He looks past you right through the journey you must take and smiles glad to imagine your suffering

He knows exactly what you will lose

the gifts the stolen moments

every ounce of comfort a shoulder to absorb your tears

When the person you need the most is the one who is gone

you wonder who they'd be what they'd say how they'd feel about your life

But there is only an empty cavern ahead a void that holds their silenced future

Grief may try to eat you but you can't join them for now

Treasures still await you so don't vacate your grotto of tomorrows

On A Happier Note! Because!

I've finally finished the chapter! it was a bloody long chapter.... one-shot?... chapter? Part?

About 8k words+

It can be a one-shot I guess, but I do have... plans... for like, scenes that follow.

These plans and these scenes of which have not been written... except a 800word scene... and lots of notes. -sighs-.

Still haven't decide if I should post the 8k words first. or. hoard it till I have more of the following scenes written.

I didn't make a post, so I can't recall now, if it was yesterday, or the day before that. Anyway. I wrote. some. of that new Malec fic. hahahahahha. yeah. remember when I said I was writing some 00Q fic. well hello brain. it decided to go off on a tangent. why? i don't know why. or more like i'm too lazy to think back and find out why.

side note-

the sheer number of hours i've spent playing that snake game is obscene btw, like 200 hours type of obscene. and that's just in this past couple months (past few, past several, well it was within this year for sure). that's like. more than a whole week. of snake game P R O C R A S T I N A T I O N .... it's my new doomscrolling.

I think the problem lies in the fact that I'm overthinking (my writing) again. I try to remember, about that time in 2023 when I just wrote and the words just flowed like a high pressure tap. Then. I read back that story I wrote and I cringe a lot at the sheer intense need of editing. that. will remain unedited. readers have been warned - no beta - and that story shall die no beta.

so here i am. writing all this. instead of that fic.

Which I wrote at work - 600+ words - today. The good thing about working on google docs. It looks like work sometimes ;)

a measly, pathetic, 785 words, of a NEW PLOT like I don't have enough.

idk why i keep doing this.

it's like these plots i keep plotting aren't even motivating me.

It's one of the WIPs that I've left, not been updated since, 2023-08-19. hmm close to 2 years damn...

No sense of motivation though... :<

At times I wonder, is all this considered as good practice? productive practice? Does any of this help me in any way to perhaps one day reach my goal of publishing a book? Who knows, time will tell, and life goes on.