#writtingdown

The other day I was watching a bunch of videos at YouTube to escape the reality of what I’m feeling.

My husband, whom I love immensely, got home and took me out of my bubble.

I couldn’t stop crying.

Facing reality.

Facing my feelings of not wanting to be here.

Facing all the shit I should have done and didn’t.

And I couldn’t find a way to explain to him that he’s the best thing that ever happened to me, and the fact that I want to disappear has nothing to do with the fact that I love him so much.

So I kept quiet.

Sometimes I feel so tired of living.

Like if I have no more energy to breath.

But my functional body doesn’t let me go.