#writhing

Bill Interrogated | CIA 1x08

Tumblr: Oh dear, Ao3 is fine he just, Hm... *sigh* You know he has health problems, my love, He had a... sudden relapse, but he'll be back soon, okay? *huggs we*

*sniffles and snuggles into the hug* "o-ok" *sniffle* "how long this time?"

What kind of person you are! Fae, you're the kind of person who thrives on being alone. You don't need others to make it in the world, but others often need you. You're dependable, reliable, trustworthy, and grounded. Your perfectionism is due to the fact that you know exactly what you want, how you want it, and when you want it. And when it comes down to needing help, you will outwrite refuse and figure everything out on your own.

Because no one does it right anyways. So why bother?

You do virtually everything alone, you don't really ever feel like you have anyone to lean on anyways. You've done everything solo, so why should the emotional aspect of your life be any different? You're lost in your mind pretty often. Swimming in daydreams, drowning in thoughts, overthinking until you're sure you've lost it. You call it imagination, but it's really dissociation. You're uninterested in the real world because it's not going the way you want it to. 

Everything hiding beneath your RBF is strong, and heavy. But when you open your mouth, it all comes out soft, faint, unconfident. There's no strength to portray yourself any differently, due to the fact it's all being used to keep everything in. And even if you opened up, who would it be to? The four walls of your room, or the trees, or maybe that one trustworthy friend of yours.

But even then, you don't allow them to scratch deeper than the surface.

You may not share your emotions or vulnerability. But you do share your curiosity, you express your suspicions, and your bright passion for the unknown in the world around you. You're the kind of person to take a 'walk' and then accidentally hike two miles into the woods because what if you happen to find, Bigfoot? You're the kind of person who pours over research everyone says is useless or stupid, and in your mind you're thinking, 

"Well, what happens if we need to know about Lycanthropy? I am the only person in the room who could save us."

What kind of hunter you are! You used to just be someone who obsessed over true crime in your bedroom. Listening to podcasts, watching Killer Kids on Peacock, looking into cold cases. And now here you were, standing in an abandoned warehouse where three people were found murdered. You just happened to be the only civilian curious enough to dig deeper than the cops were. 

Hunting does scare you though, deep down it rattles you to your core. You're uncomfortable with the idea that at any point in time you could killed, hurt, gone. It totally unsettles you. But your determination and drive keeps your shaky hand holding up your flashlight, and your other hand holding onto your somewhat pretty notes. 

As a hunter, you're thorough and thoughtful. You question everything and don't stop until all of your questions are answered. You care for every victim you save and meet, sometimes even checking up on them after the case is all said and done, just to be sure that they're doing well. Never by call though, likely through a message you'll reread a hundred times before you actually send it. 

Your heart keeps you in the game. Logically, you think hunting is awful. It smells, it's gross, you're scared, the motels you stay at suck, and to make matters worse you're constantly covered in monster gore, and the other hunters are assholes. But you get it done. Your curiosity is relentless, and in the field, you're in control. 

Dean Winchester and You! You met Dean through another hunter. Dean owed that guy a favor, and what he asked for was for Dean to teach you how to hunt properly because he didn't want to do it. "Get this Rookie trained for me, Winchester, and I'll drop what you owe me." Dean hated the idea. He hated owing people more. He also didn't particularly like when other people got involved in hunting, and he hated having to teach them how to survive.  But God did those pretty green eyes soothe his soul. You looked like nymph. Or something that'd lure him straight to the ocean by song. And your sweet demeanor might've worked on him at a bar, but in the hunt? It made him worry about you.

Dean's first impression of you, is that you won't make the cut. You're too soft spoken and too caught up in your own head. You're just a curious cat that was going to get squashed by the world you wanted so badly to be in and do right. But then again, he owed that hunter a favor, so he'd do his best to keep you alive and teach you what he knows.

"Fine. But I owe you nothing after this." Dean grumbled out bitterly with his arms crossed over his chest, before he looked over at you, "Get your gear, Sweetheart. Pack light, you're in for a long ride." He huffed through his nose, gave that other hunter a harsh glare before heading back outside and to his car.

Little fun things! Dean didn't expect that once you get comfortable, you'd be so talkative. He also didn't expect you to question everything and actually want to learn. He assumed you'd be some chick who was getting into hunting not caring about much. But you care a lot. Just like Sam did when he was a kid. Your heart was in this. Not just your head. And not an ego.

Dean didn't let you really hunt alongside him or Sam until he trusted you with a weapon. And by trusted, he meant once you were trained by him. You held one of his guns up, one green eye pinched shut, the other focusing on the target ahead of you. Dean was coming up behind you to take your hands in his and help you aim, "Hold and aim like that. You do it any different, and your face'll be gone." You were tense under his rough palmed touch. He could feel your tension. And he stepped back feeling a bit strained himself. 

Your first genuine hunt with Dean was one of your biggest nightmares. A warlock was taking the eyes of his victims and using them in rituals to take glimpses into the future. Dean was pushing ahead, cringing at all of the jars holding eyeballs. "Jesus, what a sight." But his pun fell off when he saw you, paled, wide eyes, gulping, "Fae? Y'alright?" He sighed heavily before pulling you forward by your arm to stay in step with him. Which.. inadvertently made you feel safer. 

Sam and you read pretty often together. You'll read a book and then pass the book you just finished onto Sam and vice versa. Dean, he picked up that you really liked reading and started 'casually' swinging by the libraries in towns he'd have a hunt at, just to bring back new books for you. He always brushed it off as being nothing, that the books were for his 'nerd of a brother' too. But you know better than that, Fae.

You are one of the very few people Dean will hug regularly. He's been away on a hunt that took a few weeks, he's trudging through the Bunker, dropping his duffle once he sees you, and is allowing you into his arms for a hug. He grunts at the force you apply when you slam into his chest, but then he's laughing, "Missed me that much?" He's playing it cool, but you can hear his heart racing when you lean into his chest.

Extras! You are an absolute menace on cases where you go undercover with the brothers. You're in a sparkling new FED suit, on the porch of a victim's home, you and the Winchesters were about to interrogate them, and when you'd open your mouth, suddenly you were Agent Van Halen who also happens to be British. Sam would be dying internally, and Dean would just roll with it. "Looks like we're hunting with someone from, Wales." He'd snort and elbow Sam, who looked ready to murder you both. "Don't enable her."

Dean's sweet with you, because you're a natural comfort to him. You're the only stable thing he has in his life. Except for when he does something outside of what you planned in your head that day, but never actually verbalized for him to follow, then you're a little she-demon. But other than that, you're his Stable Haven. And he does what he can to make you happy and feel comfortable at the bunker, so you never decide to leave.

Dean got flustered the first time you asked him to help you with your hair, "You want me to help you, with your hair?" He raised a brow and looked at you confused. His gaze fell over to Sam who just shrugged. You had oil on your hands from cleaning your guns and you needed your hair out of your face to finsih the job. Dean carefully braided your long hair and tied it off with a band just for you. Just because you asked.

Dean used to doubt you as a hunter. But you were proving him wrong with each hunt you went on with him and his brother. Sure, he taught you the basics to hunting, but you were coming into being a hunter of your own making. He just worries about you getting hurt now. Not from a lack of knowledge, but from sacrifice. One the ballsier hunts you do quite a bit to save him and Sam, and that scares the hell out of him.

Overall! Based on all of the lovely information you've shared with me, like your zodiac, your favorite color, your fears and more, I can say that you're a very loyal, reliable, and determined individual. Sure, you can be a bit of a perfectionist, maybe even hard on yourself by keeping everything inside, but you're still such a strong person. 

You're someone who could be trusted to not burn down a house if they were home alone. You're someone who people can go to for answers that are deeper than what Google has to offer, but you're also someone who can make others question things on a more profound level too. You're seriously amazing Fae, and I hope both sides of your pillow are cold.

Now, based on everything, I see you being compatible with Dean, in the cutest and in an emotionally deep way. There is potential, because I see him finding you beautiful in and out. And if he were to just look past the idea that you're too good for him, it would flourish beautifully. If the relationship with him doesn't work out, it'd be on him.

You're his 'too good to be true', and he'd question you a lot, are you willing to reassure him?

"Fae! What the hell was that back there?" He's shouting over the downpour that's slamming against your bodies, "I was saving you." 

"Saving me? I don't need savin', Fae." He scoffed out. "Well, clearly you did, Dean."

"No, you don't do that for me! Never. I ain't gonna lose you like everyone else who tried saving me!" He's angry, not at you, rather at what you did. You scared the hell out of him. You made him feel trapped and he hated it. He despised it even. If the rain wasn't pouring so hard, you might've been able to see his tears and his vulnerability better.

"You won't lose me, Dean."

"You don't know that, Sweetheart! So, stop takin' those risks. I'm not worth it." His self-deprecating nature was taking over. He didn't feel like he was worth more than your life, he wasn't even worth a quarter of it. "Stop that, Dean!"

"Stop what? Huh? Being honest. I thought you liked that, Fae. That I'd never lie to you." He snapped back at you. And it hurt. He could see your lips quivering; he could see your eyes hurting. He was pushing you away by making you feel unsafe, by putting thoughts and words that were never yours to begin with in your mouth and believing them. 

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart. C'mere.. don't cry." He's walking towards you now. The inches between you both shrank into nothing. You were pulled taut against his soaking clothes and body by him. His hand is at the back of your head tangled in your wet locks, his other is rubbing your back. "I'm sorry. 'M so sorry. I was scared, Fae. I was just scared." He sounded weak, he sounded vulnerable, and he was easy to forgive in that moment. He wasn't lying. He brough the hand that was in your hair to your face to angle it up. Rain dribbled down both of your pained features, "I'm sorry." He gritted out again, hoarse and rough. 

You initiated it the final step that'd lead you two to more. You leaned up and kissed him. Your wet and cold hands cradled his face, as you poured yourself into Dean. 

I seriously loved making this one! And I really hope that you like it and that it's accurate to you, if not you can totally let me know! It helps me grow and do better! <3

Bridgerton 4x03 | Benedict Whump