#writingpiece

Should I write a part 2?

I can no longer hold your hand in the adult world, I can no longer be that shoulder to cry on, Not because I'm cruel or malicious But because I'm all worn out, My shoulder has been corroded away by your tears, My hand has been crushed by your fear, I can no longer whither away for your benefit, I can no longer press pause for you to catch up, Not because I'm selfish or don't care, But because there's no me left to look after, My heart has begun to feel your pain, My life takes steps backwards due to all the rewinding I can no longer be the person to understand because I don't, I can no longer hold you above water because I'm drowning, Not because I'm stupid or not strong enough, But because we don't want the same out of life, My morals just don't match with yours, My life doesn't just include you anymore, I can no longer be who you need me to be because that person just isn't me, and if you ask me to stay around.. you're just asking me to change, and I need to be me. I need to be my sane.

Enter the forests, mind open, taking in the fresh scents, whimsical trees and all, flittered enormously, ready to be seen. Captured and captivated--your utmost presence, connects to the beasts and beings that dwell. Intertwined in nature's cove, learning yet rooting as life progresses, for the yield is never completely over. The journey's path simply evolves as season's change, and the trees grow somewhat coarser, but in all abundance, the brilliance is forever lasting. Earth's dwellings signal the beauty within, a man's wild, untamed heart.

Dear Dad. I'm writing again. Did you know I wrote? Did you know I'm fucking good at it too? I'm sober now. Did you know it hurts like Hell to stop drinking? No because you've never quit. I'm Bi-Sexual Dad. Do you know what that means? I'm sure the though of your son kissing another man must disgust you! Hey Dad! My Son is almost Six and I haven't walked out on him yet and I never intend too! HEY DAD! Did you know I can cry without someone hitting me or telling me how much I suck? Hey. This is only writing I know and it might not mean anything to you. But one day I will say this to your face. You can be sure of that! Hey... I woke up this morning and went to work. At work I cried, but I finished my up and was commended on a what a great job I did there. Hey Dad... Tonight I picked up my Pencil and wrote and while I wrote I noticed something about myself. Hey Dad. I became and continue to become with every passing day, a better man then you. You can rest assured that one day, I WILL say this to your face. But a few Pencil scratchings will do for now.

 Think of all the endless possibilities you have in this world. You can travel the world, meet the love of your life, explore new things, be happy with who you are, and so much more. You just need to apply yourself every single day and find the hobby you love. 

He makes me wonder if his sin will be forgiven Or shall we say God is a given. Why are we driven? To make a pool of lies and dive in

I wish I could be extraordinary, like a flickering spark in a painted black room. Sometimes I see that glow in myself, I try to spread a smile and show it to everyone, or maybe just show it to myself. Yet these thoughts pursues me like a nightmare biting at my heels. I try to run away but its no use. My father got accepted to harvard when he was younger, my brothers are both remarkable in school and band. My sister has an unbelievable maturity and organizational cleverness that I have never before witnessed. My mom lets sweat drip down her face everyday, working on her art, working for her business. She is an amazing artist. Kids from school running around with scholarships already pinned to their backs. Yet I sit here, blank mind with cloudy thoughts. My body pressed to the bottom of the pool, chains binding me down while I watch everyone around me swim. I wish I could be extraordinary, I wish I was great, I wish I could be someone great. But for now I just sit, waiting for my own self to swim as well.