Overcoming Depression

I don't want my life anymore

But the tricky thing is

That I don't want another one

The other day I was watching a bunch of videos at YouTube to escape the reality of what I’m feeling.

My husband, whom I love immensely, got home and took me out of my bubble.

I couldn’t stop crying.

Facing reality.

Facing my feelings of not wanting to be here.

Facing all the shit I should have done and didn’t.

And I couldn’t find a way to explain to him that he’s the best thing that ever happened to me, and the fact that I want to disappear has nothing to do with the fact that I love him so much.

So I kept quiet.

Sometimes I feel so tired of living.

Like if I have no more energy to breath.

But my functional body doesn’t let me go.

Sometimes I just wish the world stops.

But not like time stops and you can see everything around you paused.

More like a super bomb exploded and everything disappears.

No, I’m not into blood and body parts everywhere.

I would like it to be in a fraction of seconds, like a blink.

Like if I could blink this feeling away.

And it’s done.