I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW that my vacuum cleaner is like if you took a Poltergust9000 from Luigi's Mansion for Nintendo Gamecube and gave it rippling pecs and shredded biceps. Like you gave it the spookiest meatiest MONSTER PENIS you've EVER SEEN ON A VACUUM CLEANER.

This baby sucks up dirt, dust, AND spaghetti. This puppy gobbles up ghosts, ghouls, and spirits. This bitch DEVOURS you, your weak ass ghost AND YOUR MOTHER WITH IT'S MASSIVE VACUUM PENIS!!!!1#!

And I take care of it very well. I'm very passionate over Luigi's Mansion for Nintendo Gamecube and I take it's upkeep very seriously. It's a well oiled machine of fuck you and suck you.

So next time you threaten me, remember the massive vacuum bag of whoop-ass i hold at my disposal.

-Jack

Mod: Normally, I’d delete this. But I don’t even know anyone named Jack. And if it’s the name of a mun...