his breath, and his distaste for his beard enabled Harry to become human once more.

Suddenly a tremendous roar vibrated the fjord below them, splashing water all about the boat tonight, causing another tail popping for Harry (and consequentially his relentless expletives) and more stress for Louis.

at first I was like:

but then I was like: