#writingthoughtsdown

The lingering smell of you still sits in the house. Every now and then I will smell your soap in the bed room and your cigarette smell in one of my shirts.

The thought of you is still there. This isn't a normal move on and get over you break up. You died. In my arms while I tried to save you. So how do I move on? What if I want to move on and fall in love again? What if I find love better than what we had?

I sometimes can feel you close by. Your touch on my arm, you kiss on my cheek while I sit on the couch and I feel you watching me. You did do that alot. When I wasn't looking. I want to believe that it is you but I know it's not. You're gone.

What would I do if you did walk through that door? Like a normal day.

'Hey baby, I missed you. How was your day?' You smile at me. Those sky blue eyes staring at me. My heart would skip and I would faint. You would hold me and ask what's wrong. I don't know for sure but once I got all my thoughts together I tell you to call your mom. I don't think I would leave him though. The new guy. After you.

I look into his deep ocean blue eyes and I feel the way I did when I kissed you. When he kisses me I feel the way I did watching old teen heart throb movies. Longing to have that passion, that man who would run down an air plane to tell her he loves her. When he holds me I feel safe and at home. Like in Disney princess movies. Where they hold hands looking at eachother like this is it. This is where I belong. I see the light and he is staring back at me.